Facebook????

[msallthetime]

My ex and I have known each other for the majority of our life. We were really good friends when we were younger. We connected back up on Facebook and started seeing each other. He wanted more of a commitment than I was willing to give. He started seeing someone else (without telling me.) I eventually found out and heard all the "I still love you" and blah, blah, blah! So we pretty much ended badly. I gave him a lot of my mind, he got mad at me in return. One of my friends sent some silly messages to his current girlfriend (which I did not know about) and he blamed me and got mad. So we aren't talking for several months. One day I decided to send him a message (we have known each other for 20+ years and I hated to end things so badly) and he responded by telling me to leave him alone. I apologized. I then got a message from his girlfriend telling me to leave him alone. I apologized to here as well, and I left everything alone. He in turn, blocked me on Facebook. A few weeks ago, a mutual friend of ours told me that he and his girlfriend broke up. The SAME day that happened, he unblocked me on Facebook. This was almost a year later. I have always hated we ended things so badly. I am the type of person that needs closure. I have waited to see if he sent me a message and after two weeks, he still hasn't. Should I do anything or just let it be? I want to poke him or something but I haven't. Advice appreciated!

[michelle23]

It didnt work out the first ten times so give up and move on with your life. Meet someone else that the universe doesnt mind you being with. If you were good together-you would be together

[overanxious]

my last relationship started exactly the same way right down to being friends for years......and sadly ended the same way

[Wakeup]

He wanted a more of a commitment then you were willing to give so, he takes that at face value and dates others to try and find someone that will give him what he wants and then when you find out you go psycho on him even though you couldn't give him what he wanted? Really, seriously? You don't want him but no one else can have him either?

Leave him alone for goodness sakes. If he wants to forgive you he knows how to contact you.

[overanxious]

He wanted a more of a commitment then you were willing to give so, he takes that at face value and dates others to try and find someone that will give him what he wants and then when you find out you go psycho on him even though you couldn't give him what he wanted? Really, seriously? You don't want him but no one else can have him either?

Leave him alone for goodness sakes. If he wants to forgive you he knows how to contact you.

"he wanted more of a commitment" is a gray area only those two would understand...unless she explains it to us......he wanted more out of the relationship? still...if they are in the relationship and he starts seeing someone behind her back without telling her....thats shitty and i would go psycho too...in fact thats what i did although my ex didnt actually see the guy...just talking.....but it would make someone go pyscho...and the sad fact is sometimes these people have no idea what they are doing to the other person when they do something like that...or they just flat out dont care

[overanxious]

if you arent getting something you want out of something....end it maturely....walk away and go find something new....dont leave someone hanging

its something i learned the hard way....i was in love....but not getting what i wanted out of it....and i kept threatning to break up because i didnt know how else to get it through....and in turn i got a taste of my own medicine....and it didnt feel very good...in fact it leaves me miserable

[MrProblem]

Learn to leave sleeping dogs lie and move on. Unless he decides to make a move and see what happens then. But if I were you, leave it up to him.

[Wakeup]

"he wanted more of a commitment" is a gray area only those two would understand...unless she explains it to us......he wanted more out of the relationship? still...if they are in the relationship and he starts seeing someone behind her back without telling her....thats shitty and i would go psycho too...in fact thats what i did although my ex didnt actually see the guy...just talking.....but it would make someone go pyscho...and the sad fact is sometimes these people have no idea what they are doing to the other person when they do something like that...or they just flat out dont care

He wanted more of a commitment then she could give him. Anyone who had a healthy self-respect would have done what he did. You see, what he did is the opposite of codependency and desperation. That is very attractive in anyone and as you can see... his good love of self made her go "whoops, what have I done?"

He did what you should have done that being: moved on while telling her to leave him alone.

