how long should i wait until asking my girlfriend for an oral pleasure?

**Valixy** · 24-04-13, 04:07 AM

Maybe you should try to stimulate her mentally first, create an attraction towards it. When you think that you could have an intimate moment together and have created a special atmosphere, take some time talk to her about sex, describe to her how you would like it to be. It's like having a mental sexual encounter with her first...Tell her what you would like to do to her, what you would like her to do you...Describe it passionately, arise her imagination, make her want to do and live all that with you...Touch her gently from time to time, just teasing her... The mental foreplay should be followed by the physical one...Guide her towards it... Tell her you love her... Let her know how much you enjoy it even if she's only taking small initiatives towards it... Try again next time...

**michelle23** · 24-04-13, 04:28 AM

Thats a really good idea valixy. OP try some phone sex or text sex. Describe your fantasies to each other. Could really work and be a lot of fun

**searock** · 24-04-13, 04:42 AM

Originally Posted by FlaCooln

I heard one the other day from Betty White....

“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

Thats an AWESOME old lady!...lol.

Hah, love that quote

but it appears it's not actually Betty White's: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2012/nov/10/betty-white-golden-girl

Anyway, I think the OP should make her want it... by showing/telling her how much it would turn him on. He could text her something like "you know what would really turn me on..." and wait for her to reply, making her curious and willing to please him... I know it would work for me :-).

**Wakeup** · 24-04-13, 04:46 AM

Ugh.. why do you young people need to text your intimacy? This is something that he should be doing face to face to build their face to face intimate moments. Texting is superficial and should only be used if they're going to be away from one another for a while. IMNSHO. She needs to trust him and that trust will come with their experience with one another in bed. Not with words, but with tangible actions that back up his words in the moment.

To Add: I think Valixy had a great idea but I don't think she was advising he do anything she suggest over text.

**Valixy** · 24-04-13, 05:06 AM

No, I wasn't thinking of texting initially, but whatever works for them, really

**searock** · 24-04-13, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Ugh.. why do you young people need to text your intimacy? This is something that he should be doing face to face to build their face to face intimate moments. Texting is superficial and should only be used if they're going to be away from one another for a while. IMNSHO. She needs to trust him and that trust will come with their experience with one another in bed. Not with words, but with tangible actions that back up his words in the moment.

To Add: I think Valixy had a great idea but I don't think she was advising he do anything she suggest over text.

For people in my generation and younger, texting is absolutely not superficial, not per se. It's just another way of communicating. Sometimes it can actually be even more intimate than face to face conversation, because when you text you are less shy, so you can open up more. If she has problems with shyness, it would actually be a perfect solution. Obviously, texting alone is no substitute for face to face intimacy. It would be just a helpful, fun supplement :-).

**Wakeup** · 24-04-13, 05:35 AM

For people in my generation and younger, texting is absolutely not superficial, not per se. It's just another way of communicating. Sometimes it can actually be even more intimate than face to face conversation, because when you text you are less shy, so you can open up more. If she has problems with shyness, it would actually be a perfect solution. Obviously, texting alone is no substitute for face to face intimacy. It would be just a helpful, fun supplement :-).

Texting has it's place, but not in this instance (IMO).

Imagine being able to actually learn to do all that you say in text while looking at who you're sending those sentiments to? Too many people do not know how to communicate face to face this day and age and texting is okay once you have learned to say what needs to be said whether serious, sexy or in anger while looking at who you are talking to.

If he can teach her through physical touch while verbally communicating then they will have bonded in the ultimate sense. I think texting would be fun AFTER she learns to feel safe speaking to him about anything and having already done what he wants her to do. Then, after that phase, it's a supplement and not a subsitute to true intimacy, trust and being able to articulate freely while in the moment.

Just my two cents from an old broad: OP, teach her in the moment. Have fun with it through text when you're away from her AFTER you've made her feel passionate enough and feeling safe enough to take you in her mouth. Facial expressions and voice inflection have a lot of weight in these types of situations.

**michelle23** · 24-04-13, 05:54 AM

No i actually love sexting. Its so much fun and you can just say what you want without feeling embarressed or shy. Its great in the "getting to no each other" stage when the topic of sex first comes up. You can create some sexual tension and then your ready to be all over each other on the next date.

I think its better than just going at it without ever talking about it. Nothing worse than awkward sex..

**Wakeup** · 24-04-13, 05:56 AM

Most people do love sexting. I'm advocating they do the sexting AFTER he gets his blowjob. If Op does what Valixy suggested, the sex will be anything but "awkward."

**searock** · 24-04-13, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by michelle23

No i actually love sexting. Its so much fun and you can just say what you want without feeling embarressed or shy. Its great in the "getting to no each other" stage when the topic of sex first comes up. You can create some sexual tensionand then your ready to be all over each other on the next date.

Agreed, especially the bolded part, in this case.

Wakeup, sexting before he gets his blowjob would take nothing away from their intimacy: it would just grow more intense and strong as soon as they see each other again. That's what sexting does... it creates sexual tension that makes you want to rip the other person's clothes off the next time you see them

. Once that's done, intimacy just gets stronger.

**Wakeup** · 24-04-13, 06:18 AM

Well, like I said, I'm from a different generation that learned how to "get to know someone" by interacting face to face and building intimacy through one-on-on action and verbal communication. I just hope you're not insenstive enough to ask for a blow job over text, Op. ;o)

That's all I'm gonna say on that subject.

**searock** · 24-04-13, 06:25 AM

Haha, I also hope he won't explicitly ask for a bj over text XD! That would totally kill the romance and sexual tension... he should intrigue her and make her curious about what would turn him on... make her intrigued. Some guys are crap at this though XD so it could go horribly wrong with him texting her something like "I think you should give me a blowjob"...

OP, what do you think? What would you feel more comfortable with? This is what matters... you should find a way to communicate your desires to her, that makes you feel the most comfortable and confident. You don't want to come off as needy or selfish or anything of the sort... make it playful. If face to face is what you feel more comfortable with, try telling her something silly and playful like "*insert name of your penis* feels lonely today... how about you give it a kiss

?", haha, it all depends on the tone of your voice and your body language while you say it... you need to feel confident and sexy and if she is into you, she'll do anything you want if you just ask :-).

**michelle23** · 24-04-13, 06:54 AM

No i dont think he should ask for a bj either but he coud bring it up by askiing describe in detail what youd like me to do to you

and then when she asks the qs back-hes golden.

Its fun and itl drop a hint without making it obvious. Its better than her getting all defensive if he asks "why havnt you given me a bj"?

It really helped me communicate with my first bf-made me feel more comfortable around him and it defo got rid of the shyness.

**michelle23** · 24-04-13, 07:01 AM

I do agree wakeup that face to face is better but thats when your both already initiating and teaching what you both like etc etc.

It is difficult to flat out ask for something your not getting without making the other feel bad. Its different if your making an unsual request but as far as bjs go-there normal and he has to be careful how he goes about it without making her feel obligated to do it. She should enjoy it and it should feel like its her idea.

The first time i gave my bf one-i was nervous and afraid id do it wrong but i just thought feck irt and went for it. I felt real good bout myself when he came and i new he loved it. It was the same the first time he initiated oral-prob was a little nervous but didnt show it and i could tell he enjoyed doing it as much as i loved recieving.

You just gotta hint you want it OP-once it happens once-it prob wont be an issue anymore

**Wakeup** · 24-04-13, 11:07 PM

Gosh, whatever did us old fks do to get our needs met without text? Things that make you go "hmmmmmm"

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