My married lover, I dont know what to do.

[Boisdevie]

But As of right now im moving fwd with my life

Can I suggest as part of the 'moving forward' bit that you learn how contraception works? I'd hate to see the planet full of kids which are half narcissist half idiot.

[Maple1714]

I know I am prob. going to piss some people off with the following statements, but honestly I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom, have a man pay for everything and also be able to have other lovers on the side. I would also require about $3,000 a month for my retirement fund, spending $$ and spa trips.

I think the feminist movement f-ed a lot of things up. I do not believe that any woman truly wants to bust their ass taking care of their children and bust their ass working a full time job...just so she can "feel" equal to a man. Women were not made to work ALL day...wtf? I would like to work-out, have lots of sex, cook healthy meals, raise happy human beings and go on trips. What's the problem? Women

[Wakeup]

Not too many men can afford to do what Nicki describes.

What would you have women do when their husbands kicked them out of the house and they had no skills to look after themselves... which is exactly what often happened prior to women wanting equal rights to men. Divorce was unheard of and if you did happen to get a judge to give you one, no woman would trust you around her husband so you would lose female friends as well. The "Movement" had nothing to do with feeling equal to men, it was all about having equal rights to property and wages for doing the same job as men.

[Maple1714]

Not too many men can afford to do what Nicki describes.
The "Movement" had nothing to do with feeling equal to men, it was all about having equal rights to property and wages for doing the same job as men.

Yes, I know. It also had to do a lot with emotion.

You can still get an education and develop a skill set while being taken care of. Cooking and taking care of children are skill sets and are becoming more important now than ever. I don't know what the right answers are, but I do think that women trying to juggle family and work has put a lot of stresses on today's "family" and we will continue to see the negative effects of this dynamic play out for a long time in American culture. Women need to be crafty, we need to make sure we save $$ for ourselves and we need to make sure we can survive without a man around...BUT I am just saying it would be nice to have a man take care of me so I didn't have to work

[Wakeup]

...BUT I am just saying it would be nice to have a man take care of me so I didn't have to work

I totally get that, Maple. It was more the comment about "feeling" equal to men and the women's movement being to blame that prompted me to respond. I had no trouble with bringing up our daughter, looking after the household chores and then going back to work after she was in school full time.. We could afford that, so that's what we did. It worked out beautifully and I didn't have to use a man married to someone else and then cry because he wouldn't leave his wife and marry me to do it. I concede that it's not as easy to be able to be a stay at home mother now due to the high cost of living.

cheers.

[bcgirl]

There are a lot of harsh answers and I'm probably the harshest of them all. But I really still think you just don't get it. No, we don't know every detail of your relationship, but we don't have to. We already know enough to categorize him as a douche and you as naive. He is a successful business man. He must be a master of persuasion to sell, and you bought it... Still believing his pitch of how great of a man he is. Well guess what, the cigarette companies got everyone believing that everyone needs to smoke until millions ended up dead. In the end, he views you as just business. If it ain't u, it will be another young naive girl. Same with them cig companies, business is failing in North America so they are targeting vulnerable, uneducated kids in third world countries like Indonesia. Please be smarter than that and really look deep instead of the surface and all that fluff he's done for you. I know because I've done exactly what your boyfriend has done and ppl like us know very well how to play the game of manipulation to get our ways. I can too very well sell ice to an Eskimo. But remember... Wolves are sometimes disguised in Sheeps clothing. Don't be a stupid sheep

[bcgirl]

I know I am prob. going to piss some people off with the following statements, but honestly I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom, have a man pay for everything and also be able to have other lovers on the side. I would also require about $3,000 a month for my retirement fund, spending $$ and spa trips.

