Her past is bothering me

[Lover97]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months but I love her so much. I've been in longer relationships but have never loved any of them this much. Of course with love comes jealousy. I cannot get over my girls past. When I'm with her I'm fine but when I'm not and have time on my hands I can't stop thinking about it. She has been with 2 people in high school and her first year of college she was with 4 ppl. They weren't one night stands, they were actually people she thought she would end up being with. She's not the type to be with anyone if there not going to make a commitment because she stopped talking to them for that reason. Me and her had sex after a little over a week but we were literally hanging out for about 5 hours everyday before we did. I need help getting over her past... Its not really the 2 in high school that bothers me. It is the 4 people she was with her freshman year of college that bothers me. 6 is not a high number but i still get jealous. Someone please help me.

[bearz]

Why are you jealous of something that's in the past? She isn't talking to them anymore... at least according to what you are telling us. You shouldn't have anything to worry about.

[pcmaster]

Dont be jelous !

I hear in radio that penis shape is perfectly made for pumping out previous male sperm out of vagina.

[bearz]

Dont be jelous !

I hear in radio that penis shape is perfectly made for pumping out previous male sperm out of vagina.

Thumbs up for that comment. lol

[srami83]

Only you can help yourself by just accepting her past. If you can't accept the fact that she has a past then there's nothing you can do but break up. Everyone has a past...so its unrealisic to think you'll find someone without one..if you like everythig else about her you need to just learn to accept it happened before your time with her.

[dotdot]

The past is the past. Why should you care about it. You love her for who she is. I was in the sane position as you, I was finding it hard to get over my gf past. But I realised what she did before is nothing to with me. And you should think the same. Your into her and sane applies to her. Not like she even talks to them. So just move on and enjoy your time with her

[michelle23]

She wasnt having one night stands, shes not a slut so i really dont see an issue.. I just hope ur not one of those hypocritical losers who thinks its alright for you to have a past but not her.

[toknow]

Hmn...I do not agree with anyone here. The past, though not always, can be good indication of the future. History does tend to repeat itself. 4 people just in college is not a small number for a girl - one dude per year. I say for a girl, because girls are naturally supposed to be less promiscuous than guys, if anything, because the outcome of getting pregnant for a girl caries a heavier toll.

I don't know much about your relationship, but you have a good reason to question this. A guy's worst nightmare is ending up with a "slut". Guys will have sex with a girl like that, they will respond to her, but no guy has respect for a girl like that.
I'm not saying she is like this, but if she is, the ramifications of her being like that at the least spell the end of your relationship. You have to really think about this.

[basilandthyme]

Hmn...I do not agree with anyone here. The past, though not always, can be good indication of the future. History does tend to repeat itself. 4 people just in college is not a small number for a girl - one dude per year. I say for a girl, because girls are naturally supposed to be less promiscuous than guys, if anything, because the outcome of getting pregnant for a girl caries a heavier toll.

I don't know much about your relationship, but you have a good reason to question this. A guy's worst nightmare is ending up with a "slut". Guys will have sex with a girl like that, they will respond to her, but no guy has respect for a girl like that.
I'm not saying she is like this, but if she is, the ramifications of her being like that at the least spell the end of your relationship. You have to really think about this.

Huge generalisations you're making there.

If it's true that a guy's worst nightmare is ending up with a 'slut', why was my husband so happy with me...despite me having had about 15 partners by the time I was 24? And why does he respect me? Oh - and I should add that our 20 year union was the result of a one night stand - so it's not like I pretended to be something I wasn't. And he has very high self esteem....more so than many men I've known.

Please explain

[toknow]

Huge generalisations you're making there.

If it's true that a guy's worst nightmare is ending up with a 'slut', why was my husband so happy with me...despite me having had about 15 partners by the time I was 24? And why does he respect me?Please explain

If he is ok with you being a "slut" he doesn't care about you much. And you and he might think he respects you as a "slut" then what does that say about him and is that really respect.

Fact is, girls, if your guy doesn't care about this, you should be very worried about how much he values you, and the state of your relationship. Huge red flag, and I would not be proud of it if I were you.

I have to make what I wrote in my previous post more clear: A guy's worst nightmare is ending up with a "slut"...if he actually values her.

If a car has a broken part in it, but it drives well and no one notices, does it really matter. Not, at the moment it doesn't, but in time it will. Just because something looks healthy and good, doesn't mean it is, but in time it does manifest itself one way or another.

[basilandthyme]

If he is ok with you being a "slut" he doesn't care about you much. And you and he might think he respects you as a "slut" then what does that say about him and is that really respect..

If he doesn't care about me or respect me much, why does he treat me so well? Why does he give credence to my opinions and trust me to be primary carer of our children? Why do we laugh together and enjoy each other's company?

[toknow]

If he doesn't care about me or respect me much, why does he treat me so well? Why does he give credence to my opinions and trust me to be primary carer of our children? Why do we laugh together and enjoy each other's company?

Your relationship with your children and your husband is nothing unusual or special (it's what's beyond the norm that makes it so). It's normal. That's how you are supposed to act to reproduce. You can carry on reproducing and all the natural functions, and still have a broken relationship or just a normal one. As I pointed out above just because something seems right, doesn't mean it necessarily is. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is temporary bliss.

[dickriculous]

If he doesn't care about me or respect me much, why does he treat me so well? Why does he give credence to my opinions and trust me to be primary carer of our children? Why do we laugh together and enjoy each other's company?

You poor delusional lost soul. Don't you know that if he respected and valued you he would've blown you off for being a slut and never bothered with you? I'm so sorry you had to live this lie for all these years, how heartbreaking


Just know that we're all here for you when this 25-30+ year time bomb finally goes off. Always and forever.

[smackie9]

Your relationship with your children and your husband is nothing unusual or special (it's what's beyond the norm that makes it so). It's normal. That's how you are supposed to act to reproduce. You can carry on reproducing and all the natural functions, and still have a broken relationship or just a normal one. As I pointed out above just because something seems right, doesn't mean it necessarily is. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is temporary bliss.

You can be pure as the driven snow and still be in a train wreck of a relationship. People that were never promiscuous, can turn promiscuous....it can happen to anyone at any time, all ages, all walks of life, men and women, gay or straight.

But this thread isn't about promiscuity, this is about insecurity which happens to most everyone when they fall in love.....it will pass just like everything else. Get off your holier than tho soapbox you ass. You are making this about your views and none of your crap is helping the OP.

[dickriculous]

You can be pure as the driven snow and still be in a train wreck of a relationship. People that were never promiscuous, can turn promiscuous....it can happen to anyone at any time, all ages, all walks of life, men and women, gay or straight.

But this thread isn't about promiscuity, this is about insecurity which happens to most everyone when they fall in love.....it will pass just like everything else. Get off your holier than tho soapbox you ass. You are making this about your views and none of your crap is helping the OP.

You're joking, right? You mean you really can't see how raving against women having more than 1 or 2 partners her entire life and tapping into his unrivaled soothsaying skills to diagnose the hidden cancers in basilandthyme's marriage that she, her husband, and everyone else in the world have been blissfully ignorant of for 20 years will solve all of OP's problems?

Not only did he diagnose these hidden cancers, he did so with virtually no information and no leads of any kind. I mean, holy shit man, even a team of the world's best doctors have to run tests and depending on what the problem is it could still take months to figure out even with the world's most advanced technology. And sometimes they STILL can't figure it all out. But toknow, he barely has to blink to figure out the diagnosis. You mean to tell me that you're going to question someone who possesses that level of omniscience?

Nobody recognizes Godlike intuition when they see it these days.