Am i too picky? what to do to change myself?

[sep]

Hi. I am a 29 years old single girl. I wish to find someone for a serious relationship and marriage. My last boyfriends didn't ask me for marriage and that was the reason I ended with them. One of them was so handsome but a jerk! Now I am looking for someone but people say I am too picky. They suggest me some guys but not my type. Sometimes I don’t like their manner or style or look,… I wonder if they are right and I’m too picky or not.
People say I myself have an average look, but I feel I am good enough to deserve someone I like. I want someone who attracts me by his appearance and his behavior but those guys my friend suggest me usually aren't attractive for me specially their look. I like tall guys (no offence, just a personal preference) but they all suggest me short and really short ones. I certainly have some personality/manner criteria too. And I know that look isn’t everything. So I myself don’t think that I’m too choosy, but my friends think so I myself find some people attractive around me but they don’t show interest in me. I feel so desperate, how I cannot find someone with a mutual attraction and aimed for marriage!
Am I too picky? If you think so, what can I do to feel better with people who are not attracting me? How can I help myself to change my standards, should I do that?
how can I make myself accept dating someone whom I don’t like? When you don’t like somebody you don’t enjoy being around him, it doesn’t make you happy
Thanks for any help

[smackie9]

I find the harder you look the less likely you will find someone. The best things to do is get involved with a hobby, interest or activity that is shared socially, say like a club or taking dancing lessons. That is a sure fire way to meet someone that is more compatible to you. The more people you hang out with, the bigger the chances you will find someone. I was in your shoes once when my GF kept trying to set me up with what I consider as losers lol.....and I totally understand that dating really sucks (omg I had some bad ones). I met my husband by chance when I worked at a club...it turned out we had mutual friends, and I pursued him, the rest is history.

[pcmaster]

If you like a guy then go and talk with him. Theres so many beautiful women who never been aproached by guys in their all life.

[bearz]

Don't date someone you don't like, that would be just a waste of time. If you have your standards, stick to them. All you need is a wider variety and a larger pool of guys to pick from. Make yourself more visible, put yourself out there so you actually get to meet more guys and more importantly, they get to see you.

[FlaCooln]

Nothing is wrong with being picky, but there is something wrong with settling. Your 29 and you have a good idea and more criterion to what you want in a man, so it makes it harder to find one that meets that. However, in the long run its better to know what you want and go for it because if you settle you will be wanting more and eventually unhappy.

If I was not being picky I would have married my exGF and made a HUGE mistake. Settling for her would have led to me being very unhappy.

[pcmaster]

Flacooln when do you know when you are settling and when the person is right to marry?

[FlaCooln]

Flacooln when do you know when you are settling and when the person is right to marry?

You just know....lol.

When you cannot picture your life without her. You mesh well, challege each other, are able to have fun doing anything together, are open/honest with each other, and just want to do all the little things to make her happy and she does the same for you. That and a great sex life of course.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How long were you with your last boyfriends for? What do you look for in a guy?

[Jacob E.]

Its nice to see someone who cares about marriage. Can I meet you sometime (I'm proving a point here BTW, not trying to be creepy). Maybe people don't see this in you or maybe you are hanging out with the wrong crowd. Keep looking!

[sep]

Well, I agree I should meet more people, I started to be more friendly to people and be more nice. But had a bad experience today at work when I met a person whom I asked to guide me for some issue and he seemed to be single and nice and educated etc,…, so I started talking him a lot with a smile and thinking that he can be a good case wishing of he may like me too, but when we got alone in the room working with some equipments he started some subtle nasty touches. I was very angry and left the room soon.
It was a bad start for being nice to people I like! Or maybe I did it in a wrong way which looked more flirty or sl*tty to that guy.
I was 2 years in relationship with my last boyfriend and I had asked him in several occasions if we were going to get married in future and he answered “No”, I have left him for 6 months and don’t think about getting married to him anymore while he still texts me every sometime asking my well being, and I don’t reply. But unfortunately I compare every guy I met with him, he was very good looking so it has become a challenge for me. I know it is wrong to compare people and I don’t know if the compare is because I have not forgotten my ex yet!
My criteria:
I prefer a tall person, I am 164cm and I prefer +178cm
Not exactly an athlete body but not too thin or too fat, and walks in a good style, I mean a normal body posture.
And an acceptable face (not something special)
(sure his personal health care also matters, clean body,teeth,etc)
In personality I like manly silent guys who are polite and nice in talking and treating people.

also I rejected some guys because I felt their knowledge or fields of interest don't match mine, people who have scientific knowledge or study about different issues attract me by their knowledge. cheap routine talks makes me bored, and I have rejected most of previous cases because of the feeling that they seemed cheap! -----
Are they a lot? Or very high?
Of course I know he must have many more features but these are only the primary criteria I use to choose someone to date, to know more about them and see if he is OK for my life or not.

[sep]

By the way, if I choose a person without those criteria, and I meet some handsome people around me after marriage, will it increase the chance of regret or betrayal? I’m just afraid, as I wish to have a faithful and full of love marriage.
And how much a person’s body, height, etc affects his ability to satisfy his partner sexually? If I don’t like their look, can I enjoy bedtime with them? And I am afraid if I don’t like their look, their bad features is more unbearable (everybody has some bad features in personality).
I used to have a thin average height boyfriend and when I used to leave him for going home, I was watching people around and thinking how better they could be in bed…
(Please don’t say I am a crap thinker, I am trying to get better …)

[michelle23]

You are being too desperate, looking too hard and not giving anyone a chance because you are looking for all their flaws and not their good qualities. You need to just relax and stop hoping for now. Get out, meet people, socialize, join a few hobbies etc. It will just happen when you are not looking so hard. You are thinking too much about it and in too much of a hurry to get married.

Relax, go with the flow and it will happen.