Men

[vashti]

I genuinely don't believe that he would ever hurt his son. He isn't like that. Women yes. But he's not that sick.

And what about your son's future (female) friends? Can he be trusted around teenage girls? It doesn't sound like it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yes but the kid could grow up to be just as bad as him. I wouldn't want him near my child. Hes a bad influence. He has no self-respect and no respect for women. It is wrong for a little boy to grow up thinking its normal behavior when its not.

And what about your son's future (female) friends? Can he be trusted around teenage girls? It doesn't sound like it.

You're both ridiculous. As Starnique pointed out, the guy has done nothing illegal nor put the child in danger. So what he likes to bang a lot of women, there's no law against that, and in Brazil its par for the course. A healthy respect for women is not a requirement of being for being a father, and it's insane you don't think he should be able to raise his son. He's shown no signs of abuse nor has he shown signs of an interest in underage girls. Pretty sure she would've mentioned if she found kiddie porn or something. This woman has no right to try and take this man's son from him. It's not like he's going train the kid to search for girls online, and like earlier arguments, even if he does that's not illegal.

Jen, you'll probably have primary custody, so you'll be able to influence him most. Trying to stop his father from seeing him is a crazy bitch move.

[Wakeup]

I don't want my son being surrounded by this behaviour. I want him to be normal and happy. I'm worried that he won't be a good influence in his life. His father clearly has no respect for women, or for himself. My son is my number one priority in all of this.

Have you asked for sole custody and that he only get supervised visitation? If you haven't, why not? He will still see his child regularily (as will his parents) but he'll not be able to blurr any lines between his parental role and his sexual addiction and the child will be far removed from what he consideres "normal." No child needs to see his father bringing home a different women everynight. Its just not healthy for a young one's psyche to witness that.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Have you asked for sole custody and that he only get supervised visitation? If you haven't, why not? He will still see his child regularily (as will his parents) but he'll not be able to blurr any lines between his parental role and his sexual addiction and the child will be far removed from what he consideres "normal." No child needs to see his father bringing home a different women everynight. Its just not healthy for a young one's psyche to witness that.

Again, no legal grounds for supervised visitation or sole custody. He's not a danger to the child. My old landlord had racks of different women coming home with him, and his daughter has been a witness for 20+ years. He's had sole custody since she was 10 months old, and she is a very smart, well adjusted young woman, who has never wanted for anything. He has asked me on more than one occasion to loan him a few hundred dollars to hold him over to his next paycheck, so that he can spend a few thousand dollars on her classes. She doesn't stay out late, drink, do drugs, or anything 'bad'. She's very involved with her church. She is the polar opposite of the only parent she has ever known.

Trying to take the man's son from him is wrong.

[Wakeup]

Yes well for every good ending, there is always 10 equally horrific outcomes. My cousin witnessed the comings and goings of her promiscuous mother's shinannigans and she's a psychological mess who often has nightmares about what she witnessed so... there it is... take it or leave it, op and yes it was grounds for supervised visits because cous ended up in Childrens Services for awhile until her mother won her back.

[vashti]

You're both ridiculous. As Starnique pointed out, the guy has done nothing illegal nor put the child in danger.

Maybe this is okay in Brazil, but it's certainly NOT where I live.

One girl was a teenager, he's nearly 30. She was drunk at a party ... He took her in a room with another guy and did whatever he did.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yes well for every good ending, there is always 10 equally horrific outcomes. My cousin witnessed the comings and goings of her promiscuous mother's shinannigans and she's a psychological mess who often has nightmares about what she witnessed so... there it is... take it or leave it, op and yes it was grounds for supervised visits because cous ended up in Childrens Services for awhile until her mother won her back.

This guy hasn't brought loads of women into the house, and she hasn't confirmed anything other than he's talked to a lot of women online. I can guarantee she will get shot the **** down in a Brazilian court.

I also only count 1 outcome, that is not even close to what I would call horrific. What did you friend witness that she has nightmares about?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Maybe this is okay in Brazil, but it's certainly NOT where I live.

I like how you left out the part of the quote where the girl was asking for sex. You realize 18 and 19 year olds are teenagers too right?

[vashti]

I like how you left out the part of the quote where the girl was asking for sex. You realize 18 and 19 year olds are teenagers too right?

Legally, someone who is drunk and underage can't consent, and that 13 is also a teenager?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

My point was, that an 18 or 19 year old who is drunk at a party, walking around asking for sex is clearly consenting. Teenage doesn't mean underage. I agree its creepy if he was going after some adolescent girl, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here. If a girl walks up to you and asks to have sex, that's consent anywhere in the world.

[Jen73]

She was 17. I do have real concerns. If it was just sleeping around that's one thing, but I think he's a total sex addict. Like I said before, I'd often wake up because he was touching me in my sleep. And as soon as I'd wake up he'd jump off me. That's twisted in any part of the world.

I certainly don't want to take his son away from him. I'm just worried about what kind of environment he will be in or what he will teach him. He isn't 'normal' in any respect when it comes to his attitude to sex. I looked at his online history and he'd been watching 'sleeping porn' hence the reason he did that to me I guess.

[Wakeup]

This guy hasn't brought loads of women into the house, and she hasn't confirmed anything other than he's talked to a lot of women online.

I'm talking about when its turn for custody/visitation. If he keeps his sex life separate from his child, then the child won't be affected.

I can guarantee she will get shot the **** down in a Brazilian court.

I don't know snot about Brazilian courts so I'll not comment about her chances. I'm still waiting to see Op's answer to the question why she hasn't pursued sole custody with him having supervised visitation, though.

[Jen73]

I haven't decided anything re custody yet. My baby is the most important thing in the world to me and I want to feel confident that I'm making the best decision I can in his interests. I'm mulling it over at the moment. Our baby is still a newborn. Whilst I know he loves him, he clearly isn't his number one priority as since our baby was 4weeks old he has spent the majority of time online trying to get dates, while I've been looking after our child. If I know he can change this behaviour at least when our son is around then I'm fine with him seeing. I'm just not confident enough in him right now. At the moment he sees the baby at his parents when they have him.

[Wakeup]

Well, as long as he sees the baby at his parents home, then I don't see what this has to do with his sexual proclivities. You are ex's and visitation IS ALREADY supervised. I thought you meant he lived alone and had the baby at his house with just the two of them.

He's your ex so no matter how odd you or any of us find his sexual life, its not affecting the baby right now. You'd do well to talk to a lawyer about when/if your ex moves into his own home. In the meantime, be thankful his parents are available and responsible caregivers to help your ex out.

[Jen73]

Sorry maybe I didn't make myself clear. He has his own home and used to have him over until I discovered that he hadnt changed. Since then I've told him that I want him to see him at his parents as a short term measure. Long term he wants him with him for a few nights a week. Right now I'm discussing this because he hasn't changed and I'm concerned about what will happen if allow that. If I continue to request he sees him at his mothers she will want to know why. Me and her are close but I don't have the heart to tell her.