What is this girl trying to do!?!?!

[jdog45]

****I'd really appreciate it if you read what I've had to say and gave a good answer, because I really don't know what to do...


I'm very confused with this girl. The short backstory is that we've been talking since November. I knew she was into me, and I was into her as well, but we never ended up hanging out. We would talk everyday, but still----we would never hang out. So some time goes by, and I stop making an effort to talk to her. Three weeks ago I stopped talking to her all together, I was annoyed that we never hung out. I thought to myself 'We've been talking for over 4 months and we haven't hung out, and I might as well give up trying to hang out with this girl.' So a week went by without talking to her, then she sent me a message. I didn't answer for like a day (which was unusual) and when I responded the next day she never answered my message. Since then two weeks have passed and we haven't said a word to each other. I know from this story it sounds like the classic 'she's just not into you anymore story' but I know for a fact that is not the case. I have a feeling she didn't answer my message out of spite and wants me to make an effort to talk to her. Basically I feel the same way, if she really wants to talk to me she can make the effort to talk to me.

Now whenever I log on Facebook and she's online, she'll log off after like 30 seconds. I honestly don't think it's because she doesn't want to talk to me---because I know she wants to talk to me. I think she is trying to play some game, but I'm not sure what she is trying to do.

So my question is why isn't she reaching out and contacting me? And why whenever I go on Facebook does she immediately log off? What game is she trying to play?

Also a disclaimer: this may seem like a weird question, but I'm not a weird person whatsoever. I am an attractive guy and could easily get a lot of other girls but for some reason I'm stuck on this one. I really like her, and she's not weird either. We are two very normal people despite the weirdness of the situation.



Also sometimes she'd initiate the conversation then stop talking to me mid-way through it. If she's gonna blow me off, shouldn't I have the right to blow her off?


Thanks in advance

[HeartIsAching]

Why? Because you played stupid punishment games to passive-aggressively force what you wanted instead of just telling her what you wanted.

Welcome to adult relationships.

[bearz]

You wanted to hang out with her, but you never actually asked her to hang out with you. She can't read your mind.

[jdog45]

I'm only treating her this way because it's a last resort. The phone works both ways too-- by this logic, isn't she doing the same exact thing to me??

[jdog45]

I did though, I did countless times. I even talked to her friends and they said she was dying to hang out with me but whenever I'd ask her something would come up.

As a response to that one would thing she just didn't want to hang out with me or that she didn't like me, but from talking to her friends she did like me a lot and was dying to hang out with me.

[bearz]

She isn't still a teenager by any chance is she?

[jdog45]

We're both 18

[Zulnex]

You wanted to hang out with her, but you never actually asked her to hang out with you. She can't read your mind.

I came to the same conclusion as well.

[jdog45]

I came to a same conclusion as well.

I guess I could have been a little more forward, but I was wondering is this a common thing??

She wants to hang out with me quite badly, but I don't contact her for a couple weeks and she doesn't say a word to me? Does she expect me to do everything?

[basilandthyme]

I guess I could have been a little more forward, but I was wondering is this a common thing??

She wants to hang out with me quite badly, but I don't contact her for a couple weeks and she doesn't say a word to me? Does she expect me to do everything?

I'm a woman. While it's traditional for the boy to ask the girl out the first time, I've always believed that the girl needs to do an equal amount of initiating subsequent conversations and meetings. If a guy asked me out and I was busy - but wanted to go - I'd usually respond with "I can't do that night, but I'm free on X if that suits you".

Having said that, none of this is about right and wrong. And it's not about having a "right" to blow her off...that just sounds like juvenile tit for tat behaviour. If you want her, then chase her. If you don't want her, then walk away. But trying to even a score is just stupid.