[msallthetime]

He wanted me to move in. I have kids and I just wasn't ready for that. There was never a discussion of ending things or any of that. No it wasn't serious, we were just seeing each other but when I asked him if he was seeing someone else, he kept telling me he wasn't. I honestly wouldn't have been too upset if he wanted to see other people because I wasn't ready to give him more. It was just the fact he lied to me about it. I have wished for a long time that we could make amends with each other. I don't want to anything from him romantically at all! I just hated to let a friendship end so badly. I know guys aren't always the best at making the first move when things have happened. I know he probably thought if he unblocked me I would be the one to send something to him. I'm just that kind of person but I don't want to look like an idiot.

[overanxious]

He wanted more of a commitment then she could give him. Anyone who had a healthy self-respect would have done what he did. You see, what he did is the opposite of codependency and desperation. That is very attractive in anyone and as you can see... his good love of self made her go "whoops, what have I done?"

He did what you should have done that being: moved on while telling her to leave him alone.

its not cool to still be in a "relationship" with someone and go see someone or talk to someone behind their back....thats what im saying....he lied to her about it while still being with her.....not cool at all....if you want to move on say it and go do it.....its immature "welllll im not going to breakup with you just yet...let me find something else first and then ill do it"....that hurts peoples feelings

people do that shit and then say "i want you to be a part of my life"....really?

[Wakeup]

You know i'm very tired of hearing people say. It wasn't what he/she did/does.. it's that they lied to me. Do people honestly think that we think y'all would be peachy with him seeing other people if he had just told you? Surely if you had any feelings for this man, then knowing he was out dating or even looking for others, that you'd be oh, it's fine because he told me?

If you dont' want to look like an idiot then don't. If he wants to be your friend again then let him contact you. You'll at least know then that it was genuine and he wanted you back in his life if he initiates. Don't impose yourself is my advice.

He wanted me to move in. I have kids and I just wasn't ready for that.

BTW: Kudos for not dragging your children through your relationships until you're sure that it's going to last.

[overanxious]

my ex...i even told her, because things were getting shitty, "if you want to go find or look for something else just tell me"....nope...couldnt do it....even after she started talkign to someone else she still couldnt do it.....for what reason ill never really know....she had to wait it out and push and push till i blew up again

[overanxious]

You know i'm very tired of hearing people say. It wasn't what he/she did/does.. it's that they lied to me. Do people honestly think that we think y'all would be peachy with him seeing other people if he had just told you? Surely if you had any feelings for this man, then knowing he was out dating or even looking for others, that you'd be oh, it's fine because he told me?

If you dont' want to look like an idiot then don't. If he wants to be your friend again then let him contact you. You'll at least know then that it was genuine and he wanted you back in his life if he initiates. Don't impose yourself is my advice.

maybe things wouldnt be peachy....but at least youd know it was done the right way and not behind your back while you are still "seeing" someone

[Wakeup]

my ex...i even told her, because things were getting shitty, "if you want to go find or look for something else just tell me"....nope...couldnt do it....even after she started talkign to someone else she still couldnt do it.....for what reason ill never really know....she had to wait it out and push and push till i blew up again

You'd do well to leave when you're not getting what you want instead of having this thought process that it's better to stay in something unhappy then to be alone. Take back control of your own life and don't be afraid to let go of someone who isn't meeting your needs.

maybe things wouldnt be peachy....but at least youd know it was done the right way and not behind your back while you are still "seeing" someone

They were not in an exclusive relationship. That means and it should be expected that the one you're not exclusive with will likely be exercising their options.

[overanxious]

You'd do well to leave when you're not getting what you want instead of having this thought process that it's better to stay in something unhappy then to be alone. Take back control of your own life and don't be afraid to let go of someone who isn't meeting your needs.



They were not in an exclusive relationship. That means and it should be expected that the one you're not exclusive with will likely be exercising their options.

oh i totally agree with yo about leaving if you arent getting what you want....sometimes though you hold out hope...because you loved someone and sacrificed for them and made them your life...sometimes people hold on too long really....its not just about being alone

how do you know they werent exclusive? the guy asked her to move in? that would suggest exclusiveness to me