Her past is bothering me

[Wakeup]

I think a gals worse nightmare is ending up with someone like toknow.

Op: If you love this girl and she's showing you that she loves you, then do your best to forget before and just concentrate on now.

[Boisdevie]

Op: If you love this girl and she's showing you that she loves you, then do your best to forget before and just concentrate on now.

No, he's going to contiunue obsessing about it and we all know it don't we?
Nice example of hypocracy. He's probably happy that he's banging her but doesn't like the idea that he's not been the first person to play 'hide the sausage' with her.

[Valixy]

Funny how the question 'how many people were you with before me' causes so much drama when people are in their twenties. After 30, no one even bothers to ask this question anymore. All you want is someone nice who wants to dedicate to a relationship and if there are any worries, they are about any possible emotional attachment your partner might still have towards a previous one.

I hear so many stories about people how had one or two partners before meeting their last one but a part of them is still longing for someone they used to know and end up ruining their relationship, that it becomes obvious what really intoxicates things between two people. Or girls that after several years with their first partner ask for a separation because they suddenly realise they can't and don't want to continue being committed to just one person for the rest of their lives.

Lover97, your girlfriend could have been a virgin but not been able to totally fall in love with you, respect you or treat you right, be very compatible with you or fantasise about others. If you or anyone else thinks that is a preferable situation than maybe that's something that should be experienced in order to learn to appreciate and respect a girl that really loves you and gives her best in the relationship with you disregarding how many partners she had before meeting you.

If you are so disappointed she's not the Sleeping Beauty, then maybe she shouldn't give you a chance because you're not her prince in a shining armour either!

[toknow]

LOL...I am flattered about all the posts focused on me and my entertainment reading them, but this is not about me right now. It's about OP and the truth. To you it might be fine to be a "slut" and to marry one. I might change my mind later on in life, but at the moment I don't think it's a good idea. To simply close your eyes before something as crucial to the stability of the relationship is stupid at best.

[basilandthyme]

And here we are back at toknow's 'truth'. Fact is, truth very often looks different to the different parties involved. Two people can look at the same issue and have very different versions of the 'truth' - and both honestly believe their versions.

And for what it's worth, I'd never use the word 'slut' to describe someone. And I'd never marry a person who was judgemental enough to have that word in his vocab.

[toknow]

Completely incorrect. The truth is one, how people interpret it is a different story. There is no such thing as different versions of it.

Never say never.

[basilandthyme]

Completely incorrect. The truth is one, how people interpret it is a different story. There is no such thing as different versions of it.

Never say never.

Each person believes their interpretation is the truth. Therefore, it is the truth *to them*.

And yes, I can safely say I'd never follow your path of judgement - nor would I associate with someone who judges as you do.

[pcmaster]

Maybe thats why you are not single like toknow.

[toknow]

And yes, I can safely say I'd never follow your path of judgement - nor would I associate with someone who judges as you do.

LOL...And I can safely say I couldn't care less. You should understand the difference when someone tells you something to judge you, and when they say it because it's the truth, and the truth has to be told, period. And I'm not going to tell you lies to spare your feelings. It wouldn't be fair to you.

Pcmaster, how are you so sure you know me so well, as you barely know yourself. Hilarious.

[Wakeup]

LOL...I am flattered about all the posts focused on me and my entertainment reading them,

One word: Narcissist.

[toknow]

Guys, I'm not here to insult you, understand this. If you don't believe what I'm saying skip over it.

[Wakeup]

You talk in riddles like Yoda on crack. Believe you? Whats to believe?

[dickriculous]

You should understand the difference when someone tells you something to judge you, and when they say it because it's the truth

Everyone here understands this just fine, what you don't seem to understand is the difference between an objective truth and your opinion.

Had you simply said "I wouldn't want to marry someone who has been with more than xxx partners", plenty of people here would disagree with you but only a few are irrational enough to get their panties tied in a knot over it. And if anyone overreacted I would be the first to call them out on it.

Instead you attempted to diagnose a healthy, long term marriage that's been going on for longer than a lot of posters here have been alive and that NOBODY has seen any real problems with and tried to impose a bunch of made-up bullshit into this marriage that you know absolutely NOTHING about, all in some roundabout effort to make your opinion - which happened not to add up in this scenario - appear to be factual. Everyone here saw right through it.

In layman's terms, you were talking completely out of your ass. Instead of accepting that you delude yourself into thinking that your unsubstantiated diagnosis (that has literally rock-bottom zero in terms of evidence to support it) is some sort of set-in-stone truth that is above the perception of anyone who doesn't accept it as end-all-be-all. And in the midst of all this it's some grand mystery to you why everyone is calling you out on your bullshit?

[basilandthyme]

Instead you attempted to diagnose a healthy, long term marriage that's been going on for longer than a lot of posters here have been alive and that NOBODY has seen any real problems with and tried to impose a bunch of made-up bullshit into this marriage that you know absolutely NOTHING about, all in some roundabout effort to make your opinion - which happened not to add up in this scenario - appear to be factual. Everyone here saw right through it.

And may I add, he only came up with this idea when it became apparent that I'm not my husband's worst nightmare.

[basilandthyme]

For what it's worth, 8:10 marriages who have an autistic child end in divorce. So between surviving those terrible odds and now toknow's ticking time bomb, I think we're doing pretty bloody good.