Do I have a chance with him?

[Princess Kiara]

Hello everyone! I'm new to the forum, hi!
I have a problem, with which I really need some guidance. There's a Moldavian singer I'm really interested in, Arsenie Todiraș. He's 29 and I'm 15. I like singing (love it! I have, all my life) and have been told I'm not too bad at it. I know I'm smart and hardworking, since I get straight 10's in school (I am working to study in Romania so I can meet him!) I'm not a supermodel but I'm not ugly either. I know how to eat healthy and take care of my body. I'm honest, modest (I really do not like to show too much skin) and have never had a boyfriend before, since I don't see the point in a non-permanent relationship, but still I know that I would never, ever betray any boyfriend I might eventually have. I am very responsible too, and no one has to tell me to do what I must do. I live by the motto, "I do what I must...because I can."
I've only talked to Mr. Todiraș once, on his chat, but he was extremely friendly and not an obnoxious snob like one other VIP to whom I once talked. He's very smart and speaks many languages (I myself speak English and Spanish, both of which he knows, and am learning his native tongue, Romanian.) I can be stubborn, but normally I am shy and self conscious around people I don't know very well. As you can see, I am a big dreamer. I must confess that I am far more confident in my mental abilities than my physical attractiveness, and must learn how to look well (you know, makeup, hair and stuff).
I would do almost anything to meet this man in person. What little I've read of his personality intrigues me; he sings wonderfully and he is very handsome!
I have liked guys before, but it has never been like this. I truly love him, I know that I do. I saw that he described the perfect girl as 'sexy, beautiful, sweet and compassionate'. I know that I am sweet and compassionate. Not so sure about 'sexy and beautiful', but I guess I can take care of that easily enough, just by bettering my appearance a bit while remaining myself.
What do you think? Do I stand any chance at all with him, assuming I do get the scholarship and go to Romania? How can I increase my chances? I have had many people tell me that I am a very unique and likeable person. I tend to be a bit too loud and to make stupid jokes at times; I definitely need to curb that. Other than that, what can I do? Am I completely out of my mind?
Honest, serious answers only please! I am not joking, this is extremely important to me. My eternal gratitude to the kind soul who can answer me!
Thank you!
"Becky".

[Cerby]

Let me know what you find out, I've been trying to get Jessica Alba to marry me for years, but all I got was a silly restraining order...

[Princess Kiara]

Aw, please don't do this. I'm serious. I know that with enough determination one can accomplish almost anything. All I want to know is if I have the slightest chance. Is that so hard to understand?

[Ann S]

I think it's terrific that you have dreams. I think focusing on your studies so you can study in Romania is also great. But, I wouldn't pin my entire future on just one dream. I hope you have others too, just in case your dream about Mr. Todiras doesn't turn out.
When you say, "I truly love him," I want to ask you if you KNOW him PERSONALLY. You know, I'm sure, so many celebrities are awful in private. Not saying that he is, but just sayin.' Good luck to you. Ann

[Princess Kiara]

Thank you so much Ann!
No, I do not know him personally. But I am a person of conservative morals, so I check out every single potential boyfriend thoroughly before I'll even consider them (what if I end up with someone who mistreats me?) Of course, I strive to do the best I can myself, for how can I ask of another that which I am unable or unwilling to do myself?
I have stalked him all over the Internet. From our conversation, bits and pieces of his life, and some interviews, I gather that he is a very decent, well-educated person. His songs are very "clean" and contain no curse words or anything like that. He went from poor and unknown to very famous. He treats his little sister very well, and apparently values more highly a girl's personality, especially compassion (he himself said so) than her looks. The only thing that bothers me about him is the way he lets all those girls touch him as they please in his music videos, but he's a singer, after all, and I guess he has to do it to increase sales.
And he said he would consider going out with a fan! XD I'm crazy, aren't I?
I would still want to go to Romania if it weren't for him, but at the moment he is my main reason. I admit it

[basilandthyme]

I was going to joke about wanting to be with Christopher Atkins when I was your age, but apparently you want honesty instead of jokes.

You don't have a snowflake's chance in Hell.

Get real and find a boy your own age.

[Princess Kiara]

Thank you for your honesty.
I see. I never really thought I had a chance.
I'm still going to Romania, of course. Perhaps I will at the very least get to meet him. I don't suppose even then that he'd care for an 18*-year-old as unremarkable as myself. For all my friends' urging, I know that the only thing that sets me apart from everyone else in this miserable country is my willingness to work hard, nothing more.
But I can still dream. At least in my dreams, Arsy will always be my boyfriend
*That's how old I will be then, not my current age.

[basilandthyme]

You sound like you have a lot to offer. Don't get yourself stuck with an unachievable dream - find a dream which you can actually do.

