Girl from work, adivce needed!

[ldn847]

I'll try to make this as short as i can.

Theres a girl at work who started maybe a year ago, we work in different departments so never really needed to speak or even see each other. I was told that she has a "thing" for me by another girl colleague but didnt really think anything of it. She added me on Facebook one day so i accepted as you do, it says shes in a relationship so i never thought anything of it. We started to speak a bit as we bumped into each other around the company, nothing major just hi how are you, good day that sort of stuff. One weekend she messages me on Facebook and carry's on for the whole day / weekend. This continued into the week and didnt stop. We went shopping together one night after work not long after the 1st message, maybe a week or two. I saw this as just friends as i know she has a bf, but we did have a good time. She continued the messaged and started to ring me at least a few times a week, would always come over to my desk and made no mistake about telling me how unhappy she is with her bf. I didnt really know how to take it but i get on well with her so i just tried to be friendly but not to friendly, as we spent more time together we got more and more flirty. We've been out a few times on our own, she tried to kiss me at a work night not so long ago then a short while after at another one she got jealous when i was dancing with another girl and wouldnt speak to me. We had a chat about it and she admits why she with someone she cant get jealous over what i do. We went out again for some food and drinks and she kept saying how it feels like a date. Since then shes been very off with me, she says that she wants to sort what she wants with her bf but then she'll start flirting again. I really get the feeling that there is something there between us but we both wont admit it, tbh i dont even know how i feel totally. I know she does the whole messaging thing with other blokes from work, i dunno if shes just a messer / game player or if she does actually like me. Im very confused about the whole thing, i dunno if she wants me to tell her i like her so she can leave her bf? We're starting to argue over little things now and im feeling very tense and it probably seems like ive got the right hump with her. We said we'll have a talk about it sometime in the week, so should i just be completely honest and ask her straight what she wants? or should i just forget the whole thing?

Thoughts on what i should do and what you think she wants please?

Thanks.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Next time you go out with her, make a move on her. Kiss her. It will probably lead to more, but either way she's a cheater/game player, so don't get involved emotionally. **** her, and drop her or she's gonna keep messing with your head. She's not going to leave her boyfriend to date you, so don't make that your goal.

[ldn847]

We're going for a chat this week but theres gonna be no drink involved (her idea not mine, i think because she knows she cant trust herself?), i was gonna ask her straight what shes want, i was actually thinking of making a move tbh, shes already ****ed with my head and im starting to lose interest / patience. Im not saying i want to date her because i dont think i could, i couldnt trust her but you dont think thats in her thinking atall?

[michelle23]

I disagree with backup. Just tell her to **** off. Shes a loser and not worth your time. You would never be able to trust her and your emotions are already involved. Tell her to leave you alone and dont waste any more time on her.

You should also tell her bf what shes up to behind his back. Never listen to someone who bitches about their bf to you. If he was that bad she would have dumped him. Shes manipulating you and probably him too.

[ldn847]

I disagree with backup. Just tell her to **** off. Shes a loser and not worth your time. You would never be able to trust her and your emotions are already involved. Tell her to leave you alone and dont waste any more time on her.

You should also tell her bf what shes up to behind his back. Never listen to someone who bitches about their bf to you. If he was that bad she would have dumped him. Shes manipulating you and probably him too.

I agree with the bit about she would have dumped him, i thought that all along the only thing is she tells everyone, male and female that shes not happy with him. Still saying that yeah i dont believe she will leave him any time soon.

[michelle23]

We see stories like yours all the time. Here is an example for you http://www.loveforum.net/threads/79660-Me-and-my-friend-have-feelings-for-each-other-but-big-problems

Look the girl is unhappy in her relationship but that is no excuse for her to line up a plan B before she dumps him. That is the cowards way out and it is unfair to everyone involved.

You need to stay away from her and move on with your life. She really is not worth it. Go and find yourself a real girlfriend who is single and ready to be yours.

Good luck

[ldn847]

I just had a quick look through the thread you linked. I done the whole no contact thing and she didnt like it, now shes doing the same to me. i think she's realized she's been completely out of order on her bf which tbh i understand, but shes being unfair on me by not being honest? she can say it was friends as much as she likes but i think we both, and probably you reading, that it clearly wasnt and was leading somewhere else?? maybe i was wrong to let it get that far but tbh i never wanted it to. i cant just completely stay away as much as i know thats maybe the right thing to do as we work together and i dont want any atmosphere at work as ive got enough to deal with with my work. She wants to know what shes done, which is why we are having this talk so should i just tell her shes acted like a cheating b**** been completely out of order to both me and her bf and we should just leave it there or ask her straight out what she wants?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't bother asking what she wants. She obviously either doesn't know, or doesn't want you to know. I say you do her dirty then, leave her high and dry, to teach her a lesson, but I'm a vindictive person and I will tell you that it does feel great. Conventional wisdom would suggest you just stop talking to her altogether.

[michelle23]

so should i just tell her shes acted like a cheating b**** been completely out of order to both me and her bf and we should just leave it there

Do this. You are right that you and she were not just "friends". Its called an emotional affair and if you were both single youd probably be together by now but shes not and she has been unfair to her bf. You shouldnt even bother meeting her. Just tell her you and she cannot be friends anymore and leave it at that. Tell her go and talk to someone else about her "relationship problems" and either try to fix whatever is wrong with him or leave him. Its that simple.

You can stay away. You work in different departments and you can just ignore her if you see her or even say hello and be polite but leave it at that.

Even is she does become single-you cannot trust her so I recommend you just accept its not going to happen because you want better than that

[Starnique]

^^^^ smh lol

[michelle23]

what does smh mean? lol

[pcmaster]

I think it means laught with closed lips.

[ldn847]

Backup - i think your right about not wanting me to know, tbh i think at first she just wanted the attention and now its become more than that shes s*** it.

Michelle - i think your right as well, shes messed with my mind and i know that. even if she was to say she wants to be with me i know id be crazy to let it happen but i cant help that im feeling confused.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

what does smh mean? lol

It means Shaking My Head.

[Starnique]

what does smh mean? lol

Shaking my head hahaha