long distance broken hearted....male insight needed

[Nikk]

I wonder if you would mind giving me your opinion on how things ended with us. We were in a long-distance relationship, after meeting on a volunteering project over summer. Things were going well, we texted everyday, called a few times a week and skyped once a week. After 8 weeks apart I went to visit him, it was the first time we had seen each other since summer. The visit was less than ideal and I could kick myself for how I behaved while I was there. Well we were intimate pretty quickly and I think I said something that may have upset him, it was quite an intimate thing so I won’t share it here, either way he said that he felt emasculated (obviously a big mistake on my part, I didn’t mean to make him feel like this). Later the same night, things were heating up again between us but things weren’t exactly working on his end and I got upset, I cried and clearly this was a mistake. Later in the visit we were chatting about going to see a show and I told him that I had never been to one and he said that if we’re still together by my birthday then he would take me, later I got upset about the fact that he said “if”. The night before I was due to leave I told him that I had never liked anyone as much as him, and that I felt closer to him for having seen him, he said he felt closer to me too!!
2 weeks after the visit he called me up to end it, and I believe my behaviour was the main factor, my friends have tried to reassure me otherwise, that it was the distance but I’m not convinced. It been really getting me down that I’ve lost a good man and it’s my own stupid fault. I know I was not acting from a place of confidence or my true feminine self and that I let fear rule my emotions while I was there. I would love love love to know what you think and if you have any advice for me. The whole situation has been really getting me down and I can’t seem to put it behind me, I know he’s moved on but I can’t seem to, I know we were only together for a short while but he was the first guy that I had liked in a long time and properly connected with. Ideally I would love to get back together but I know that this is unlikely but your advice would be so wonderful.

[madotnw_nihs]

Long D is also always a difficult proposition. Compounding that with some of your actions made it quite easy for him to leave. My general thought on long d is that you must have a very solid relationship before parting. Also, there needs to be a finish line for the distance to end. From what you told us, try not to over analyze everything your bf does. He is going to feel the pressure you are placing on him.

[lamobatsman]

U have to tell us wat u did or said for us to understand

[Boisdevie]

U have to tell us wat u did or said for us to understand

Bet she said something about the small size of his willy.

[juraiknight]

I wonder if you would mind giving me your opinion on how things ended with us. We were in a long-distance relationship, after meeting on a volunteering project over summer. Things were going well, we texted everyday, called a few times a week and skyped once a week. After 8 weeks apart I went to visit him, it was the first time we had seen each other since summer. The visit was less than ideal and I could kick myself for how I behaved while I was there. Well we were intimate pretty quickly and I think I said something that may have upset him, it was quite an intimate thing so I won’t share it here, either way he said that he felt emasculated (obviously a big mistake on my part, I didn’t mean to make him feel like this). Later the same night, things were heating up again between us but things weren’t exactly working on his end and I got upset, I cried and clearly this was a mistake. Later in the visit we were chatting about going to see a show and I told him that I had never been to one and he said that if we’re still together by my birthday then he would take me, later I got upset about the fact that he said “if”. The night before I was due to leave I told him that I had never liked anyone as much as him, and that I felt closer to him for having seen him, he said he felt closer to me too!!
2 weeks after the visit he called me up to end it, and I believe my behaviour was the main factor, my friends have tried to reassure me otherwise, that it was the distance but I’m not convinced. It been really getting me down that I’ve lost a good man and it’s my own stupid fault. I know I was not acting from a place of confidence or my true feminine self and that I let fear rule my emotions while I was there. I would love love love to know what you think and if you have any advice for me. The whole situation has been really getting me down and I can’t seem to put it behind me, I know he’s moved on but I can’t seem to, I know we were only together for a short while but he was the first guy that I had liked in a long time and properly connected with. Ideally I would love to get back together but I know that this is unlikely but your advice would be so wonderful.

I've dipped in the dirty pool known as long distance relationships. More than once, unfortunately, and the last time ended with me getting stood up in Vegas, a city I had never been to, for three days. I can tell you from experience that it wasn't how you acted, it was the long distance relationship. It seems to me that maybe because it's because you've not liked someone for a while, that you've become bitten with the love bug and stopped thinking about the situation objectively and instead started thinking about it with your emotions, which always leads to self blame. Now, what may or may not have been said could have hurt his feelings, and the whole getting upset because of the word "if" was a tad much, but honestly it was the distance and the uncertainty of the people in this "relationship" that drove it asunder.

Despite what you think, the blame is really shifted on the "unknown" aspect of a long distance relationship. Unknowns like "will there be a future?", "do I really know this person?", "Do they really know me and will they even like that?", are just some of the questions situations like this will bring up. As much as you want to believe it does, long distance relationships never work. Too many unknowns and not enough knowns to fill it, ya dig? Chip up, there is never "one good man" out there, it just seems that way because you're dwelling on the good times and not thinking about the opposite side of the spectrum. I would try and forget the wants of getting back together, because I believe it would be a waste of time even if you guys did get back together. Hope this helps.

[juraiknight]

Besides, as a dude, we hate being tied down or pressured especially if we haven't had the time to really know the girl or if the girl (especially ones we've just met) is putting any kind of lock on things. We tend to wig out over shit like that lol.

[basilandthyme]

Besides, as a dude, we hate being tied down or pressured especially if we haven't had the time to really know the girl or if the girl (especially ones we've just met) is putting any kind of lock on things. We tend to wig out over shit like that lol.

Juraiknight - it's not just guys. There's no way I'd tie myself down to a man I'd just met.

[juraiknight]

Juraiknight - it's not just guys. There's no way I'd tie myself down to a man I'd just met.

ha, touche!

[HeheMan]

"We were in a long-distance relationship"

That's how.

NEXT.

[pcmaster]

Whatever you said he might not forget it. Once we get told something insulting from people that opinion matters to us its not gona leave our head. Say you didnt mean it that way. Hes overly sensitive anyway - maybe because his heart is open.