Seeking advice about discovering a past incestual relationship.

[Wakeup]

Why are you so sure about that? You don't no her. She just found out the man she is about to marry has had this dirty secret for as long as shes known him and she never suspected a thing. Of course shes in shock and denial. Its a defense mechanism. This info is too big and she cannot cope with it right now. A perfectly normal reaction. I'm sure your sugar daddys wife would react the exact same way if she found out about you.

Well, none of us can be sure of anything... whether Op is in denial (or just too afraid to say anything and then not be able to get married?) nor can we be sure that Nikki's sugar daddy's wife would react the exact same way. (perhaps his wife knows about nikki?)

[michelle23]

I doubt it. If she did shed be smart enough to divorce the prick and take half his millions unless shes a doormat.

[michelle23]

Anyway this thread is not about nikki. She already got her spot on center stage.

[Wakeup]

Yes, well my post wasn't about nikki, (although I did use her as an example in it to anchor my point that no one can be sure of anything when it comes to threads. It's all based on speculation, which we're all intitled to voice our own slant on. I suppose using the word "doubt" (like in: I doubt Lisa is in denial would be the same as "I doubt his wife knows"

Take care.

[bcgirl]

There are always ppl's assumptions and interpretations to every story and then there is the truth. We on the forum are just hearing little snippets of the story that Lisa is describing to us. None of us here saw the video, nor do we even know if Lisa watched the whole video or turned it off right away (thus if a third party was involved in that particular video we wouldn't know). Just like any case in court when convicting someone, you need to look at ALL the evidences. Obviously we don't know the fiancées side of the story because wife to be is not questioning. It reminds me of that movie "mystic river" when the wife starts to believe her hubby killed a young girl yet never questions her hubby because she is so scared and lacks normal communication skills. Good movie.

[sheely]

I am surprised at the amount of rude and sarcastic comments on here, and how many people presume this guy is a pedophile, and a potential murderer!

I think, Lisa, tread the subject carefully. Don't be accusing, just inquisitive. If you know in your heart this is a nice guy and you love him, I don't think this should change your view. Not until you've spoken to him and see how he handles it and what he says. Good luck, you are in a hard situation that not many people find themselves in and I think you deserve a lot of support. I don't know what I'd do if I was you, I'm surprised so many people on here would choose their route so quickly, especially if it involves putting the man they love behind bars.

[smackie9]

They were just horny teenagers sure, and at that age sexual curiosity is normal, but what is disturbing is his need to keep revisiting him and his sister having sex with all those video and pictures that he has kept for all those years. There is something to be alarmed about. Before you make any decisions I suggest couples counseling, because this is something he hasn't left in the past.

[smackie9]

Thought I would post this.....

Consensual incest is a dodgy topic. The age of consent generally being between 16-18, there are questions raised about consensuality when relatives might have the power to coerce each other subtly. While it's hard to justify legal restrictions for consenting adults, the reasons for it are obviously cultural and visceral.

The law is double sided with this issue, giving wealthy incestuous families leniency compared to poorer families. Never mind traditional royalty - you can find genetic connections amongst many American political dynasties, and even between American and British elite. It might be gross, it might be unseemly, but it is natural, it has happened, and will continue to happen.

Given that punishment for adult, consensual sex is giving way (be it incest, prostitution, homosexuality, etc) to decriminalization, it seems logical that adult consensual incest will follow the same path. It is not worth the time and effort to enforce laws that force otherwise law abiding people to be denied their freedom.

Addition:
Sex does not equal children - there is a thing called contraception. I agree that children should not be created from a union that is more likely to cause genetic issues. But you cannot deny these facts: it's been going on for centuries, our royal families are still around, and it's going to continue. It's like pot smoking, polyamory, and drinking - you might not like it, you might think it's unnatural and dangerous, but people have been doing it since before we created language or laws, for thousands of years literally, and you can't expect people to stop doing something humans have been doing our entire existance, just because you legally prohibit it.

[bcgirl]

I think Lisa is long gone

[Wakeup]

Given that punishment for adult, consensual sex is giving way (be it incest, prostitution, homosexuality, etc) to decriminalization

do you have a link to show that that is the case, Smackie? I can see what you're saying with regards to prostituion and homosexuality but I've not read or seen any laws/punishment giving way as far as incest is concerned.

[michelle23]

lisa is not coming back here. she feels as if she is being judged

[Wakeup]

So what, we don't need Lisa to be here at the point All we're doing now is having a discussion about the topic of incest. If she wants to creep what we're saying then she can, if she doesn't want to creep, then that's her perogative as well. Lisa has been given all the advise she needs to make an informed decision. Whether she takes it or not is entirely up to her.

[bcgirl]

Incest has a higher probability to cause birth defects, thus should be avoided. Just like a pregnant mother shouldn't abuse drugs. Because of the fact that incest has a high risk of birth defects, it has become taboo. It's looked down upon in our society making it morally wrong to commit such an act.
In government housings for welfare families etc...a brother and sister can not share the same bedroom. A father and his young kids can not share the same bedroom either. A friend of mine is a single father with a young girl and boy. He has to pay for a 3 bedroom apartment.