interested in girl that got out of an engagement months back...

[sportsfan1]

I've been chatting daily with a girl for around 3 months now,though haven't met yet. Strictly on facebook and text message,that first started on a dating site. Right now,she's only looking for friends that she got out of an engagement 4-5 months ago,where her ex broke it off. I have gained interest in her through out the months,and it's not that I don't want to meet her,just don't want to meet,hang out and fall into that friend trap due to her mindset. Especially,I've been burned enough in the past with girls,so little hesitant. Compared to hanging out with her,when she had a different mindset. hang out,yet dating on the mind overall.

Now I've had thoughts about popping her a message,just stating my interest here,but same time know nothing is gonna happen due to her situation,but just to give her something to think about. Opinions,if I spilled interest,could that possibly make things awkward for her,or if I worded it a certain way,hoping that wouldn't happen. I've never been engaged,plus for one to end,to get an idea how long it might take her to be ready again. Just been going back and forth mentally on what to do here.

[Ann S]

I can't speak for all women, but sometimes, we give mixed messages. Sometimes, we say, "Oh, I'm just into friends right now," when we mean, "I hope you pursue me." I think you should suggest that the two of you meet and see what happens! If you don't, you'll still be wondering, and she'll be off with another guy! Ann

[basilandthyme]

I'm more literal than Ann. I will say that if a person is only looking for friends, believe them.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just ask her to meet up with you. Do not get into your feelings.

[IndiReloaded]

I've never been engaged,plus for one to end,to get an idea how long it might take her to be ready again. Just been going back and forth mentally on what to do here.

You've never even met. Its too early for you to be thinking about when she might be 'ready again' (for an engagement? you want to get married, I guess?). Slow down your own expectations, man. That's more likely to frighten a lady off than anything else.

As for how long to recover, it depends how long they were together. 4-5 months isn't very long; most people will tell you it takes at least a year or two to heal from a long term relationship/marriage. Also, the fact he broke off with her, and not the reverse, means she will take longer to get over him. The dumpee is generally worse off than the dumper, but not always. Hope this helps.

[michelle23]

I agree with Indi. If they were together less than a year-shell probably be over him within 6 months. However in a long term relationship-it could take two years or longer to heal. Its similar to the death of a loved one and she has to grieve the loss. Right now she is emotionally unavailable so even if you tick all the boxes and are her dream man-it wont make any difference. You will just be a rebound because her heart is fragile, shes vulnerable, probably insecure, her self-esteem is low, her confidence knocked and it will take time to put all the broken pieces back together. Shes probably angry too and bitter that he proposed and then dumped her. Thats like rubbing salt into an open wound because he made a huge promise to her and she thought it was for keeps. It was cruel.

Id say if you want to avoid getting hurt-stay away from this girl. Even if she tries to force herself to love you and be happy with you she will not be able to until she is over her ex.