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Thread: I am in a situation that is quite hard to figure out.

  1. #1
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    I am in a situation that is quite hard to figure out.

    Hi!

    I am a girl who have fallen in love with a guy who is doing the same activity at the same club as me.
    We met each other for almost a year ago, and we quickly became friends. I started to get feelings for that guy two months ago or something like that.

    Two weeks ago, he told me that he was going to be away for 4 months, he is going to educate at some kind of... It's still not clear what he is going to educate himself to during those 4 months but anyways... Those news crushed me. But, he told me that at some weekends, he were free, so that we could hang out sometimes.

    Four days later we met again, that day was his last day at our activity before he is going to do his education-thing. He told me that we could hang out on a Saturday, so we decided that I am going to his place watching some movies together.

    When Saturday arrived, we met and hugged each other like we use to do everytime we meet each other. We went to his place, and started to watch movies.

    I am going to make this kinda short, but he sat quite near me, then he took my hand, and then we kissed each other.

    So that day I found out that he also had feeling for me too. That day was the best day of my life.

    Now to the problem. We are not going to see each other for over 2 weeks till his first free-time-weekend-thing starts. And the biggest problem (in my opinion) between us is the communication. I don't want to seem like a needy girl, but I don't want to let it all die out. I want to text him often, but I try to stay away from that and text him not too often (is 2-3 times a week good enough?). I also think that I could call him once a week, or is that too often?
    I am also afraid that something might change during the time we are away from each other, like that his feelings starts to die out, and he don't want to be with me anymore. Is that possible that it could happen?
    And also, if I rarely communicate with him, could he stop liking me?

    Oh and also, he told me that it was OK that I text him often, just that he won't respond as often as before. If I want to talk with him, I could just call him.
    But I do not see that as "you can spam me messages, and you can call me everyday". I still try to limit myself.

    To be clear, my questions:

    How often should I text and call him without being annoying and needy?
    Is it possible that his feelings die during the time we are away from each other?
    Is it possible that his feelings die if I rarely communicates with him?

    How am I feeling now? I am kinda down, and I am worried about... Well, the questions above, plus I want to meet him again so badly...

    I know that my text isn't detailed, if you want more clear details or such, just tell me. I tried to make this as short as possible so it wasn't dead boring to read.
    And also, sorry for any grammar mistakes. English isn't my first language.
    Last edited by Terimaaa; 20-03-13 at 03:59 AM.

  2. #2
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    I think if its gonna be long distance for 4months-you should wait till he comes back to start a relationship. You dont really no each other and it will be difficult to communicate and trust each other.

    Tell him if ur both still single when hes finished his education thing-ud like him to take u on a date. Dont wait around for him tho. Just forget it for now and if u meet again-great.

    I just think therl be too much confusion, mixed signals and drama if u start something now

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    I think if its gonna be long distance for 4months-you should wait till he comes back to start a relationship. You dont really no each other and it will be difficult to communicate and trust each other.

    Tell him if ur both still single when hes finished his education thing-ud like him to take u on a date. Dont wait around for him tho. Just forget it for now and if u meet again-great.

    I just think therl be too much confusion, mixed signals and drama if u start something now
    What you just said sounds so true... I think I should just meet him when we can, and after his education we can start something, otherwise it will be too much comfusion, mixed signals and drama, just like you said.

    Thank you, that really helps out.

  4. #4
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    Your welcome. If u want a serious lasting relationship its better to start it when u both have adequate time for each other and it sounds like hes gonna be kinda busy for awhile so save urself some stress and wait till he has all that stuff sorted

  5. #5
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    Dear just tell him how you feel. And really all you have to do is ask him if he would like you to keep in contact. There is nothing wrong with skyping when he has some free time. I don't see why you have to completely cut yourself off from him for 4 months. There are a lot of relationships that develop over the internet, and in reality 4 months isn't that long. When you text him or whatever, just play it by ear......the interest in texting may just increase as time goes on.

    You want to get rid of the stress of this unknowing with him? Just talk to him about it.....I bet he'll be happy about it.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    Your welcome. If u want a serious lasting relationship its better to start it when u both have adequate time for each other and it sounds like hes gonna be kinda busy for awhile so save urself some stress and wait till he has all that stuff sorted
    See that's exactly the problem with today's "relationships". You should always have time for your relationship, not have it when it suits you, like some accessory. It will not happen when you decide you are ready. A real relationship comes as a chance in your live and you had better respond, because it's not going to wait for you to make up your mind.

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