how do you know when its over???

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 07:58 AM

ok so im in a relationship and its been for several years almost 6 to be exact. i need to know how do you know when its over or close to being over what are signs because things have been happening for example hes been so selfish only thinking about himself or whats important to him and also he is a big mama's boy he does everything for her but does nothing for me for a long time now. lately its been worse.

**Chip123** · 24-03-13, 08:05 AM

I think you've answered it yourself there. You recognize the negatives and they take precedent over the positive.

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 08:06 AM

i think i just keep trying to hold on for some reason. idk maybe im afraid of confrontation or being hurt or hurting someone else but i know people dont change. your right tho i am not happy right now

**Chip123** · 24-03-13, 08:10 AM

Same situation as me. You want to let go, you know its for the best, but can't. There's that something holding you there. Maybe the thought that if you leave, you'll never know it it was going to get better. Or scared of hurting thr other person, no matter how much less you feel for them, you can't hurt them. The not knowing is a big part, it may get better yes, but for every day its not better ts gets worse

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 08:16 AM

yes that is very true. i feel like ive always invested so much more in the relationship if he gave a little more it would be different maybe im hoping for more thats never going to happen. i do love him and we have been through a lot together i feel like its hard to just imagine not being with him. but your right its the part of not knowing. im in my mid 20's and i want to start settling down and with him that may not be possible if he's making me feel this way

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 08:16 AM

Please give more info. How has it been from the start? How old are you both? When did it start to go downhill? Give examples of y ur unhappy?

We cant give u good advice with knowing more.

U must be good together to survive 6years. It might just be a rough patch?

**Chip123** · 24-03-13, 08:22 AM

I'm 22 and feeling pretty much the same. I feel like I've put so much into the relationship but get nothing back. Its hard to imagine been without them, but you can't be happy with them. As the other poster said if you've been together 6 years there must be something there, You need to work out if its love or just familiarity, as with familiarity comes safety, but not always happiness

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 08:26 AM

were mid 20's meaning 25/26 we have been on and off for the past 6 years. from the start it was really good then there was an incident involving him that he did and we went on a break for a while. during that break i didnt see anyone else but he did we always found our way back to each other it was always like a magnet pulling each other towards the other. the reason i am unhappy is because he is so selfish he only is concerned with him he constantly breaks promises, always more concerned with doing things for himself, never does anything i want to do while i always compromise and do whatever he wants to do, hes rebuilding a car and he spends 24/7 either on the phone or internet looking for parts or talking to people on forums about this car basically paying all of his attention to that. also whenever we do something his mom comes with us. he is a big mama's boy and she pays for everything and she always tags along

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 08:42 AM

Look up co-dependency. It is obviously unhealthy. I think u should break up with him.

Was that thing he did cheating? If yes-defo dump him

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 09:56 AM

he did a lot of lying and hanging out with other girls and when i would ask him to hang out i would get excuse after excuse. im getting that now again. he has time for everything else in his life but me it seems like lately and i for one am getting sick of it

**michelle23** · 24-03-13, 10:13 AM

Why are you being a doormat? 6years putting up with this crap! U have wasted 6years on a man that you cat trust. Is your self-esteem that low youll let him walk all over you? How many chances are u gonna give him? You will never be ae to trust him. Hes prob been cheating on you since day one and he has no respect for you. Hes laughing at you.

Also he will never stand on his own two feet, never take responsibility, never man up and grow a pair coz hes tied to mamas apron strings. Men with such a dysfunctional relationship with their mother will never be a man coz all their life they have been mollycoddled and treated like a baby, a spoiled brat and they are selfish

**pepperanne1016** · 24-03-13, 10:22 AM

my self esteem is not low i just dont like confrontation and i dont like hurting people i know that i dont deserve to be treated like that i think that a part of it is that i am just afraid of starting over. i am a people pleaser and i admit it i do things for everyone else but myself. for the past at least 2 years its been different i dont think he has been cheating and i have been trusting him.

he does depend on his mommy to much and he will never leave her side because she pays for everything thats how she gets what she wants also

**Boisdevie** · 24-03-13, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by pepperanne1016

i am just afraid of starting over.

I think I would prefer being single to being treated like a cunt. How about you?

**srami83** · 24-03-13, 09:53 PM

Run away from this relationship....seriously! He treats you this way because you stay or you come back. People like this need a wake up call, and perhaps breaking up with him for good is the wake up call. You're 25/26. You have a lot of life ahead of you to find "the one". Love cannot exist if there isn't mutual respect and trust. He has neither for you and I'm not sure how you could have much for him. Never date someone hoping for them to change. You accept how things are and if you don't you can talk to them and let them know your feelings. They can either change on their own, or not. It's up to you to decide whether you will accept them for who they are.

**bearz** · 24-03-13, 10:47 PM

I remember your previous two forums threads and there are many issues in your relationship, especially when it comes to your boyfriend's life, that are major road blocks. If it's even worse now than it was a week ago, then you already know the answer to your question. Do you even still consider him as your boyfriend when you take everything he is and isn't doing into consideration?

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