Hello

[pengie]

Hello,

24yr old Male. I am here trying to figure out both love as well as myself.
I think I am a little different in that I know immediatly upon meeting whether I will love a woman or not. I have never been able to grow into love with someone which is why majority of my relationships have failed. It has nothing I to do with physical appearances, nor a specific type. This has only happened to me 5 times in my life.

The first, I'm not entirely sure actually qualifies as I was too young to fully understand what was happening and only believe it is what happened. That particular one was a girl who I played with on the playground, who eventually moved away. I don't recall much about her other than always being happy around her, and the sadness of when she moved.

The second was a girl I was in class with, I expressed my feelings and she turned me away. Later we became friends again but never went past that. Shortly after becoming friends again I moved and have not had any contact since.

The third, another girl I was in class with. A few years later. Never told her anything, we eventually became friends and even went to prom together as such. The summer after I moved away, and lost contact for several years. Eventually we came back into contact, by that time she had a family and we are friends once again. Meeting her later on I did not have the same feelings, I am unsure if this was result of her being unavailable or if I had moved on.

The fourth, I met through my friend I would usually play "wingman" for. He was on a date with her sister at the time. We dated for about 2 weeks while in another country, we all happened to be there at the same time. We kept in contact for about a year after, until she admitted that while she did enjoy the time with me, she was not in love with me.

The fifth, I met through friends. I later found out that she was attracted to me upon our first meeting as well. For several months we were both very shy around each other, an unusual trait for me. Our friends were able to see the way we both were, and more or less set us up on our first date. We had a very good relationship for the next two years, when she decided to end it. We are still very good friends and keep in regular contact. I do still feel the same way towards her, but I try not to as I understand that we can not be together again.

I have had several relationships that resulted from a woman's interest in me, these one-sided relationships often ended badly. Usually the woman screaming some variation of how I'm a heartless bastard. I try to avoid these types of relationships as we often start out as friends, which makes me feel bad when they result in such. I feel even worse in the times that I have turned down such women's advances and lose the friendship anyway.

So that is a basic summation of my love life, I am trying to understand how it works for me. I feel as though I am too close to the subject to get an objective view so I would like any help that you may be able to offer.

[AdminOnline]

Hello pengie, welcome aboard. Enjoy your visits.

[pcmaster]

Hi, Pengie, welcome to loveforum !

[michelle23]

Maybe you are just in love with the idea of love and your not sure what you want in a woman? Have you taken time to think about the qualities/personality traits that are important to you?

The next time you instinctively know you like someone-ask her out instead of waiting months and months out of shyness.