Complicated relationship with a dancer

[pcmaster]

Where is that knife threating whore topic?

[michelle23]

i cant remember where but her bf is the reason she started stripping in the first place. sounds like a horrible relationship to me.

[pcmaster]

Thats unique relationship. Love really makes you do crazyiest things.

[Starnique]

I didnt threaten her with a knife. You assumed that's what it was. I did not dance to get back at him. I said i got off on his reactions. Don't try to manipulate my situation.

[Wakeup]

It seems its okay to judge certain people in some people's prejudicial thinking... just don't do it to someone who's pregnant.. or so it seems.

Anyway: Op: This issue is not whether she's a dancer or not but rather if she's being genuine with you. Her job is to schmoooze men, it's what she does for a living so don't take her actions towards you to be anything other than her job at this point.

You need to take her out, date her and treat her as if she had a more mainstream profession. Only then can you descern the genuineness (or lack thereof) of her actions. Keep on your toes and don't let her dazzzle you with her science.

So you can ignore the stereotypes that are being slung around and go for a proper date (since you say you're not concerned with her continuing to dance as your girlfriend) and then decide for yourself if she is or isn't just yanking your money chain.

I asked if she would ever date someone she met on the job and she said "no because you never know who the person really is". So could this be her way of testing the waters?

NO it's not her way of testing any waters but if you want to test to see if she really means that then ask her out and forget highschool facebook and asking for her number. You should find out if you have a chance before you waste all your money on your fantasy while she's simply doing her job so listen to HeartIsAching.

The only stripper I ever knew personally loved men like you, Op because you were easy to make a good nights take off of. Get out of highschool and into pursuit mode and find out where you stand... good customer or hunk she'd like to be a girlfriend to. It's time.

[Starnique]

Where is that knife threating whore topic?

That's funny. She was more then a whore. She was a slutacious whore and if he and I was still together, that ho still wouldn't take it there ever again.

[pcmaster]

Sounds like very extraordinary story. Can you tell me more, Starnique?

[michelle23]

i wasnt judging ayone here. or manipulating your situation starnique. i was just responding to the thread

[Ann S]

She told you that YOU were the most RESPECTFUL CUSTOMER by far???????? There is your relationship, right there. This doesn't make you repulsive....in fact it says noting about you other than you are able to be manipulated and that you can make up romantic stories, based on not much. I hope you get therapy!!!! Really!!! Go spend the money you spend on strippers, on therapy!!!!!! Ann

[FlaCooln]

Dude here is what u do....STOP going to strip clubs and find a real woman/girlfriend.

Honestly, strip clubs are a total waste of money. What you spend a few songs with the stripper and maybe waste even more money for a private dance. What are you really getting out of it? A few minutes of entertainment, someone to grind on you a bit, and some boobs to grab. There is ZERO emotional connection. The only connection she has to you is the money she is taking from you.

You are just setting yourself up for rejection. The only thing she wants from you is your wallet.

[nathoonder]

Okay, I get that if I didn't have money I probably wouldn't get much out of this girl. I enjoy being her "emotional tampon" I'm glad she feels she can talk to me about things that are bothering her. I'm not going to ask her "Am I just a client to you, or something more? I want this to progress." I feel as if it would not bode well (I think I have the answer to that in my heart of hearts) and I certainly don't want to force any ultimatums. So I'm beginning to realize she is most likely acting this way towards me because I am a source of steady income. I'm going to keep seeing her though. I'll causally ask her out the next time I get to see her and hopefully she says yes, if not. Maybe someday she'll change her mind. The time we spend together is so great and just the thought of her helps me through my day. Found out I have to work mandatory overtime Saturday night and normally that would really bum me out. The fact that I'll have more money to spend on her really helps take the sting out of that bit of unsavory news though. I anticipate the time we'll spend together and it makes me feel better.

Wakeup said "The only stripper I ever knew personally loved men like you, Op because you were easy to make a good nights take off of". I hope this girl loves me for SOMETHING at least. She's told me "I love you" a couple times before and that meant very much to me.

Many people have suggested therapy to me, on and offline. I consider it from time to time as I do end shedding tears over this many a night but nothing really compels me to seek help. Having her in my life gives me a source of inspiration and makes work more bearable and in that aspect I feel my feelings are sorta healthy.

[Wakeup]

... and, another codependent story for the book.

Just keep in mind that if she turns down your request for a real date, know that there is actually a woman out there that you can caretake that will actually want you just like you want her and won't just be schmoozing you for your hard earned cash. You'll need to take yourself away from the stripper and emotionally dis-engage before you'll find yourself motivated enough to find her though. Don't let your interaction with her become an addiction (sounds like it is already tbh). Also know that the words "I love you" mean absolutely nothing if there are no actions to back them up. I love smoked salmon to but it has never shown me back that it loves me as well.

Good luck, dude.

[nathoonder]

Thanks for the optimistic piece of advice.

[Saya]

I have a friend who went out with a stripper. They met where she work, but their relationship didn't last long since after they been together for a bit because he didn't like her working as a stripper.
So in your case, if you did ask her out and if she say yes then, it is probably only going to be casual and it won't last long.

[holdingon]

dont be so nieve - she shares 'personal information' with you to make you feel special, DER.
shes lively and laughs at the things you say - so you think you have a chance with her, you sound like an idiot truly- take it from a ex-dancer.