Am I being clingy?

**honggie** · 22-02-13, 12:07 AM

So recently I've been getting really bad anxiety. The anxiety comes from my fear of my boyfriend breaking up with me, getting bored of me, or me stressing him out too much. The anxiety has been so bad that I actually had to go talk to a doctor.

Anyway, because of the anxiety I have I've been really clinging onto my boyfriend. We don't go to the same school and he's always SUPER busy with school and after school activities. He hardly texts me during the day or even after school. When we can talk on the phone we don't really talk for that long. Maybe 40 minutes max? I barely get to see him so I always miss him like crazy.. I always want to talk to him and be around him.. It's gotten so bad that I think he's distancing himself away from me. What should I do?

He's very busy, but for me, I'm very free because I barely ever have homework. I'm a very shy person so I don't have that many friends to hang out with (they mostly all go to a different school). And I don't have any interest in the after school activities that my school has.

He tells me he loves me a lot, but sometimes it's hard to believe because we barely talk. Sometimes I wonder if he's too busy for a relationship.. I really don't want to break up with him though! Please help ):

**michelle23** · 22-02-13, 12:10 AM

If your boyfriend breaks up with you-you will be strong, you will deal with it if it happens and time will heal it. Stop worrying, enjoy what you have and if you feel like he is "too busy" to the point that your just waiting around for him a lot-I suggest you dump him and get a new bf.

You need to get out more though, spend time with friends and family and also join a hobby. You cant spend all your free time with him..

**jjbob** · 22-02-13, 12:39 AM

to add to the great points michelle23 give you, do you want to be in a relationship that just works and you feel comfortable in. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else. And if your personality and effort is not good enough for him then sometimes you need to move on. Its unfortunate he doesnt have the balls to let you know.

The world is filled with so many amazing people, dont let yourself get so messed up over one.

**ashley89** · 22-02-13, 01:00 AM

yes you're starting to get too clingy and letting your anxiety get the best of you. I have anxiety too so I totally know how you feel! you can't control your thoughts even though you know most of the time you're over-reacting and thinking things that aren't true. you do need to have your own hobbies and activities because it isn't healthy to rely solely on him for your happiness. you need to find something you can do on your own where you can meet new people and have fun without him. otherwise this is not going to end well because he will become smothered and feel like he can't do anything on his own, which isn't good!

**bearz** · 22-02-13, 01:05 AM

How often do you see each other and talk on the phone? If you truly like someone and want to spend time with them, then there is always time for a short text message during the day. If he can't manage that, then he might not be ready for a relationship and the commitment it takes that you are looking for.

**toknow** · 22-02-13, 01:15 AM

You can not smother with love someone who truly loves you, it's just impossible. Can you smother yourself with yourself? The closer you are to a person the more they become a part of you. If he can feel smothered that shows you aren't close.

**pcmaster** · 22-02-13, 01:55 AM

I would answer but got too pissed of because of your post honggie.

**Boisdevie** · 22-02-13, 01:55 AM

Originally Posted by toknow

You can not smother with love someone who truly loves you, it's just impossible.

That's just crap. If my GF was phoning me every five minutes it would piss me off.

**toknow** · 22-02-13, 02:17 AM

LOL...Boisdevie, I couldn't care less what you think or if you will even know what real love is. That's why I won't waste my time trying to explain it to you. You could never comprehend it, nor have it, so you'll just have to live with that. And you know what...I'm fine with that. Everyone gets what they ultimately want. So, live in your little lie, that's ok with me. Just don't act like you know anything about it, because apparently you know nothing.

LOL...I just remembered who I'm talking to...and I don't think even half if it will be processed through your brain...but it will still be funny watching you try.

**Boisdevie** · 22-02-13, 02:39 AM

Originally Posted by toknow

Everyone gets what they ultimately want. So, live in your little lie, that's ok with me. Just don't act like you know anything about it, because apparently you know nothing.

I hope you're right about the bit that everyone gets what they ultimately want. Kinda like a Disney film. I want a Ducati for Xmas. Not gonna happen. I also want you to get stuffed so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

**toknow** · 22-02-13, 02:41 AM

LOL...I think you should stop right there...you might lose that half a brain cell you got left.

Your trying to understand my posts is like a chicken trying to use a computer....AHAHAHAH...Still fun to watch though.

**ashley89** · 22-02-13, 03:07 AM

Originally Posted by toknow

You can not smother with love someone who truly loves you, it's just impossible. Can you smother yourself with yourself? The closer you are to a person the more they become a part of you. If he can feel smothered that shows you aren't close.

this is not true, everyone needs their space. I am the type of person who definitely needs my alone time, I love spending time with my family and friends but too much time around them and I need a little space. most people need time apart to just relax and actually appreciate the other person, if you're always living up each other's ass how could you have time to miss your bf/gf?

**rob1984** · 22-02-13, 03:10 AM

OP, its simple.. he's putting his future and school a priority and you secondary.. and you are putting him a priority and school/future secondary.. there is nothing wrong with any of you.. however I think the school and future part is more important and you should motivate him.. if he did not want you he would have said so.. and simply said too busy for a relationship... find some hobbies, or extra curricular activities and set dates to hang out.. you will miss him more and appreciate every moment you get. Good Luck. Do not make him chose between school/future cause you will lose.. so just be part of it and make your own so he can enjoy it as well. You have many years together

**toknow** · 22-02-13, 03:13 AM

Ashley, I can only say it. I truly can't explain it to someone who can't comprehend it. And that's ok.

**Boisdevie** · 22-02-13, 03:16 AM

Originally Posted by ashley89

this is not true, everyone needs their space. I am the type of person who definitely needs my alone time, I love spending time with my family and friends but too much time around them and I need a little space. most people need time apart to just relax and actually appreciate the other person, if you're always living up each other's ass how could you have time to miss your bf/gf?

Careful there ashley89. Disagree with toknow and you'll get accused of having half a brain cell. Poor deluded lamb.

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