Why are guys such controlling freak?

[leandre maurice]

I'm in a relationship of 5 years with my boyfriend and he has things strange ways. Whenever a guy phones me he wants to know who it is and what the conversation about. He hates it if other guys phone me even his own friends, its so unreal. He wants to know wherever I go and with who I am constantly. Why is he so over protective when it comes to me being around other guys and he checks wherever I go. Does he do it because he feels inferior to other males or because of his insecurities.

[Starnique]

Yes, he could have some insecurites. But personally I don't find this strange. A lot of men are like that when it comes to their girlfriends dealing with other males.

[FlaCooln]

Controlling...Napolean complex maybe? or he has a lack of confidence?

Many dudes are like that. Particularly if their girl is hot and they are shorter then her. My friend is 5'7 and his girl is 5'8 he is always on top of everything she does, won't let her wear heals, and just so controlling that she has to check in all the time. He has clearly got a Napolean/short man complex and that makes him feel inferior. He is working on it though and I have tried my best to help him because she has told me he is sufforcating her.

I have actually had the opposite problem once. One of my exGFs used to check in all time (she was used to controlling guys) and let me know her every move and even asked me for permission to go out with her friends. I am not controlling at all and found this very weird and just told her I don't own you and I trust you so go have fun with your girls. No need for her to be on some GPS monitering system. I just look at it like I'm a great guy and am confident enought to know that she would be an idiot to leave me, so I never worry about it. Also, if a girl is taller than me she is an Amazon or in the WNBA...lol.

[Starnique]

Would do you mean he wont "let" her wear heels? First of all he wouldn't be controlling what I wear.

[FlaCooln]

Would do you mean he wont "let" her wear heels? First of all he wouldn't be controlling what I wear.

I mean exactly that. Since he is shorter than her she cannot wear heals when they are out together. He actually makes her wear flat shoes and I have seen/heard him tell her to do so. IMHO thats terrible, girl looks so nice in a hot dress to go out in and then has to put on some nonsexy shoes.

I dated a girl who was 5'9-5'10 and one day we were going to a big work event/black tie affair. She was dressed to kill, but came downstairs wearing flats. I was like what the hell are you doing get some heals on. She was so happy when she came back down in heals and stood next to me and was still shorter then me. She hugged me and said your the 1st guy I can wear heals with. i just laughed.

So I guess its common for shorter guys to get mad when their girl is wearing heals.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Your boyfriend is not normal. I've experienced one person behaving just like this and he had some crazy outbursts. I guess he was justified though, since I heard him saying all these things to her and making accusations on speaker phone, in between rounds of ****ing his girlfriend.

Is there any reason he's mentioned or is apparent, that's responsible for his insecurity?

FlaCooln, you better give your boy some help. Sooner rather than later, she's gonna meet someone like me. Then he's gonna be in a real bad way.

[FlaCooln]

FlaCooln, you better give your boy some help. Sooner rather than later, she's gonna meet someone like me. Then he's gonna be in a real bad way.

I'm trying, but its rooted so deep in that one. I feel ya though, shes a good looking girl he better watch out I guess.

[Starnique]

wow, some men and their insecurities lol.

But one thing about me is you not going to control what I wear because I'm not tacky and I have great control over that and you're not going to control where I go and who my friends are etc. I don't like shit like that. I'm not going to be controlled, just so he can feel better about himself. Some occassions I may let him "think" he is.

It's all about respect but control, no. Hell no.

[FlaCooln]

wow, some men and their insecurities lol.

But one thing about me is you not going to control what I wear because I'm not tacky and I have great control over that and you're not going to control where I go and who my friends are etc. I don't like shit like that. I'm not going to be controlled, just so he can feel better about himself. Some occassions I may let him "think" he is.

It's all about respect but control, no. Hell no.

And thats how it should be. No confident woman should be ruled or defined by her man. I would never stop a GF from wearing what she wants or having her own life. I love it when she looks sexy, as it makes me feel proud/lucky to be with her.

[VincenzoG91]

OP, do you get a lot of phone calls from guys? Are most of your friends dudes? That can make even a normal guy a little concerned, because guys know how other guys think about women. If you are reasonably attractive, then most of your guy friends want to bang you, and some of them may be actively working towards that under the guise of a fake friendship. Women can be really naive about their guy friends.

On the other hand, if these calls are uncommon and you have plenty of female friends too, then your guy probably is a control freak. Don't let him chase your friends off. But if you want to make this relationship (or any future relationship) last, make sure that you aren't placing your guy friends equal to or above your boyfriend.

[surfhb2]

I'm in a relationship of 5 years with my boyfriend and he has things strange ways. Whenever a guy phones me he wants to know who it is and what the conversation about. He hates it if other guys phone me even his own friends, its so unreal. He wants to know wherever I go and with who I am constantly. Why is he so over protective when it comes to me being around other guys and he checks wherever I go. Does he do it because he feels inferior to other males or because of his insecurities.

The fact you put up with this for 5 years doesn't say a whole lot for your self worth.

[_Richard]

Firstly, not all guys are this controlling and nor is this kind of behaviour exclusive to guys

Most people get a little jealous from time to time but this level of control and distrust seems excessive to me, a little worrying even.

Having said that, depending on how many guy friends you have and how much time you spend talking with them or seeing them it may be that some adjustment is required on your part.

It's very hard to say without knowing more about your situation.

Is he nasty and aggressive in the way he expresses this distrust?

[Starnique]

And if a man is treating his woman right in the first place, he don't have to control her. Everything he wants he can pretty much get.

[Rowen]

Honestly, the behavior you're describing could be caused by any number of things... Have you ever tried talking to him about it? My guess is yes because you're here... And if you have, then I think you need to ask yourself, seriously, can you live with this?

[HeartIsAching]

I'm in a relationship of 5 years with my boyfriend and he has things strange ways. Whenever a guy phones me he wants to know who it is and what the conversation about. He hates it if other guys phone me even his own friends, its so unreal. He wants to know wherever I go and with who I am constantly. Why is he so over protective when it comes to me being around other guys and he checks wherever I go. Does he do it because he feels inferior to other males or because of his insecurities.

Why are women such control freaks?