Break-Up "Break". Help Me Out?

[helpinlove]

Last night my girlfriend of 4 years dropped a bomb on me, and broke up with me. Her reasoning is that in her head I am the perfect guy, but her heart just isnt there at the moment. Keep in mind she is only 18 years old, and I am a few years older. This both of ours longest and serious relationship.

Today, after a few texts, I learn it is a break she wants. Understandable, she is young and we spend a ton of time together (at least 5 days a week). Here are some text quotes from today:

"I'm not looking for anyone else. I am looking for myself. Youve become such a part of me I dont know who I am anymore and what I want".

"I want to spend my summer with you. Listening to music. Camping. Just us. But my heart needs a break. I just need time away".

"If you can take me back you can have me when im ready".

"I ****ing love you. I do. But its not fair to myself or you. So yes I need a break".

I 100% believe her that she wants a break, and I can understand that. My feeling is that she wants to go out and have some fun, before being restricted to one guy forever.

I called her and told her I loved her this morning, and she said it back to me. She promised we will get back together, she just wants time.

Additionally, she has kept all of our pictures up on Facebook, same with all the comments that I left on her page. Just removed the relationship status.

Will this whole get back together thing really happen? In my mind and my heart I hope so, I know this girl is the one I want forever. I would put a ring on her finger if we were older.

Also, I really want to send her flowers but still give her time. Just to remind her that I care. How long should I wait?

[freshlylit]

This type of thing happened to me. And unfortunately it probably means she does want to go have "fun" before being restricted to one guy. People take these "Status" things on facebook and stuff pretty seriously, so to not have that status says shes free to all of her guy friends. Its not like people have to find out though the grape-vine that someone is single, they can instantly know it when she presses enter.

Take some advice from someone who has "been there, done that"... you don't wanna get back with this girl, then find out a long time later about all your friends shes been with while you split up for a week or whatever. So, if you do split up, take that time to have sex with as many of her friends as possible, because she is going to be doing the same. Then, if you do get back together at least you are on the same level. ---- I played the waiting game, I got to hear all the secrets, and give back none... then wanted to throw up. Then you gotta live with those thoughts.

Trust me, as much as you want those thoughts to go away, they wont.

[Woods]

I feel for you but it's normal she wants to split up and do her own thing. It takes a special type of couple to be childhood sweethearts and actually go the distance. People change, they want different things as they get older and she's smart for recognising this in herself and acting on it. She's entering a new phase in her life and if you think her priorities are changing now, well she's got a whole lot more changing to do in her early 20's, too! As for getting back together, you can hold out some hope if you think there may be a chance but really I'd be prepared to let it go. A break is just easier for her to try than splitting up at the moment.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with her. Tell her not to contact you, for any reason other than to get back together. Tell her you're moving on and want to enjoy your summer. Ignore any further contact. If you have a chance at getting back, this is it. Otherwise, you're just going to pine after her while she goes and ****s a bunch of dudes this summer. Drop her, hard.

[Heart Healer]

Hi,

Just keep a low profile for sometime. Don't cease all the contacts with her. Text her, talk to her once every day, ask her how's she doing etc. Your over presence is the reason why she demanded this break from you. She loves you but perhaps is confused on the point whether she should get in a relationship with you or not...or she might just want some time out for herself, redefine herself as an 18 years old girl, have fun, hang out with friends and live a life beyond any restrictions until she permanently ties a knot with you someday.

I suggest, you should wait for sometime. Just ask her to define a time phase until you should wait for her. Obviously, she cant keep you waiting for lifetime. There has to be a defined time period.

If you see, your girlfriend is trying to maintain some distance from you or has started to behave in a weird manner, is ignoring you or something.... its time when you should call off your relationship. But as of now, give her sometime and wait for her coz thats all you can do. Try to trust her when she says she loves you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Heart Healer has good advice if you want to be the bitch she calls up for attention. Have fun talking to her while she ****s the rest of her high school.

[Wakeup]

Two things.

1. If she is so sure she wants you and just needs 'time' apart, then why change her relationship status? Knowing the reason for that (in this day and age of advertising that you're "taken" what would be her reason to discontinue advertising that fact if she's not going to be seeing anyone else while on this so called break?

2. She's told you to back off and give her head and heart a break from all the relationship pressure so the first instict you have is to send her flowers and put the strain on even more. Think about what you're doing and nix the flowers. Give them to her if and when she comes back to being your actual girlfriend.