Lack of physical attraction?

[bearz]

I understand that and I feel bad about it. It hurt having to tell her that. But you don't ask very detailed and specific questions when you already know what the answer is going to be.

[pcmaster]

Try to bang her, then see how it goes. You cant tell before you try. Atractive or not, there is many layers of beauty. Sometimes you just have to looks harder or deeper.

[bearz]

That's exactly what we came up with last night... only way for her to know is if I could actually have sex with her. Anything else would never be enough for her.

[pcmaster]

Cool that means you have available girl who wont settle for less than sex. You lucky bastart.

[basilandthyme]

How's does one become mentality attracted without physical first? Is this an on line thing?

It's called a friendship.

[michelle23]

Maybe you should just do it. If your both happy to knowing it may not lead anywhere and you can gain some expefience from each other and hae some fun-i dont see y not.

As long as your both aware its prob not gonna work long term-itl be okay.

[michelle23]

Ps sorry didnt delete inbox yet. Im on my phone. Will soon

[surfhb2]

It's called a friendship.

This is a love forum, not a friendship forum. I've never heard of a guy falling for a girl while thinking she was unattractive physically

[TablesandChairs]

In retrospect, one of my ex's was not attractive at all...yet I thought he was the most desirable guy in the world at the time because I loved him. He had an amazing personality but the physical aspect (kind of skinny and lanky) was not something I had been super attracted to in the past.

Some guys like their women heavier/others like them skinny...whatever. You can't help that. Decide now before you hurt her. She too deserves someone who isn't constantly thinking 'gee i wish she looked different'.

[michelle23]

Its one thing him/her not being your typical type ^^ but when there body kinda repulses you its another entirely. You can grow to appreciate beauty in anyone with the right personality/emotional connection but you cannot force yourself to feel that chemistry. No way

[FlaCooln]

I dated a girl a number of years ago who I was only so so attracted to. Her body was good, but face not quite for me. Since her personality was awesome I decided to give her a chance. Well I could have sex w/her once and get the release, but I never wanted to go for round two. I almost felt as if I had to trick myself into climaxing and really had to work for it, as if I didn't sex would take way too long and she would wonder why.

I just boiled it down to she doesn't excite me enough, so I lost interest and broke up w/her.

[michelle23]

I dated a girl a number of years ago who I was only so so attracted to. Her body was good, but face not quite for me. Since her personality was awesome I decided to give her a chance. Well I could have sex w/her once and get the release, but I never wanted to go for round two. I almost felt as if I had to trick myself into climaxing and really had to work for it, as if I didn't sex would take way too long and she would wonder why.

I just boiled it down to she doesn't excite me enough, so I lost interest and broke up w/her.

I had the same problem except I didnt have sex with him at all. I told him we can fool around if he likes but gave a few excuses for no sex lol. Anyway he was too nervous to make a move so nothing happened. But ya I agree completely. I think you do need attraction.

[bcgirl]

K let's cut the crap on women in their 90's being gorgeous and beauty is within etc. C'mon, those playboy bunnies and Kim Kardashian ain't the smartest tools in the shed but sex appeal sells. Maple, you just turned 30 so I doubt you'll be singing the same song when you are 50. Lets take a poll of a hundred men and ask them which Christy Brinkley they wanna bang, the hot, tight one in her 20's or the hot Christy in her 50's. even super models can't escape the lack of sex appeal that comes with an aging woman. The beauty industry to stay young is a multi trillion dollar industry. When the market crashed and everyone was cutting back, the beauty industry was the only one that didn't take a hit. Women want to look young. Why? Because from an evolutionary stand point, men are attracted to fertility. Youth and beauty = fertile women. Can't help the way god wired men. With modern advancements, we've now been able to shed years off women. Botox and fillers are the new age. Now you too can look like Jennifer Anniston in her mid 40's if you can afford it. Every woman wants to feel as though their husbands/bf's are attracted to them and aren't drooling over some perky boobs/perky ass , flat tummy 20 yr old. Lets face it, truth is that skins elasticity sucks beyond a certain age...meaning your skin won't bounce back like it used to which means you will have to work super extra hard to get that perky butt and boob look. And also let's face it that metabolism slows majorly down at a certain age so you'll have to again work super extra hard with except size and dieting to maintain a physique of a 20 yr old...and really, what average, normal working middle aged woman has the time for that. So for the OP, your bf is insensitive to tell you such things. You should dump him because he most likely will cheat on you with a "trophy girl"

[michelle23]

That is very cynical ^^ you think men dont feel inadequate when they are aging? beauty is only skin deep. The media makes it look like its the only important thing. People are still attracted to each other when they are older-unless you completely let yourself go and put on 20stone-nobody is going to judge you. A few lines and wrinkles dont make you ugly.

And most older men want a woman of the same maturity as him and dont expect her to be perfect coz hes not perfect. Only narcissists want a throphy thats 30 years younger.

Im 23 and I am not cynical about getting older-it doesnt scare me.

[bearz]

So for the OP, your bf is insensitive to tell you such things. You should dump him because he most likely will cheat on you with a "trophy girl"

Good job reading the original post.