I think the feminist movement f-ed a lot of things up. I do not believe that any woman truly wants to bust their ass taking care of their children and bust their ass working a full time job...just so she can "feel" equal to a man. Women were not made to work ALL day...wtf? I would like to work-out, have lots of sex, cook healthy meals, raise happy human beings and go on trips. What's the problem? Women

Who says a woman has to bust her azz cookin and cleaning and taking care of babies? We are in modern times where men are definitely capable of that too. In my house, my husband cooks every day and I do the dishes. I do laundry while he fixes the house and vacuums. We have equal responsibities. That would truly suck if you work full time and then come back home to work full time. But... That is what is difficult about being a single mom. They don't have the husband to help ease the load

[Maple1714]

Yeah, being a single mom would be hard...glad I am not one. My BF doesn't help equally around the house...I don't feel like he does anyway I do most of the laundry, clean and cook half the time. We need a chore list...ugh. I am just very tired today and it would be nice to go on a 2 week all expense paid vacation....and paid by my BF not me

[girlnextdoornco]

Hey there Nicki ~
I have to say that I am so happy that you decided to choose life for your baby! Good for you! You mentioned that your parents are Christians and that you are embarrassed to let them know about this..and that you don't want to embarass them. Well, being a Christian myself, and being a mom to a twenty something daughter...I can tell you that if my daughter had a situation like yours, I would love on her and help her get all the support she needed to get back on track. While I don't know your parents, I bet they would love the opportunity to be there for you and their grandchild. I know you have your sister, which is great, but if you feel like you want to talk to somebody else about this...or have someone pray with you and for you...I happen to work for a Christian ministry called Focus on the Family. We have Christian counselors here that you can talk to over the phone. It's free..just call 1-855-771-4357. I'm saying a prayer for you now, Nicki. Please let us know how things work out for you. "Hugs"

[surfhb2]

Also....there's the economic disparity between the "old days" And now.

While incomes have gone up 4x, goods, services and real estate have increased at a much higher rate. Things are out of whack....for whatever reason that may be

Bottom line is that many more households require 2 incomes This wasn't always the case

[bcgirl]

^ yes good point. It's much harder now a days to make ends meet. When once upon a time women can afford to stay at home and not work but tend the house, now it's nearly impossible to not have 2 incomes if you have a family. And even in many cases two incomes is just enough to get by

[IndiReloaded]

Women need to be crafty, we need to make sure we save $$ for ourselves and we need to make sure we can survive without a man around...BUT I am just saying it would be nice to have a man take care of me so I didn't have to work

F.uck. No wonder men run from marriage.

I came from a long marriage where my ex wanted a wife at home to raise kids, babysit, cook, clean and generally be available to take care of him on his schedule. No matter that I had the same professional background as him. Sure, I could work, so long as it didn't interfere with his schedule. My needs were secondary to his. Now, years later, things didn't work out and I'm very glad I stayed in the work force.

Be very careful of this attitude Maple. Self-sufficiency = freedom and, in the end, we are all responsible for ourselves. Men don't owe women b/c we choose to bear children. Why wouldn't you want to work? Frankly, that just sounds lazy. Even wives of wealthy men get involved in "work" that is productive for society.

[rob1984]

Also....there's the economic disparity between the "old days" And now.

While incomes have gone up 4x, goods, services and real estate have increased at a much higher rate. Things are out of whack....for whatever reason that may be

Bottom line is that many more households require 2 incomes This wasn't always the case

also remember that in the old times, most of the world was rebuilding after the world wars, and the united states had no competition in regards to manufacturing and trade and kept it all in house, providing well paying jobs with lower prices. If i made enough cash I would not mind if the wife was a stay at home wife.. still a job.. cool,clean take care of kids.. those are all real professions anyway.. but she does have choices.

[michelle23]

Lol where i come from men and women work, look after babies and a home together. Modern men and women make a good team, they respect each other and marriage is about love these days-not money, property or land and most the people around me seem to have happy relationships because of all that.

I find it hard to believe that some women wana go back to the way things were where we wer told to jump and expected to say how high. Something wrong with some people..

[rob1984]

no one said to control them.. but I find a stay at home mom a profession.