Now what :(

**princesspeach** · 24-03-13, 02:03 AM

Okay, so I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now. We're both 18. A while back, we were having problems with him constantly blazing and not thinking about his future and even treating me like shit and taking me for granted. He would go out with his friends and tell me AFTER the fact, but expected me to tell him BEFORE I went. And if he didn't want me to go, I would respect his decision and our relationship enough so I just wouldn't go. His argument for not telling me was " You're just gonna bitch at me anyway" .... He just wouldn't call me like he used to and talk to me like he used to and he would put everyone before me .. making me his last priority. After I got fed up, I broke up with him. Something triggered him to change after, he begged for me back. At first, I didn't want to be that girl that keeps going back to her boyfriend hoping he'll change... but something about the way he was saying everything was DIFFERENT.. like for once in his life, he was realizing something. So, knowing that I may be disappointed, i gave him another chance. He changed his lifestyle up. He stopped blazing, he started to look into his future, and he made me such a huge priority. For the first time in a long time, I felt like he was treating me like when we first got together. I can see him changing his attitude towards life, BUT it's only been 2 weeks.. keep that in mind. So I'm still skeptical. Yesterday, we were supposed to hang out but some stuff happened and he pretty much bailed on me to chill with his friends.. THEN, knowing how upset I was, he went out last night ... and didn't tell me until after. I called him last night, he answered, I heard music, and then he hung up. This morning, he told me he went out and didn't want to tell me cause I would "bitch". I'm mad. Very very mad. It's like he went and broke every promise he made me, IN ONE NIGHT. He knows I'm mad but thinks it's stupid of me to be mad because it's apparently not a big deal.. I seriously don't know what to do. I love him SO much, but I feel like he's just going to continue to walk all over me. But at the same time, he's showing signs of change slowly ... I don't know whether to just end things once and for all .. or wait a bit longer. I don't know what to do, I just feel like screaming at this frustration

I know we're young, but this is my first relationship .. he's literally my first everything. And he means the world to me. But I don't want to be with someone that will walk all over me for the rest of my life .. but at the same time I feel like he can change. I don't know .. I'm beyond frustrated now. I don't know what to do

**basilandthyme** · 24-03-13, 04:00 AM

Princesspeach, of course he can change. We can all change anything we want to change. But your guy DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE.

If you don't want to be with someone who will walk over you, then leave him. There are plenty of great guys out there - don't settle with a broken one.

**princesspeach** · 24-03-13, 05:19 AM

I know that I probably should, but it's like I keep holding on to the "what if" .. He's changed so much in regards to his attitude about school and everything and I keep thinking that maybe I'm just over-reacting over this, but then maybe I'm not.. I honestly just think that I can't deal with the aftermath that comes with a breakup, seeing as I've never been through one before. And it's not even like it's breaking up with someone I've been dating a couple months. It's three and a half long, loving years. It's so hard to think of my life WITHOUT him, since he's been there through all of the changes I've gone through as I've changed and grown up as a person... I'm scared of having a life without him I guess

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 06:24 AM

I dont mean to sound cynical but you and he were v young when you met. Hes changed a lot in the past 3years and will prob continue to change for the next 3. You both just turned 18 and its actually quite normal not to want such a serious relationship at your age. He cant even be honest with you. He feels trapped and lies to go out coz he thinks u dont approve. A breakup is likely on the way so be prepared. Its highly unlikely that youll marry him or stay together forever. Your both unhappy. Its prob best to end it so you can both grow up without being tied down and do all the things you want to do now while your young.

Hes frustrated and he wants freedom so let him go

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 06:26 AM

And please dont think im only saying all that coz ur young. Im only 23 but i have changed ALOT since i turned 18. Everything changes once you finish school and start college

**princesspeach** · 24-03-13, 06:30 AM

Thats the thing though! It's like every time I mention breaking up... he does everything to make it not happen. I feel like maybe he's just used to me and wants me around, but at the same time he wants his freedom to do everything else. He doesn't want to break up AT ALL. I try letting him go, but he doesn't want to.. it's so damn frustrating

**princesspeach** · 24-03-13, 06:31 AM

Yeah I know that I'm still young, I completely understand that a lot changes as we grow older.. but it's still just so hard being in this situation

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 07:06 AM

He cant have it both ways. Hes lying to you a lot. Are u sure hes not messing around with other girls? I dknt understand y he wouldnt just tell u "im going out tonight" and y doesnt he ask u to join him sometimes? If he cant be honest with you-its not a healthy relationship and until he grows up and learns notto lie -he shouldnt be in a relationship.

I think u need to put ur foot down and just tell him its over and no going back. Your going around in circles-theres too much drama and you both need to experience dating others and spending time with friends etc

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