Objective opinion needed

[KENTON22]

My situation is pretty much that my ex, left me for one of her ex's about 5 weeks ago. There have been a couple of texts and emails between us. No phone conversations since February. I am still hurting, and am nearing the end of the grief stage. I still hate the image of them together, but I realize nothing I can do will change it. I was good to her, He was the bad boy. I guess that is what she wants in a man. We were drama free for nearly 4 years.
I have bonded with her kids. Her oldest attends the high school where I work. Her and I are close. She wants me to come to her graduation memorial day weekend. I am leery of seeing my ex and her ex as a couple together. I don't want to let the daughter down either.
Thanx

[Ann S]

Why don't you take her daughter out for a special graduation lunch? Ann

[Rowen]

Why don't you take her daughter out for a special graduation lunch? Ann

No... No, no, no... And I will explain why...

Her oldest attends the high school where I work. [...] She wants me to come to her graduation memorial day weekend.

^ THIS is why, Ann... OP, if you work at the high school she attends, I would be very careful about seeing any member of that family outside of the school if you want to keep your job. I'm not sure how things work in your district or your state, but in mine, it's inappropriate for faculty, even janitors to see someone outside of school intentionally. So, a graduation lunch is out of the question. However, were you involved previously with the graduation ceremony? Even if you weren't, you're still an employee of the institution. So, I would say that it's up to you if you'd like to attend the graduation ceremony. I know this would not jeopardize your job because we have janitors and bus drivers all the time who attend the graduations just to see certain kids they liked joking around with take the next step towards being an adult. So, limit your contact to there...because if this woman does not want you seeing her daughter outside of school, taking the daughter to lunch or something of the like is a good way to land you in the unemployment line. Be CAREFUL.

[Ann S]

Excellent point, Rowan. Ann

[_Richard]

I can see positives and negatives for going and not going.

Seeing your ex in her new relationship will be painful but it will also be a further nail in the coffin of your relationship and might help with closure.

However, realistically how much of a future is there in a continued relationship with this woman's children now that you're apart? Maybe it's time to close this chapter of your life.

If the daughter is old enough to graduate she'll also be old enough to understand your reasons for not being comfortable with attending so if you think you won't be able to cope with it then there's always that option.

As for the lunch, couldn't you do that after she graduates? Isn't the daughter then technically not at the school anymore?

[Rowen]

As for the lunch, couldn't you do that after she graduates? Isn't the daughter then technically not at the school anymore?

Technically, they don't even want you doing that after she's not a student anymore... :S But that's just speaking from experience.

[vmartin143]

I recently got my heart broken, I heard about this new show that helps you get over your ex and answer questions (exandwhycasting.com)
I am thinking about applying, what do you think?