How do I escape this???

[going.crazy]

What a position I have put myself in! I've been living and working in the Philippines now for almost 2 years. I met this girl while working on a project - she was a freelance writer. I am a programmer. I am American and she is a Filipina. I spent the summer of 2011 here, and after I went home and packed things up to come back and live here for a while. I do love it here in this country very much. The people are very kind and I am able to work on my projects. The cost of living is low, so live is relatively easy in that regard.

Problem. This woman I am involved in is a nightmare! There were MAJOR signs and red flags along the way that should have told me to run away fast. But I won't lie - there was an attraction there and it just pulled me along. I just wasn't thinking right. Anyway, she has two young children and was never married. when I met her, the youngest is just 6 months old. This also should have been a bit of a red flag. What happened with their father? I know very little about the guy.

We've been through numerous break-ups. She's left the house and stayed at parent's place several times. The longest separation was last Nov/Dec (2012) for just over one month. Like an IDIOT, I allowed her to come back. A month had passed and I really should have just let it all go.

I won't spend a a lot of time ripping her apart here, but she has stolen money from me, been dishonest, and she can be outright brutal with the disrespect. You name it and she has no problem saying it. She'll insult me, say terrible things about my daughter - who she doesn't even know! The last straw came 2 nights ago when she said just a hideous thing about her - and totally untrue. My daughter is 14 (15 in a couple months). I was upset because I had told her no boyfriends until she is 16. Well, I saw on Facebook she is in a relationship and her Mother told me it was harmless, etc. Well, obviously I was still not happy about it, but my daughter is living with her Mom right now and I am trying to trust her judgement (her Mom). So my GF says to me "I bet your daughter is ****ing that boyfriend of hers!!!" She said this because I scolded one of the kids for whining and then she said "oh your daughter is just perfect, right". She then proceeded to suggest she is having sex at 14. I was so furious, yet I stayed quiet. I figured "hell you're done now bitch!" Talk shit about my daughter and we are finished. All that coming from a woman who ****ed 6 guys before me, two were one-night stands! In the Philippines, ****ing 6 guys before marriage is REALLY bad. Most (well many) remain virgins until they marry or settle down with who they plan to marry. If her family knew how many guys she had sex with, they would freak out!

So, here I am and I don't know how to get rid of her. She's still in my house here. She said she wants to leave, and I said I have no problem with that idea. But like so many times, she doesn't ever do it. In fact, she usually will break down and cry and then I feel bad!!!! I know, I am an idiot!!! But, I can't help it. She tells a sob story so well, and says has nowhere to go and she has no money. But, she can stay with her family, and she is smart enough to work in the same capacity as she was when I met her.

Keep in mind also this woman has been violent with me in the past - usually when confronted with the idea of a split. That is why I am so reluctant to just tell her its over and kick her out. I really want her to just go on her own. If I initiate or it appears I am initiating it, she can get really violent. She has also threatened suicide and grabbed kitchen knives and shit. So, it could be dangerous.

I just leased a small office in town. It's actually just a townhouse style one bedroom apartment. I just started moving my work things there. I have a refrigerator and coffeemaker there as well as my desk, computer, etc. I could just leave and stay over there. But, of course I worry what she might do to my house or the things in it. What if she takes some valuable things? I suppose I could try to make an escape my locking the valuables in a room only I have the key to and then just bail. She does know where my office is though. I just need to get away from this woman though. I know this story probably sounds pathetic and all because why don't I just tell her its over and get out. You just don't understand. She becomes VERY violent and unpredictable. Physically, I could take her. But I could also land my ass in jail. Or she could grab a weapon and hurt me or one of her kids. She gets absolutely crazy when she goes into one of those fits of rage. In fact, I think she has BPD - but that's another topic.

I want my life back! I want to get away from this chic.

[michelle23]

She sounds mentally unstable or at the very least in need of anger management. You should drop her kids to her family and get her signed into temporary psychiatric care. You could arrange for a doctor to come and take her away. If she is a danger to herself or others-she needs help and she should not be your problem. They will sedate her and take her away so she can get the help she needs.

You can write her a letter explaining that you think its best if you both move on with your lives and go your separate ways. Her family will be there to support her and if you need to-you can move house so she doesn't know where to find you.

Ignore the nasty things she has said about your daughter-she obviously has problems. No healthy woman would do that. Best of luck to you.