No so broken heart, but broken wallet

[Pixie01]

This thread for for the broken hearted I see. I am not so broken over finally having realized my ex would never treat me right, and am relieved he is gone. Over the course of our relationship he was controlling (through passive aggressive means.... for example if he didn't get what he wanted he would just shut me out). He often blamed me for being rude or disrespectful (when I was angry over how I was treated and was standing up for myself). For example, one night I sat in the sofa recliner spot. He stood there and stared silently at me until I said that I want it sometimes too. He said he would not watch tv with me and walked out and did not talk to me for an hour. I went after him and apologized and tried to talk to him, while getting the cold shoulder. Eventually he did watch with us and got "his spot" again. Things like this happened all the time. These were the small things.

The big things were insane. Over the course of our relationship he used $3500 of my money (it is on my Master Cards since we were both students at the time). After living with him 7 months I kicked him out. I was happy about it. He came back crying and said he would treat me better. I dated him for awhile and he kept using me for rides, cigarettes, and even to pay a bill. I became very angry and said that I was trying to date him but he had to stop expecting this from me (if I didn't give him the money he would start the guilt trips and shutting out and pressuring me... anything to manipulate me). Needless to say, dating didn't work out either and I was never so glad to loose a boyfriend. Abit ashamed for putting up with him so long, but relieved to see that my kids were doing well without him (I tried to protect them from alot of what was going on).

We have moved on nicely and the kids and I are doing great. He has harassed me until I changed our phone numbers, which affected my daughter but I was cheery about it and the kids seem to accept it as "he just isn't thinking straight because he is sad". He further harassed us through online and has called me awful names, and tried to use the kids and money to see us.

I stopped replying to him and just continued to block him on every profile he made online. I had my friends do the same when he contacted them. Usually I can see through his manipulation and laugh it off. His emails are full of guilt trips and contradictions and blaming me and telling me how hateful and hurtful I am being. But one thing he said does make me doubt myself. He said that I need to get real. That the real world does not work like this and no-one in their right mind would pay me back if I am ban them from my and the kids' existence. Is he right? Was it wrong of me to think that he should pay me back, even if he is "banned" from seeing us?

[pcmaster]

Sounds like he was heartbroken by someone from begining and he didnt apreciate anything done for him cause he didnt apreciate himself.

Now he dont really want give that money back cause he would just simple give it with no bla bla bla BS if he wanted. Guy must be lonely and trying extract some more love. Sad case.

[Pixie01]

Was it unrealistic to ask for repayment without allowing him to see us? He says that is not the real world. I thought the real world was paying back debts regardless of circumstances.

[pcmaster]

I wouldnt even want to see that kind of person even for getting money back. Anyway theres court too for that kind of stuff.

[VincenzoG91]

It's reasonable to ask for repayment, but unrealistic to expect repayment from such a loser.

[Boisdevie]

It's reasonable to ask for repayment, but unrealistic to expect repayment from such a loser.

Yup, if life was fair I'd get to shag Meg Ryan every night. As for the money you've got no chance of getting it back. Hope you learned your lesson.

[Makeme]

It's reasonable to ask for repayment, but unrealistic to expect repayment from such a loser.

I agree ..

[cookies&cream]

Forget about him. Charge everything to experience and LEARN from it. Going to court takes toooo much finances, time and energy. Karma will get him someday. And, karma's a bitch.