my 5 yrs GF sleeps with another man

[loverboy3]

How can I forgive my gf of 5 yrs relationship who cheated on me?She met my family n relative.I had a feeling there was another man cause I could see her physically start to dress sexier and do the hair,pretending shes buzy at work and with going out with her girls friend. Shes met the guy last Nov saying shes just a friend. She changed in Jan trying to argue with me everytime when we go out.I asked her in feb if shes cheating. She swear to God n her late Dad shes is not cheating. N i see that shes tired on bed also, shes nomore that passionate like before. One day I found out pics of that guy in her mobile. I confronted her, She admitted that she slept with him n me at the same day, that is just disgusting. She asked for forgiveness and shes really love me that she will forget the other guy. But after 1 week later, she looked deep into my eyes and told me she dt love me anymore and going to the other one. I let her go, but after 3 days shes was begging me to take her back? Shes my first one I done everything and am her first one also. I took her back again.I was not in the country for 2 weeks and she said she gona be faithful to me, 2 days ago, I phoned her and shes picked up the phone but she was in the guy's car talking. She said that the guy saw her on the road and asked her to talk. Shes said shes so sorry she should be have went inside the car to talk to him. The thing is i always talk to her on skype everymorning n night, she always said shes love me n miss me. I cant let my first one to go am 22 n shes 21

[Ann S]

Why is it most of us don't pay attention to our intuitions? YOU didn't LET her go.....she was already gone! And I hope you thank your lucky stars that you don't have to spend one more moment of your life, wondering if she's cheating.
You know, forgiveness is a wonderful thing. It is given when one says, "I'm sorry, and I'm going to change." But this girl apologized and then went out and did the same thing. Forgiveness is no longer the topic.
Stop talking to her on EVERYTHING. Go find yourself a woman who knows how to be in a relationship - one who is trustworthy. Ann

[dickriculous]

OP you already know damn well that you need to leave her and cut off all contact. The only reason you're asking this question is in hope of the slim chance that anyone here is dumb enough to suggest you stay with her and everything will be ok.

I'll save you the trouble - none of the regulars here would ever give such terrible advice to anyone.

Face reality or immerse yourself in self-delusion and suffer the consequences. What's it gonna be? At the end of the day it all comes down to this very simple choice.

[Starnique]

Following what dickriulous said, just know that it may be hard now letting go but you will save yourself so much heartache in the future.

[Yardbird]

Hey bud I'm really sorry to here this. That must be a horrible thing to go through. But, I promise you as hard as it is you will be better off letting her go. I just finished with my longterm girlfriend who was my first sexual partner as well. I was her first too. Really difficult to do, but here I am several months down the road and already falling hard for another girl with not a single regret for the first.

In the moment I never thought I would get over it, but I did. And so will you as awful as it sounds. Just keep your head up and find a lady that respects you. The fact that you go 5 years without cheating on her shows that you're a good man who deserves better. As much as it sucks to hear, whatever she was to you, she is no more. She's changed. If she truly wanted forgiveness you would not have her calling you from his car. She just wants to have her cake and eat it too... and the neighbors cake.

[HeartIsAching]

How can I forgive my gf of 5 yrs relationship who cheated on me?

Why would you want to?

[michelle23]

Im sorry this has happened to you but it is time to move on my friend.

Cheating is like breaking a vase and trying to put the pieces back together. It will never be the same again.

I recommend you dump her and cut all contact with her. Sure it will hurt like hell at first-its like ripping off a band aid but you will get over her in time.

Look up the five stages of grief. It will take time, its not gonna be easy but I can promise you it will hurt a hell of a lot more to stay than to go and its not worth it in the long run.

You deserve a woman who is as honest and faithful as you are. The damage is done and its better to walk away.

Good luck to you

[manitari]

Cheating is the worst thing that could happen. You have already giver her a chance. She wasted it. it is time to move on no matter how hard it sounds. you deserve better. She deserves worse.

[TablesandChairs]

She's not ready for a committed relationship. And she's a continual cheat. Let her go. Our 'first' one's rarely end up being our last ones so don't panic.

She's using you as a crutch because the other guy won't commit or doesn't offer her what you do...so she's currently trying to juggle both and see what comes of it. That leaves you in the position of door mat. Move on.

[pcmaster]

She did this to you and you forgive her. You lost her respect already.

"Wow... he let me treat him this way, he let me do this to him. He is afraid to be man, if he lets me do this thing to him, what else will he let me do? Will he protect me when I need him? Maybe not, if he is afraid to put me in my place. How can he protect me from another man when I need him? He is not the secure guy I thought. He looks weak to me. I can manipulate him now to do what I want him to do. I can get away with anything now. I can do what I want. I'm in control of things now. He is not. He will jump through my hoops. I can tell him what to do. How can I take him seriously anymore when he won't stand up to me? He is not a challenge, maybe I need to look for another guy. His insecure behavior really disgusts me. He is not a man that I need. I have to let him go. I need another guy. He is gone, we are over."

[manitari]

I will post a quote that I think is related to you. If you love someone let him/her go. If he/she comes backs he/she is yours. If he/she doesn't he/she never was. But in this situation letting someone go means tell her it is over and mean it. Go on with your life. Someday you don't know. You may be together again. Maybe you won't.

[pcmaster]

You may be together again. Maybe you won't.

LOL I figuret that out too.

[michelle23]

I will post a quote that I think is related to you. If you love someone let him/her go. If he/she comes backs he/she is yours. If he/she doesn't he/she never was. But in this situation letting someone go means tell her it is over and mean it. Go on with your life. Someday you don't know. You may be together again. Maybe you won't.

I believe that if there is no cheating involved. I dont believe in second chances. If they screw you over once, why give them a second chance to do it again? Anyway they need to learn the hard way that your the best they ever had so they can watch you sail off into the sunset while they deal with second best.

karma is a bitch

[bcgirl]

The gf is constantly cheating and lying. She has no respect for you anymore. Even if you take her back, the anxiety of wondering what she is doing, wondering if she is seeing another guy behind your back again, when something on tv will come up of cheating all the emotions of how you felt will come up to the surface. All this trauma ain't worth I on some girl who has proven herself over and over to be untrustworthy. You are still very young with your whole life ahead of you to meet a girl. Dump her, focus on you and your education/career. Go out and explore, meet new friends and ppl, take up new things and hobbies, experience other girls. When you are older and wiser, you will be more clear in what type of girl you wanna marry. Until then, don't stress too much and have fun.