I need help

[Joynikose]

Hi, I recently broke up with my ex and after 2 months found out he actually cheated on me since Dec,2012 with his colleague, A. And after they secretly went out for dates, and with the sweet talk of my ex, A thought she found true love and dumped her bf of 4 years to start an underground relationship with my ex. She told my ex it should be ok for girls to cheat because all these while only men cheats, why can't women do the same, so they embark on their journey of 'roller coaster love affair' lol. I only found out about this whole cheating early this month, and all the while he's still lying that he still loves me and will always call me and text me, until i feel so digusted by his action and asked him to stop harassing me or else i'll expose his 'secret', so he stopped calling and texting. Only once a week and never call me anymore.

Long story short, why is he still keeping a relationship/friendship with me when he's already dating this new gf for 4 months?! What is his real intention???He is an Indian, A is a malay lady and I'm a chinese. Do you think he really will want to convert to Muslim just for the sake of getting married?! Because they're so passionate about each other and the urge to have sex is strong so they are looking forward to rush into marriage i think.

How to get over the break up and move on with my life? I'm already 29, and not a sociable person... that's my biggest fear... I might find anyone who will genuinely loves me.

[michelle23]

You did the right thing breaking up with this asshole! Tell him not to contact you again and move on with your life. You will get over him.

[smackie9]

Aw I'm so sorry Joynikose, the hurt must be so awful. You may feel so rejected, and lost, but you need to know this was none of your fault. You may not be a sociable person, but you could encourage family or a close friend to help you with meeting new suitors. I know you are gutted, and not in any real mood to be dating, but you can try to find a nice activity to do, or go out shopping or see a movie with a friend. Find something to get you out of the house or invite people from work for a meal. Little by little you will find your way. You are welcome here any time if you seek other advice or just to talk, we will be here

[michelle23]

Sorry for my hasty reply earlier. I was in a rush but now i can reply properly.

You had a lucky escape here with this man. He treated you like crap in the end and you deserve better than that and are worth more.

You will meet someone else who will genuinly love you. Of course you will! When you are ready to date again you can ask friends to set you up on blind dates or try online dating and we can help you here to suss them out to make sure there genuine. It will be a lot of fun for you when the time is right and you have a lot to look forward to.

Smackie is right. Join a few hobbies. Meet new people. Keep busy and focus on yourself. Block the loser ex from your phone and ignore him completely from now on. You dont owe him anything and he will regret this eventually and feel like a total ass but you can stick your fingers up at him and tell him its his loss!

[Ann S]

Hi Joynikose: Why is he still keeping a relationship/friendship with you? Because YOU allow it! In order for him to interact with you, YOU have to return texts, answer the phone, or communicate a response to him in some way! Why?
And this is NOT a trustworthy guy! He cheated on you! Where are YOUR boundaries?
I think you are saying that because you are, "not a sociable person," that you have to settle for a loser like him. Well, you don't!
Join groups, try new things. Don't settle! If you do, you won't be happy....you'd be happier being single. This IS TRUE! Ann