Very confused. Made out/flirted and now she won't answer texts?

[guitarman17]

We're both college age. I met this girl last semester, very cute and sweet, but never saw her around that much. We inadvertently had lunch a few times together after running into each other at the dining halls though, and I got to know her a little. There was definitely an attraction, but she had a boyfriend.

This semester, we both ended up going on a club's retreat, and I found out she mutually broke up with her boyfriend around 2-3 weeks ago.
We hit it off again right away and by the end of the night I made a move on her, and we made out a little bit but nothing more than that, we were both pretty tired.
She grabbed my hands though, making it clear that the attention was wanted, and we slept and cuddled next to each other.

Now this is where I don't know what's going on.
The few texting convos we had after the trip she would respond like 6 hours after I messaged.

I texted her to ask her if she wanted to get some dinner a few days after the trip, and she hasn't answered at all a few days later.
This girl is clearly pretty into me, she spent the whole night at the party talking to me, kissed me, ignored other guys, but now it's been complete radio silence.


What gives? I've never had this happen, where I get to know someone, kiss them, and then they don't talk to you.
Might she be reluctant to date me so soon after a long term relationship?
What the hell is it with girls seeming so candid and normal in person, but acting this way when it comes to outside communication?
What should my next move be? Should I text her something witty in a few days? Should I assume it was her recent breakup and wait longer?



She told me that her and her ex were still great friends, but she didn't know what would happen if one of them started dating someone else.
This makes it like she was open to dating someone else, but at the same time, she ignored my date request.

By the way, none of these are valid reasons, I know for a fact:
- she was looking for a one-night thing. definitely not, it's not like I just met her, and we didn't do much. Plus she's very smart and doesn't seem like that type of girl.
- I'm a bad kisser. No, I'm fine at kissing, this is hopefully not something that someone would mention, there's a deeper cause.

[guitarman17]

Did you not read what I just said at the bottom? I've kissed plenty enough times from having long term gfs to know I'm not THAT bad, and I'm pretty decent from what I've been told.
Not helpful..plus she's been sketch about responding to messages and stuff before this ever happened.

[guitarman17]

Haha alright then. Nope lol. Asian, but I don't think that's related.
The general thing I think may be affecting the situation is her ex-boyfriend. Perhaps she doesn't want to go on a date and risk losing him as a friend?
I've heard she clings on to people when she shouldn't. I guess I've answered my own question, but I was hoping for a fresh perspective.

[missella]

I don't know, maybe she's shy or not ready for another relationship, or kind of regrets what happened but doesn't want to hurt you.

[guitarman17]

She's vietnamese. The thing is, she's dated non-vietnamese, and isn't heavily religious or anything, these things I know for sure. Haha dude I see your point but I really don't think it has to do with her race in this particular case.

But yes, it has me ****ing puzzled as well. Thanks for your idea man. Like I said, it's pretty damn clear she's into me when she's around me. I feel like it has to do with her ex-boyfriend apparently being one her "best friends" still according to another friend.

I've never had this much trouble figuring someone out. I'm not needy or desperate and haven't showed signs of that to her.
But this behavior is throwing me off. After making out with someone and cuddling with them a whole night (when pretty sober too), you usually hear from them...
Maybe she doesn't want to be someone who is seen as moving from relationship to relationship too fast? man.

[guitarman17]

Haha. Dude you're pretty funny, but like I've already stated, her race is a non-issue here. No jews or gook problems involved.

[tassy]

lol.

I'm not very good at advice if it's not jew or race related dude, sorry. A bunch of canadians will be online soon to help you out with the finer workings of the female mind. They talk sense mostly, apart from a dude called cerby, who sucks cock in his spare time, inbetween banning people for **** all. Good luck man.

Why you are replying if you not very good? This dude needs real answers, not random musings. lmao

[halfandhalf12]

You sent her messages, she isn't responding. I have a rule. Never send text messages back to back. It has nothing to do with not trying to look desperate or anything related to that. It is just simply that communication should be two ways in order for it to be effective. If she can't play her part, and message your back (for whatever reason) it's not worth your time. If she doesn't want to jump in to a relationship, she should be able to write and tell you that. If she can't make the date or doesn't want to go on it, then she should be able to tell you that. If she isn't going to take the time to respond, then don't give her anymore of your time. Go about your day and chalk it up as a good time together for one night. If she is interested and not too caught up in herself, then she will come back around...and then you can decide if you want to give her your time or not. There are too many girls out there to get caught up in games like this. Good Luck!

[ashley89]

if she were interested and wanted to go on a date she would have answered. I would take the silence as a no. when I'm into a guy, I would definitely want to spend time with them if they asked, so since she hasn't replied, it leads me to believe she doesn't want to go. maybe she was just flirting and wanted to make out, but she is playing the silent game now. I wouldn't waste time on someone who can't even give you a yes or no response!

[fearoflove]

The kiss and cuddling was in the moment thing.

[bearz]

The kiss and cuddling was in the moment thing.

I have done that before and it didn't mean anything to me, but it was mutual so it made the situation less awkward afterwards. We made out, we cuddled, we slept in the same bed, but that was it. So I can see her point of view.

[VincenzoG91]

You were the rebound guy. Time to bounce.

[HeartIsAching]

Was it just the one text she hasn't answered? SMS isn't always reliable. I've had text turn up days after they've been sent, or not at all.

[Cerby]

You were the rebound guy. Time to bounce.

Yep, entertainment for that evening only. You think she was in to you, but the reality is that it was just an emotional escape for the evening. She isn't replying because she regrets it, or isn't interested any more.