I'm confused and don't know what to do help!

[kaitlin629]

Hi, I have feelings for a guy I work with, we have been working together for nearly 2 years. He wasn't in a relationship when I started working there and due to a bout of sickness I had to have 3 and a half months of work, when I came back he had a girlfriend I was guttered. He split up with her over xmas and since then he has been showing signs that he likes me. He would maintain eye contact and smile and be very helpful. You could tell from what other people said at work that he was hurting over his girlfriend but I never saw him upset and his eyes would light up whenever he passed me or interacted with me at work. I was walking into work one day and he said "do you fancy going out on saturday" and I said "yeah ok" and he said "great i'l set it up and let you know where were all meeting".

I went out on the saturday and we were getting on well, we went into town and he, me and other people from work went to a club. I was having a good time and dancing and he tried to dance with me twice but I just ignored him. As the night went on I asked if I could speak to him and he said ok. I was drunk and told him I had feelings for him, he didn't say anything for a bit and I said do you like me and he said "I can't say if i do and can't say if I don't" I said ok and then he asked me to stop walking and said "I do have feelings for you too, but my life is so complicated at the moment, I just split up with my girlfriend and I thought we would get married and settle down, your beautiful with a good personality, and my heads totally messed up, do you really want to be with me" I said "yes" and he said it again and I said "yeah of course your great and good looking" he looked shy and said "I really don't see myself that way" I said "I didn't use to but now I do" and he said "You are, your very good looking" and then he said "I'l probably take you out in a couple of weeks". We and a few others went back to his house and he put a jacket over my shoulders as I was cold and stared into my eyes so intensley I had to look away and then I went home.

I had 3 weeks holiday off work so didn't see him and when I came back he invited me on another works night out. The second time we went to a club again and when we were in the queue he had his arm around me the whole time and bought me a rose. We got inside and he started dancing with me and we were very close, after we had stopped dancing he hugged me tightly for about 3 minutes and wouldn't let go.

When I got to work the next day one of our coworkers joked that he had seen the pictures of me and the guy I like and that we were very close and I stormed off as i'm very shy and he had been showing him pictures of us being close. He then was acting weird around me and going red. The day after at work, valentines day I might add. He was in a very bad mood and I thought it was because of me and I confronted him and he said it wasn't and that it was the anniversary of his sisters death. I felt awful and said how sorry I was but was on a roll now. I asked him if he liked me and he said "of course your lovely" and I said I really liked him, he looked confused and said my name and said "I just don't know". I said" its ok you can be honest with me if you don't feel the same way, I would rather know the truth and he said he was in a bad place right now and wasn't ready to date and that we work together and if it all went wrong it would be horrible for both of us at work and that he didn't want me to hurt him like he's been hurt before. He is a supervisor so I understood. I said I wasn't asking him for a relationship but just for us to go out for a drink on our own and get to know each other and take it slow. He looked into my eyes for ages and said "ok we can go for a drink and take it slow and get to know each other".

I went back to work and that was that. I admit I have been acting hot and cold with him since and he hasn't mentioned the drink. I'm very confused and would really appreciate any advice on this situation. Sorry its so long and thanks to anybody who listens to this.

[FlaCooln]

I think he just needs some time. From what you wrote he seems like a good guy. He just got out of a serious relationship and is also your supervisor. Tricky stuff. Give him time, he knows how you feel. Don't change how you act around him, keep being nice and when appropriate even flurty.

[bearz]

I'd agree with what FlaCooln said, just don't be needy and pushy. You both seem to like each other so give him some time and space, keep it casual for a bit and then take it slowly.