Should I tell him?

[milou]

Hi Everybody!

I need help and advice on what to do...
I have been almost 2 years with my boyfriend and we are very in love, we are planning on getting engaged and married.
Due to work, we have a distance relationship for about 6 months.

My problem is:
Now that we are far from each other, I am starting to think a loot and I remember something that I did at the very beginning of our relationship and I feel very guilty...
We were dating for about 3 weeks, and I had just moved to los angeles from a foreign country, I did not know how dating worked in the us at that time, and my coworkers told me that at the begining, relationship was not exclusive in LA!! I thought it was weird but since they were from there, I believed. So I was freaking out a little bit, thinking that my boyfriend might be seing other people...
So 1 night I went out to the club with some friends (3 weeks after we met with my boyfriend) and I was a little drunk.
One of my girlfriend who was completely drunk wanted to go to the VIP section next to the DJ of a famous club in hollywood, I did not really care, but she wanted to partay like crazy and kinda "forced"me to go with her. There was a "bodyguard" much older than me and not good looking at all, keeping the VIP section, she talk to him in his hear and told me it's ok we can go! I said fine.. not really enthusiatic.. and I did not even get the chance to realize what happened she kissed that bodyguard and he let her in and she pulled me to do the same. It was really a quick kiss that disgusted me and It happen so fast. I did not even want to do that or go in that VIP section.
I was just being stupid and wanted to make my friend happy. Now all that story came back to my memories and I am feeling so guilty.
I dont know if that count as cheating or not, if I should tell my boyfriend.
I did not want to do that but I did it without thinking to follow her, and then I wanted to vomit right away. I have never done things like that before and I feel disgusted about myself.

Please I need help, I don't know what to do..

Thank you,

Milou

[Maple1714]

Umm....really? You are worried about kissing a door guy years ago? Let it go.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

That is one of the most heinous forms of cheating. You have to tell him, or your whole relationship is a sham. Just reading this filth disgusts me.

[pcmaster]

relationship was not exclusive in LA!! I thought it was weird but since they were from there, I believed

LOL thats cool. You know marriage is not exlusive too. How old were you anyway?

Yes tell him - share your guilt. He will understand. Its not cock sucking anyway.

[michelle23]

i dont think you should tell him. theres no point hurting him and breaking his trust over a very brief kiss that you didnt even want to do. let it go and forgive yourself. if it was more than that-id say tell him but i dont think its a big deal really since you were "disgusted by it" and only did it to get into the club to make your friend happy. plus you were not "exclusive" then and at the time it wasnt important

[milou]

Thank you for your message, I don't know if he will understand..
I was 25 not that young.. but my coworkers were all gay guys and did not have any serious relationship, they convinced me that until 3 months, the relationships were not exclusive.. they told me that ppl could date others ppl openly up to 3 months.. I was like what?? but anyway.. it's probably like that in the party world.
So I kinda freakout and started thinking that he might be seing other ppl, which I know now he did not..
Anyway this was not intentionally, and when I did it, it was like half of a second and I close my eyes in disgust.
I know all that might sound ridiculous and hilarious, but I am not sure he will find that hilarious....

[pcmaster]

You love him too much. That kiss didnt harm him anyway but now you do harm him by feeling bad about it when his girl deserves to be happy.

[_Richard]

Assuming you'd never do this again and that you regret it then I think the anguish you're feeling is all the penance you need to do.

I don't see any need to tell him. It's so long ago and meant nothing.

Just forgive yourself and move on.

[FlaCooln]

Don't tell him. If you did it would only be for you. But, if I was in the same situation and you told me I wouldn't be mad and tell you not to worry about it and never even think about it again. Shoot you could have popped a titty out and probably wouldn't have been mad b/c it was not a sexual/desire thing it was just to get into VIP.

That wasn't cheating, that was using your goods in a platonic manner to get free shit..lol. Plus, 3 weeks in...you barely new him. No big deal.

[pcmaster]

you could have popped a titty out

Anything for the vip lol

[FlaCooln]

Anything for the vip lol

Only if I could show my chest and get VIP...lol. Maybe at a gay club..lol

[pcmaster]

You will get in when Rowen wil guard the VIP section.

[michelle23]

OP a quick peck in disgust is not cheating lol. jeez i kiss everyone-pecks on the cheek, hugs it doesnt mean anything and me and my mates have opten kissed bouncers on the way in so they wouldnt ask for ID haha

seriously you need to relax! it was nothing. stop beating yourself up over it. you obviously love him, youve never betrayed his trust and your planning on marrying him. focus on all the good things and enjoy what you have xx

[milou]

Thank you for all the replies!

[toknow]

It's a tough one. I was expecting worse though, though this is pretty bad, too.

Several things can happen if you tell him. One he will forgive you and think that if you are so honest with him about something like this, then he can trust you for bigger things and this might actually make him trust you more.
On the other hand, it could do the opposite. He could start mistrusting you from that point on. It's really a tough decision.

People don't realize that when you do things like that, it cheapens the kiss for your loved one. For your relationship to be special you have to do things that only you do with your loved one. When you kiss, don't give away your kisses to just anyone, or they won't be special, anymore. For something to be real and lasting it has to have a meaning, it has to be dignified, pure, honest. What is a person without principles. Your actions define you, and they can destroy you, or make you beautiful.