Need some advice

[kewell10]

So ive been dating this girl for almost 6 months and all was fine until about a month ago when she was talking about past relationships and intimacy with others to my sister who at the time needed advice. But once hearing that she had slept with someone as a one night stand i stormed off and couldn't take hearing anymore, she has told me all about her past before at the beginning of the relationship and it never bothered me but for some reason now it does. As she is my first girlfriend and first girl to have any intimate relations with, it bothers me with the amount of other men she has slept with a total of 5 before me; 2 being relationships. Although being engaged then being heartbroken just before the wedding she said she just needed to find herself and thats when the 3 other guys came in. But none bother me as much as to one guy which was from another ethnic background. I just cant get this out of my head and its been driving me up the wall. I just dont know what to do, its causing arguments all the time and its causing me to not trust her although we love each other very much. I just cant seem to get around her being with 5 others and me she is the only one.

Am i being immature?

i dont want to break up with her but at the same time i feel like im missing out

[kenny12]

everyone has a past. you are her 6th and she is your first. if you break up with her, presumably over her past, and date 5 more girls, you will be on par with her. does that make you feel better? if yes, go ahead and break up with her. otherwise you have to deal with your jealousy and feeling of inadequacy.

sometimes it's better not to talk too much about the past. that's my take

[YoYoYoYo]

Well,It depends.Are you bothered by the facr that she has had 5 other Boyfriends?

[VerticalMoon]

Yes, you are being immature. So what if she's been with other guys? That's all in the past before she was with you. You're her one and only at the moment. I doubt she's living in the past and thinking about them very often. You're the one who's turning this into an ongoing issue by acting as though it has anything to do with what's going on right now. Whenever these thought start to invade your head, you need to put things in perspective. Otherwise, you're going to end up destroying this relationship.

[kewell10]

Yes, you are being immature. So what if she's been with other guys? That's all in the past before she was with you. You're her one and only at the moment. I doubt she's living in the past and thinking about them very often. You're the one who's turning this into an ongoing issue by acting as though it has anything to do with what's going on right now. Whenever these thought start to invade your head, you need to put things in perspective. Otherwise, you're going to end up destroying this relationship.

I very much understand this all and have tried to put it in my head that it is the past. I don't want to fire up whenever someone brings up the subject. Just over this feeling of insecurity. But how can I trust her when she said she liked me during the spell of one night stands and did nothing but sleep with others and then after it all come to me....just wish I never knew.

[basilandthyme]

I very much understand this all and have tried to put it in my head that it is the past. I don't want to fire up whenever someone brings up the subject. Just over this feeling of insecurity. But how can I trust her when she said she liked me during the spell of one night stands and did nothing but sleep with others and then after it all come to me....just wish I never knew.

I don't understand the lack of trust. Was she cheating on anyone or lying?

[kewell10]

I don't understand the lack of trust. Was she cheating on anyone or lying?

The lack of trust comes before me getting temperamental about the past. Was over one night..she went to shower said to go on her laptop while i waited...went on facebook and it was loged on hers...saw a pic of guy that i know that likes her so was curious so i went into her messages to see if they still contact each other didnt see anything in messages and thought thats strange as i know they talk abit as she told me before. so i searched up hes name and it came with the convo and even though she said she has no feelings what so ever for him, she was flirting with him; quote from message "Awww do you miss me? :p" and since then i have been uneasy about everything. I did bring it up with her and she apologized and said they are just friends but how can i believe her when i know the guy likes her. She has deleted him off facebook to prove that she wont talk to him but she has hes number but deletes all her messages from her phone except friends and family. Is she hiding something from me? And yes i do believe she lies to me just so i dont get upset. Im afraid theres more to her past that she dares not tell me, and i dont want this confrontation as it will lead into us arguing. What do i do....