Confused

[Lovelyluv]

I have been in a relationship for almost two years and for 1 ½ years of it, I have been miserable. Initially we met about ten years ago when we were in college and were friendly. He was a little older and tried to date me but a mutual friend told me horrible things about him and I stayed away from him (I later found out that the mutual friend was not credible and lied). Fast forward years later, we reconnect on social media and start dating. I was seeing other people and was honest with him about it. He was sweet and made it no secret that he thought I was ‘the one’ for him. So he continued to pursue me. Eventually, we were exclusive. I relocated to be with him and that’s when everything changed. He was possessive, controlling, and manipulative. I lived with him and I discovered that he was video recording me and put spyware on my cell. I was communicating to an ex because I was so miserable. Recently, I moved out and we have been trying to work on the relationship but I cannot shake the things he’s done. I was wrong to communicate with an ex, but how can I forgive him? How do I know he won’t do it again? Please help!

[basilandthyme]

Let me guess: he was possessive, controlling and manipulative until you couldn't take it any more and moved out. Then he promised to change.

Hon, this is standard MO for an emotional abuser. Of course he will do it again. You'd be extremely naïve to believe otherwise. Move back home and start over without him. When you've gotten over all the shock, you'll realise that you've dodged a bullet.

[Boisdevie]

Recently, I moved out and we have been trying to work on the relationship

Why bother. You've had a shi.t relationship but you're trying to work on it? Are you ****ing crazy?
One of my rules of life is this:
If people treat me like shi.te I do my best to avoid them. Why not try doing the same. Or shut the **** up and enjoy the pain because that's all you're going to get.

[Lovelyluv]

Its definitely been a horrible relationship. He makes me feel guilty because I was talking to someone else, like I drove him to be controlling, possessive, etc. @BasilandThymy, you're right, I couldnt take it and left. Of course, he promises to change now. I cant move forward in this, I have a lot of resentment and I find myself angry at him most of the time. Thanks.

[davonr]

if he was possessive, controlling and manipulative then you have to moved on.manipulative is worst part in relationship intead of this there should be trust and sharing each other feelings