Men

[Wakeup]

That's right... I new it started with a "T".

I think Brazil is the Plastic Surgery Capital of the world.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Look up Rio.

Michelle, he has not put the child in danger and she said he's been a great father thus far. You can say all you want about the man's potential, but the fact is that he has not done anything to put the child at risk. If he were to take his child to a brothel and leave him while he goes and does his thing, then yes, that is putting the child at risk, but he hasn't done that. You're convicting and punishing someone crimes he has not committed.

[michelle23]

But if she feels there is a risk of these things happening she would not be a good mother to leave her son with him. She said his behaviour really concerns and disturbs her. This is not a woman trying to get revenge or use her kid as a weapon. This is a concerned parent trying to do what is best for her baby.

Would you want to leave your child with someone you dont trust? Coz I no i wouldnt.

Yes i no he has not put his son in any danger but he has never been alone with the baby. She doesnt want to take that risk.

[Jen73]

I know this us all getting rather heated... But first off I don't want to stop him from seeing his son. I don't have the right unless I feel he is in dander... Then it's my job to protect him, that being said.. The things he has done to me are awful. I feel degraded and horrified. We are not just talking about a man who sleeps around... We are talking about a man who's baby I carried... Yet I can't trust him in my house with me when I'm asleep. He has zero respect for me and zero respect for women in general.

I love my son. He's my world. I don't want him to witness his shit. It's unfair. I'm looking for a resolution. I hope therapy maybe?

[KeyKandiss13]

Okay there is a problem and he has it. I think that thats pretty much what all men think about is sex the wrong head i say put your foot down and tell him how you really feel.

[Wakeup]

I know this us all getting rather heated... But first off I don't want to stop him from seeing his son. I don't have the right unless I feel he is in dander... Then it's my job to protect him, that being said.. The things he has done to me are awful. I feel degraded and horrified. We are not just talking about a man who sleeps around... We are talking about a man who's baby I carried... Yet I can't trust him in my house with me when I'm asleep. He has zero respect for me and zero respect for women in general.

I love my son. He's my world. I don't want him to witness his shit. It's unfair. I'm looking for a resolution. I hope therapy maybe?

You can't talk him into getting therapy, but he may agree to it if he understood your concerns. I think you'd do well to do some online research into how children can be emotionally disturbed from watching a parent's (parents) promiscuity. If you present this to him in a logical and concerned for yours and his childs psyche, it may be enough for him to keep his life private from his son (which any parent should do anyway).

Have you called a lawyer yet to get things started on proper custody schedules and child support in place?

[Jen73]

I have to admit I haven't. I'm scared about making it formal because then I'll have to explain my reasons. As soon as I do that this information is out there. No going back. My son will find out about that in years to come. That would break my heart. I live him and I don't want him to know.

[Wakeup]

Okay so you want what you want without having to do a damn thing to get it.

Only thing left if to speak directly to your ex about your concerns and hope he understands. Do the research. It will help your argument. If you do NOTHING then you are NOT looking after your son's best interests but rather the best interests of his father and his reputation.

Good luck.

[Jen73]

I don't know what the right thing to do is. If I did i certainly wouldn't be here talking to strangers. I'm worries and I want to know that the decision I come to is the right one. Thank you for your advice. It means a lot.

[Wakeup]

I don't know what the right thing to do is. If I did i certainly wouldn't be here talking to strangers. I'm worries and I want to know that the decision I come to is the right one. Thank you for your advice. It means a lot.

You're welcome. Keep in mind there's nothing wrong with getting proper custody and child support in place. Are you afraid that even doing that is going to set him off in a negative manner to you or something? Does he pay you an amount towards the baby's upbringing at all right now?

[bcgirl]

Jen, the father of your baby has tried to rape you. Yes, it still can be rape if you aren't consenting to have sex even if he is your boyfriend. For him to try to stick his dick inside when you are sleeping with no respect about your mood or the fact that you are sleeping! What if you were passed out drunk and wasted... Would he try to screw you then? This amd the fact that he tries to meet up with minors online for sex proves that he is a sexual predator. He has an obsession of picking up women for sex online. I knew a guy like that before. He would sit hours at home on online dating sites trying to pick up girls. He tried picking me up too and tried so desperately hard, he oozed of desperation. He eventually got arrested for date raping a girl he met online, left her naked body in the woods far away from her home.
Those girls online are somebody's children too. I would report his behaviour to authorities if you have proof that these girls he is trying to get with are minors.

[Jen73]

The girls he are talking to aren't minors... There was only one girl who was young abd she was 17. He doesn't like underage girls..

[michelle23]

You need to speak to a professional Jen. Either a lawyer or a social worker. Get some professional advice. You can do that anonymously if you wish. Even talk to a psychologist and ask what there opinion of him is.

We only know a fraction of what he has done and I am convinced that he has a problem and will probably get worse. But I am not an expert. You need to be sure whether he is considered a danger or not by a professional who knows the whole story from the day you met him until now.

Then you can decide what to do next.

Your son cannot be exposed to his behavior no matter what. If he refuses to change-fine but your son cannot find out what hes like or be exposed to his interactions online or meet his latest sex object/toy etc..

If you think he can control himself around your son and will look after him properly great but he needs to prove that.

[bcgirl]

The girls he are talking to aren't minors... There was only one girl who was young abd she was 17. He doesn't like underage girls..

You so sure about this? I remember when I was 13 yrs old having slumber parties with my friends and going to online chat rooms late at night and having a good laugh. So many creeps and pedophiles on there lurking for sex and not caring about age. Have you ever seen that NBC show "how to catch a predator"? There are tons of men on there that claim they aren't pedophiles, even are hesitant to meet such a young girl for sex online...but when it came down to it, their urge for sex was too powerful even for their morals. Sexual addiction can do this.

[bcgirl]

Anyhow, why did you even decide to have a baby with a creep who tries to rape you in your sleep? How long did you really date him before having a baby with him? Why not get married first?
Anyhow, you decided to have a baby with a douchebag and now you and him are forever tied together by an innocent son. This douche is in fact his father and should be able to see his son. If you have no grounds for proving he is an unfit parent, then the courts won't even take you seriously. You won't be able to control your ex's parental ways so you just really need to either find cold hard proof to use in courts why he is unfit or just trust that your son will be in good hands with his father. There are tons of douchebag fathers out there who degrade women but its no grounds to take the kid away from the parent. You can talk to him stating your concerns about his parenting ways, but you can't force him to do anything different. You can just have faith he won't be bringing random women to the house and having your son meet all these women..but even if he did, this won't even be close to being an unfit parent.