When you want your husband's sister's man

[LadyInRed]

I love my husband but we are having many difficulties and are not very happy together. With regards to the other man, I have always felt comfortable around him and enjoyed his company. We have a lot in common, more than what I have with my husband and he does with his wife. I have always kind of had a thing for him, but I thought that he didn't feel the same so I just left it at that. Then the other day at a mutual friends party, I learnt that he is in fact, very interested in me too. We kissed and touched very briefly as both our partners were just on the other side of the house.

Since then I cannot think of anyone or anything else. We have recently spoke and he said that we must forget about it and keep our relationship the way it was, as good friends and it isn't that he doesn't want me but it can cause so many things to happen. I don't know, what I must do. I cannot stop thinking of him and I feel so terrible too. I love his wife, she is like a real sister to me and I love my husband but right now, I want him more than anything.

[pcmaster]

Spring hormones starting to kick in. Kats are getting active too.

[mimiko]

Quit it now before the situation getting worse.
No point to waiting for it.

[LadyInRed]

Spring hormones starting to kick in. Kats are getting active too.

I live in South Africa, we are going for winter not spring.

[pcmaster]

I think you just have to talk to him more. In front of other people. Once you understand him better and know what he is all about the mystery will be gone. Basicaly thats how guys end up in friendzone.

[LadyInRed]

I think you just have to talk to him more. In front of other people. Once you understand him better and know what he is all about the mystery will be gone. Basicaly thats how guys end up in friendzone.

The thing is there is no mystery. Me and husband spend a lot of time with him and his wife. I know him very well and we are already really good friends and do a lot of things together. Just now, after 3 years of knowing him and always having a crush on him, I find out he feels the same and I find myself feeling much more for him.

I also know all the bad things about him, from own experience and from what his partner tells me.

[michelle23]

I suggest you stop this silly game right now. Get marriage counselling and put all that thought and effort into your husband (the man you married, promised to be faithful to and promised to love and cherish forever)

All you are craving is some excitement because life at home is difficult. Its just an escape from reality and it will end very badly. You will regret it if you take this further. It is a delusion and a fantasy and there is probably a 1% chance that you and he would be happy together. He already has his life mate and you have yours. If you trade them in for each other-it will just be a rebound and youll both want to run back but you wont be able to. It is lust with the other man and that is all it will ever be so stop it now.

[pcmaster]

Ask his partner how good he is in bed. Once you know that Then there will be no mystery.

[LadyInRed]

I suggest you stop this silly game right now. Get marriage counselling and put all that thought and effort into your husband (the man you married, promised to be faithful to and promised to love and cherish forever)

All you are craving is some excitement because life at home is difficult. Its just an escape from reality and it will end very badly. You will regret it if you take this further. It is a delusion and a fantasy and there is probably a 1% chance that you and he would be happy together. He already has his life mate and you have yours. If you trade them in for each other-it will just be a rebound and youll both want to run back but you wont be able to. It is lust with the other man and that is all it will ever be so stop it now.

Yes I understand exactly what you are saying. I have never given up putting in effort into my marriage and we are unhappily married for over 2 years already and going to a marriage counsellor is something you will have to convince my husband to do not me and I think our relationship is beyond repair seeing as we no longer live in the same house anymore. This is the 1st time I have had thoughts of another man. I have had many offers from other men and I have always turned them down, no matter how terrible my life with my husband has been. This however is very different and I do not feel that it is lust.

[Wakeup]

Spring hormones starting to kick in. Kats are getting active too.

Yes, rutting season, ya know.

[michelle23]

Yes I understand exactly what you are saying. I have never given up putting in effort into my marriage and we are unhappily married for over 2 years already and going to a marriage counsellor is something you will have to convince my husband to do not me and I think our relationship is beyond repair seeing as we no longer live in the same house anymore. This is the 1st time I have had thoughts of another man. I have had many offers from other men and I have always turned them down, no matter how terrible my life with my husband has been. This however is very different and I do not feel that it is lust.

So your marriage is over and you no longer live together. Fine. Get a divorce! but what gives you the right to wreck your sister in laws marriage? Her husband already told you he is not interested. He doesn't want to hurt his wife and you need to respect that.

If you are no longer with your husband-Im guessing you wont see your sister in law or her husband much from now on so get on with your life and meet a man who is available.

[michelle23]

I dont think anyone here is going to give you their approval to go after this man. Your wasting your time. You will not be told what you want to hear so take your head out of your ass and get real. How would you feel if someone did this to you?

Its bad enough having an affair with a stranger-but shitting on your own doorstep is ten times worse.

[pcmaster]

Its bad enough having an affair with a stranger-but shitting on your own doorstep is ten times worse.

This reminds me of a girl who was masturbating in her kitchen in front of BF work buddies. We laughted at poor guy in work for a long time.

If you want your man to be laughted at than go on have sex with his bro on the doorstep.

[LadyInRed]

I dont think anyone here is going to give you their approval to go after this man. Your wasting your time. You will not be told what you want to hear so take your head out of your ass and get real. How would you feel if someone did this to you?

Its bad enough having an affair with a stranger-but shitting on your own doorstep is ten times worse.

Hey, I don't think you quite understand what I am asking. A) Me and my husband are still together just things are hanging on by a thread and I love my husband very much B) I don't want any approval to do anything because I don't want to do anything C) We only kissed once. D) I am asking for advice to get over him, because I can't stop thinking of him and how to go on normal because I see him all the time and do I tell him how I feel? He doesn't know how I feel. He thinks I just kissed him in the moment because he kissed me.

I also just wanted help in understanding what I am feeling. You make it sound like I am horrible person, when I am actually a really good person that unfortunately is feeling something that I shouldn't and unfortunately I cannot help it

[michelle23]

You are unhappy in your marriage. You see this man as the answer to your problems-hes not. If it wasn't him you are obsessing over it would be someone else. Your looking for an escape from reality. You are infatuated by him. That is all. You felt that way about your husband when you first met him too. You need to focus on fixing your marriage and ask your husband to go for counselling.

Why is your marriage so rocky?