To be honest, I really hate how young women like yourself are fed the mantra of being able to achieve anything. The idea of "you can be anything you want to be" is simply not true. Sure, we can achieve a lot in live with effort, but some things ARE out of our reach.

It's really important to find a goal which combines ambition with reality.

[Princess Kiara]

*rueful laugh* Only three guys have ever liked me. One I never saw and was only told by my mother after we'd left the store where he was. Another I never cared for. The last one is one of my current classmates and I cannot stand him!
I want to get out of my house, now. My parents drive me up the wall. Arsy is the only person I have ever cared for in this way. Why, oh why, couldn't I have fallen for someone reachable?
Yet the fact remains that even though I know full well that it will never happen, I cannot shake the feeling that we were meant for each other.

[basilandthyme]

Part of reality is realising that you're only 15 and have your whole life in front of you. And there would be many girls your age who've NEVER had a guy who's keen on them - so you've got an advantage already.

Teenage relationships rarely work out anyway.

[Princess Kiara]

I know, I know! But I love him insanely. My heart races if I even hear a word resembling his name or a phrase I associate with one of his songs. It's so easy for me to imagine speaking with him, walking beside him, holding his hand. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see a picture of him, and when I chatted with him, I swear I felt as if I had gotten through to the President of the United States! It's the first time in my life that I have not been ashamed to even hint at anything that might imply I even liked a boy. And now, it's so natural that I find myself whispering it all the time. I'll speak to him even though he's not here, I'll say things to him in his native tongue like, "Te iubesc foarte mult, Arsenie dragă" ("I love you very much, dear Arsenie"), "Te rog, iubire meu, vino cu mine și am să te învaț să râzi" ("Please, my love, come with me and I will teach you to laugh"), "Iubire meu, lasă-mă să te iubesc, te rog! Știi ca viața mea ești numai tu!" ("My love, let me love you, please! You know that you only are my life!")...you get the idea. Am I completely bonkers? I'm usually an excellent student, yet I have scribbled his name all over my school notebooks. And I truly cannot help it. I think of him all day from morning to evening. I dream about him at night. I wake up with him on my mind. And I keep thinking, "What if...?"
Sometimes I feel certain that he must know how I feel about him. My emotional side is absolutely certain that he must know due to the sheer intensity of my feelings, yet my logical half tells me that telepathy does not exist and I am simply being a fool...
I have been an ardent fan of other singers, but this is far more than that, I am sure. I feel as though I have known him for years. I cannot tell you the rage I felt when I read in an interview that once a fan grabbed his rear end after a concert, nor when I found out that one of his forum members calls him, in Polish, "my beloved cookie" and openly tells him that she loves him and begs him to be with her always...and she's never even met him.

[basilandthyme]

No, you're not bonkers. But it's also not love. It's infatuation and is very common in teens. It will fade and you will find a real love

[Princess Kiara]

How is it even possible that I have become so...infatuated...with a man I've never met, who lives halfway around the world from me? Yet it is true. What would I not give, even now, to meet him! This from a girl who, up until a few months ago, hated all the "mushy stuff" and thought Romeo and Juliet stupid and ridiculous. Now I understand! I would give half my life if I could only speak to him but once in person!
Those girls in the videos who keep touching him all over and pushing each other away from him drive me up the wall, as do his over-fawning forum members. Since I don't know him, I exercise restraint when speaking to him and always address him formally. I would be ashamed to do as those other, over-bold girls do. I want to be different, to stand out. But now I wonder, whatever on earth for?

[pcmaster]

Start with writing letters to him, he must have some fan email or something where fans sending their letters. So MAYBE he will respond. Thats the only real solution I see for now. However I bet he have thousands of girls runing for him so you have small chances but still have a chance lol.

Anyway you will make your life much easier if you find someone your age from your class or hood. Someone who you can see every day to who you can be the only girl in the world not 1 of the milion. Do this makes sense?

However you can achieve much more in your life than you think.

Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.

[toknow]

It could be just infatuation or you're suitable genetically for this person, and/or it could be meaningful and lasting. You ask how can you feel something for someone you've never met. A person's voice gives out a lot of genetic information. A person's walk. Their face of course. The way they smell also. And I personally believe there is also another part that gives off information about a person and it's invisible, but can be detected by another match. Did you know that if someone were to take your DNA and send it thousands of miles away, while you and your DNA are separated by thousands of miles, it instantaneously reacts to the DNA in your body. There is telepathy, and much, much more that we can't see.

I'd say go for it, but before you do, you have to realize this might be just a dream - not because he is so high up and you so far from him, but because you might not know him as a person, and only because your perception of the real him might be wrong.
Other than that, there is no limit to what you can achieve if you truly want and believe.

These feelings you are experiencing is when you'll feel you are truly living.

Life is but a moment, and the illusion of many.