Unique inter-office situation that got weird- no idea what to do now

[Sloanmk]

Hey all,

Alright so it started at the xmas party at the beginning of Decemeber. I've been working for my company for only 3 months and she started only a month ago. We didn't really talk ever before but when it came time to sit for dinner the group that we were talking in wandered over to a table and sat, she sat beside me and I thought, hey the cute new gal is sitting beside me, whatevas. We talked a bunch but I didn't think twice till someone that was sitting at the table says, so you gonna make a move? I was like wattt I have a shot? After some more booze we're at a club dance and making out on the dance floor. Co-workers deefs noticed but with the booze in us we didn't care. I take her back to my place and we have our night together. In morning she wanted to peel right after she work up, I offered her a ride that was denied so cya later.

We talked on and off the week after and decided not to start anything before the holidays and also she was hitting the road for work till a bit after the new year. I was fine with that, sounded great, we texted on and off every couple of days.

Mid-Jan rolls around and I'm thinking alright lets trying hanging out now. Since we work in the same place in ask her out in person but realize- wow I am awful at asking out girls. I get all nervous and flulstered, didn't help that she's awkward in her own right too (but I'm cool with that). I tried a couple of times but it never seemed to work out. Eventually she tells me that I have an awkward vibe and to stop trying.

Now 4 weeks later, I'm still kicking myself for messing this up because somewhere down the line I ended up liking this gal, first girl that I've slept with that I actually "like" and would enjoy spending more time with. We talk casually at work still like nothing happened like we're just buds but I can tell sometimes that she doesn't want me talking to her.

Couple things to note, we don't care that the entire company (or most of) knows what happened cause we're the two youngest people in it and $hit happens with people in their 20s right. Also while we work in that same company/building we do very different things and on a normal week would maybe only even see each other 2 or 3 times- so I don't care trying something and it not work out. Also I'm more of the outgoing/friendly guy, she's a quiter but social enough alternative looking gal.

Finally my question is how can I make this work? I'm thinking more long-term at this point. Maybe avoid talking to her but show you're a fun guy when she's around and maybe she may think differently of me? Maybe just coming out saying- hey you made a mistake about me, I'm not awkward just nervous. Maybe just telling her everything inculding that I like her and see what happens (likely not).

I'm a quality guy chasing a one night stand essentially- I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been rejected chasing before but never kept thinking about it like this.

PLEASE ANYTHING WOULD BE GREAT. Thank you all very much.

[Woods]

I think the signals are that this was just a one night stand to her. If you've already tried asking her out and she's told you to cool it then how can you possibly be making plans for the long term? You're on totally different pages.

If you're so determined, I would ask her one, final and CLEAR time to go out for coffee or whatever and then listen very carefully to her response. As in, what she actually says, not how you want to interpret it because you like her. If she gives an excuse then you know she's not interested and it's time to move on. At least you can say you tried.

[michelle23]

It all happened too fast. She prob regrets the one night stand and doesnt see it going anywhere because it makes things awkward. Its like starting backwards.

A friend of mine had a one night stand once, instantly regretted it, didnt trust him anymore coz he was very forward, tried to date him for a week or two but couldnt shake that bad feeling in her gut. She was thinkin "he thinks im easy, prob just wants to use me for sex, hes prob a player who will hop into bed with anyone, he will cheat on me if we stay together etc. She had a million questions that she was too afraid to ask himso instead decided to end it.

Maybe this girl feels the same

[ashley89]

it was a one night stand, all the indications are there. she was drunk, you two messed around, it happens. she immediately left in the morning and didn't even want a ride, this is a big sign that it was just sex and she isn't interested in more. once the booze wore off she left. doesn't necessarily mean she regrets it, these things happen but it doesn't sound to me like she wants to hang out or date. I'd just leave it be and chalk it up to a drunken night of sex