Is it to soon to label our relation????

[Lissy0404]

So a bit of background. 3 Months ago my 3 year boyfriend dump me, after he cheat on me with several girls, and got one pregnant. I still trying to move on, and get over all the damage he did. However, since valentines, I had being talking-having sex- and going out with a very sweet guy. I'm obviously very attracted to him, and the sex is great! He just go out of a relationship too. At the beginning he told me he was not seeing anybody else, and I told him the same. He said he needed it time to figure out what happen in his previous relationship, and so I said the same thing. A few weeks ago, he told me during a conversation, that he was glad that we were not labeling our relation. So I agree again.

The issue now is, I like him. I haven't smile in a long time, and this guy makes me smile often, feel good about myself, and is very sweet to me. Sometimes, however, I feel he is seeing other girls, or that he tries to keep distance from me. However, he does says very often I miss you, and he is the one who always calls first. Last night I stay over for the first time. Everything was about cuddling, and sweet kisses.

I'm confuse, and I like him I do. Should I talk to him? Or is it to soon? Should I said how I feel?

Please help...

[ashley89]

talk to him about it, the only way to find out where you stand with him is to communicate your feelings to him. this way you'll know for sure if he wants to be exclusive or not. what makes you think he's seeing other girls?

[Lissy0404]

Thank you ashley89. Well at the beginning he called all the time, and text me a lot. A few weeks ago, he started texting less, and calling less. At a point it has being days he hasn't call at all. Of course there is always a sweet text. Two saturdays he has made excuses to not go out, however, the following day he has take to dinner or out. Is hard to tell what he wants or thinks. He doesn't talk to much about his feelings. Is confusing, sometimes I think that because I got cheat I'm just not trusting this guy. He stills mention his ex. Not often, but last night after dinner he talked about her. Which obviously bother me.

[cool hwhip]

Looks like he is not ready for another serious and heart and mind consuming experience yet. Love is great, but if it just recently hurt him, he may be taking it easy for the next little while. Dating, exploring, figuring out what he wants and who is the best woman to commit. don't forget things didn't work out before so he is just being extra careful with his feelings now. I'd say give him space, and DO NOT run after him, play smart as you guys just started dating ....you seem to be sweet and loving girl/woman but might need to learn not to give in into the "sweet kisses and cuddling" too fast. Good luck!

[michelle23]

I think you should take a good look at yourself and try to figure out WHY you let your ex treat you so bad. Why weren't you the one dumping him after the cheating? You need to know you are worth more than that and dont allow someone to hurt you before you will ever be ready for a healthy relationship with a man who respects you and has empathy for your feelings.

You are definitely not ready for a new relationship. You need to work on your self.

[Lissy0404]

Thank you coolhwhip.

[Lissy0404]

Thank you Michelle23. I think you are right. I'm not ready for anything yet. Even when I had figure out many of the reasons I let him treat me so awfully, I guess i need time to fix each of them. And as cool hwhip said maybe this new guy is taking time to figure out things on his own too.

[bearz]

You are both each other's rebounds right now. You enjoy the company of each other because it is something new, different, and exciting. But as others have already said, you both aren't ready to commit to another relationship yet.

[Lissy0404]

Thank you Bearz. It is a very exciting moment, and we are having so much fun together. I guess enjoying things we didn't before with our previous relationships.

[michelle23]

Work on your self-esteem and your self-worth and never allow a man to treat you like that again. You can do better!

[Lissy0404]

Thank you Michelle. I did made stupid choices by believing and loving a man who didn't love me in return. He fool me and my family in the most horrible way. I do need to fin myself again, and who I can be now he is not in my life.

Thanks for all the comments.

[michelle23]

Your welcome. Consider some counselling if you feel you need it to improve your self-worth and dont get into anything too serious just yet until your learn to be independent and not to take any crap from anyone

[Lissy0404]

Definitely! Thanks

[VerticalMoon]

If you want a relationship with a guy, it's generally not a good idea to sleep with him until you've gotten one. You're kind of setting yourself up for a situation where it'd be easy for somebody to use you. Because when you start sleeping with someone, you start to feel more emotionally attached to them. If the other person just wants to use you for sex, it makes it too easy for them to string you along. You also haven't taken the time to get to know the person you're dealing with, so they may have other flaws as well, which will be harder to spot once you've gotten emotionally attached. Everybody needs to watch out for this, but especially if you have a history of getting involved with a jerk. Since you say you're not ready for another relationship yet, it's probably better off to stop seeing this guy altogether until you are. But if and when you do want to continue things with him, I'd suggest you stop sleeping with him and see if he still sticks around.