What is he trying to do??

[Lulu]

My long distance boyfriend came to visit and stay with me at Christmas for about three weeks. He was a complete ass while here; asking strangers to sell him weed (which I don't smoke) and asking me for money to buy it cause he ran out, staying up until three am every night playing video games and not coming to bed with m- instead falling asleep on the couch, not wanting me to kiss him because of the "lipgloss (I) put on two hours ago" (which wasn't unusual for a woman), telling me to sit at the foot of the couch because I was always "all over him" and his stomach was full- only to call his dog onto his belly! We started to have sex one day- after a week and a half of not doing it- because I "was too noisy with my breathing and my daughter might hear" which I wasn't- and because his inguinal hernia was causing testicular pain. In the beginning of him initiated sex, we started and he suddenly pushed me off of him. I started to cry instantly cause it was so frustrating and offensive. I hadn't even been able to kiss him for over a week because it "might cause him to get an erection and could cause pain from his hernia". He asked what was wrong and I said I felt rejected. He said his dog was worried about me (while laying next to me) and wanted to comfort me. He got up and went downstairs to make breakfast....

When I finally dropped him off with his friend, he gave me a half hug goodbye. He called to make sure I made it home safe. I answered and said I did. I cut off contact for a few days. He texted asking if I was breaking it off and I said I felt like that was exactly what he wanted. He denied it but when I tried to call him one time after he never answered. He tried calling me a few weeks later but I was at work. I asked him to call again but he never did. I was so frustrated with the poor communication that I said if he couldn't call to please not text me anymore. Fast forward...j

Valentines Day he sends a card that says, "thinking of you... and wanting to wish you a happy valentines day"... no I love you or miss you or I was an idiot.. .and he just signed his name.

He isn't asking for me back- why send the card at all??? He was such a jerk to me. We did this long distance relationship for about a year and have known each other over two. We have even discussed marriage but nothing ever official. I just don't get it. Any ideas as to why he sent thecard or his bizarre behavior? We had always had a great sex life before and it was HIS IDEA to come here for Christmas....

[Lulu]

...anybody?

[bearz]

Well, as you already said, he is an ass. I wouldn't waste any more time with him, especially since it's just a long distance thing.

And he has a daughter?

[Lulu]

I have a daughter. I am just baffled as to why he came here if he was acting like that... and when we would have spats he said he didn't want to leave. And he still is sending a card! I don't get what he is thinking...hoping for some insight or at least a way to stop CARING about him. Having a hard time doing that despite everything.

[bearz]

What have you really gotten out of your relationship with him over the last 3 months? Have you made any real attempts to discuss this with him lately? Does he know that you are not happy at all?

[Lulu]

No because when I have asked him to call he hasn't. I don't want to beg or throw myself at him. I don't know if he wants me based on his actions... but then he sends a card. so confusing. I want to work it out but why wouldn't he call when I asked him to? He said initially that he didn't want to hear me dump him over the phone. Yet when I text that I still miss him he doesn't reply.

[bearz]

Ignore the card because that's the only thing you have gotten from him lately... no text, no phone call, nothing. If he doesn't communicate with you there is nothing to work out unfortunately.

[Lulu]

yeah. It just makes me sad that he just let's this go without a proper goodbye. Never once a conversation. Just a lame card and it makes me wonder because he said he has a job coming up close to where I live.. maybe he will get in contact randomly to "catch up" so he doesn't want to burn the bridge but doesn't want to close the chapter. Who knows.

[bearz]

I really don't know why he won't even talk to you. I'm a person who can't just leave things like that, I always want to talk about it and try to work things out. But we all are different.

I think it's time to tell him that you can't deal with this anymore and try to get some closure.

[Lulu]

That is the question that I am trying to answer for myself. If you guys have any idea as to what the hell he is thinking or doing, I would appreciate any answer.

[Boisdevie]

That is the question that I am trying to answer for myself. If you guys have any idea as to what the hell he is thinking or doing, I would appreciate any answer.

You're asking yourself the wrong question. THE question to ask yourself is 'am I happy with the relationship that I have with him'. If you are NOT happy then you try to change things to your satisfaction and IF that doesn't work then end the relationship. Quite simple really.