How many "Forever Alonone" happyendings do you know?

[TwillightBrony]

Now this is an interesting question!

It´s often said that "you have to wait for the true love", "You will eventually find your soulmate" etc...

I believe that it works pretty well for lets say, rather sexually successful people. But I wonder how people who have issues with mating end up?

I dont want to spoil results of my question, but as far as I know - they desperately look for somebody, after many years some quite poor partner come and they are happy that they have at least something. They have numerous serious problems in their relationship but they dont realise how bad it is because they have nothing to compare with. So they end up very bad and unhapy and believe that is how relationships work.

Am I right or are there any better endings?

Note that I am not talking about rather regular people who are most of their mature life in some sort of relationship but usually lonely men who end up with some usually ugly or lets say mentally not very well working woman. (Sorry bor being so misogynistic but it is common fact that woman between 20-30 have the biggest value as partners on the market while for men this value grows mostly after 30 what is the age they are usually in some kind of commitment. And also that woman in that age never have problems with finding at least sexual partner if they are not too much ugly or picky. Sorry but this is just the fact...).

[Boisdevie]

it is common fact that woman between 20-30 have the biggest value as partners on the market while for men this value grows mostly after 30 what is the age they are usually in some kind of commitment. And also that woman in that age never have problems with finding at least sexual partner if they are not too much ugly or picky. Sorry but this is just the fact

I think you are confusing 'common fact' with opinion.

[HeartIsAching]

There's nothing wrong with spending time with Mrs. "Right Now" while waiting for "Mrs. Right".

[Love'sReject]

Depends. Some stupid hip kids post on FB "Forever alone " shit but are actually beautiful chicks with no self-esteem and don't actually end up alone. When a guy says it, it usually means he WILL be alone.

[TwillightBrony]

Forover Alone is internet slang word and it refers to lonely people who do not have any sexual life (sometimes to people without friends or social life but not in this case). Another word for FA is Involuntary celibacy hovewer it is not as well known as term FA so I used FA instead

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy

Boisdevie : I wish I could copy topics that explain my statements but unfortunately I have only printed version of it (the book calls Evolutionari psychology and it is review of many sociology researches from last several decades). But if you have smt that proves different please be so kind and send me to PM. Not here, I would like to avoid offtopic. Thank you.

or maybe this: "woman in that age never have problems in finding at least sexual partner if they are not too much ugly or picky. " Yes, this is rather my experience than research conclusion expecialy word "never" but it is supported by huge lets say observation.

doesnt matter, OT.

[michelle23]

What exactly are you implying?

Are you saying men who find it very difficult to get a girlfriend normally settle for second best?

or are you saying men who are in one committed relationship for a long time who have little sexual experience with others end up miserable?

I agree that people who have low self-esteem generally do settle for second best and that goes for men and women. However I do not agree that you need a certain amount of sexual partners before settling down. I think if you are confident, emotionally mature and generally know what you want in a partner-that you will find true love and I dont think you need a ton of sexual experience to find a good sexual partner.

That is my opinion

[HDBadger]

For what it's worth: I'm a confident, intelligent guy with healthy self-esteem, but I've come to realize that women just aren't attracted to me. I don't say that out of sadness, or depression, or bitterness. It's just a fact. My point here is that you come to deal with being alone, and, honestly, it's not that bad. Then I see all the nonsense and annoying qualities my male friends have to deal with with their wives or girlfriends, and I become even more grateful that that is not a part of my life.

I will fully admit that winding up with someone you aren't totally into is depressing. But there's nothing wrong with being single. In my opinion, it's by far the best option. The only real downside is not having regular access to sex. I'm 31 and haven't hooked up with a woman in almost three years, and I have to deal with the very real possibility it won't happen again. To me, that is still far preferable to ending up with someone you aren't crazy about.

Not everyone finds love. Or even a decent match.

[michelle23]

That ^^ is very cynical. Why havnt you tried to meet a good woman? Ya sometimes you do have to put up with crap or drama in a relationship but I bet your friends are happy and head over heels in love. When I get angry or have a little hissy fit-it either turns my bf on or makes him laugh... That is love. Hell put up with my little occasional moods coz he loves all the other great things about me and I deal with his couch potato lazy ass coz hes perfect in every other way!

[Indestructible]

Hey, look, someone made a topic about me.

I really don't want to be a "forever alone". For as long as I can remember, I wanted to have a normal "love life" and social life. I wanted to have friends, I wanted to find that special girl I could settle down with and share my life with. But, for whatever reason, I'm just not capable of having people in my life. People have told me "You're a nice, sweet guy with a big heart, and someday you'll find an awesome girl and you'll be crazy about each other", but come on. I'm going on 25, and at this point, it should not be so hard to make friends and date. That's not "normal", and these things don't usually have a tendency to change over time.

Over the last eight or so years, I've asked out a decent number (maybe a bit on the low side, but still) of girls, and none have ever said yes. To be honest, though, there's only been two girls I REALLY wanted to date, and of those two, only one was really good for me. It was really devastating when that one girl turned me down, and even more so that I had to watch as she fell for other guys. It's not very often that I "connect" that way with a girl, and when I do, she's usually attracted to a different type of guy that I can't compete with.

I see my best case scenario as finding a girl that likes me that I'm not necessarily into, and settling for her. I just can't ever see myself finding someone in which there's a mutual level of attraction and interest. Doesn't even seem possible to me, at this point. I don't know how the heck other people find that. I meet girls, and there's just never "anything" there (and again, when there is, I'm not "good enough" for her for one reason or another). I don't WANT to settle for someone I'm not happy with, but that's my best case scenario, I think. Heck, the rest of my family ended up marrying someone that they're unhappy with for whatever reason, and they all make each other miserable. I don't even know what a proper happy healthy loving relationship is supposed to look like, thanks to them. How the heck can I expect to get it right if the rest of my stupid family can't?

Or alternatively, I can try to do what I'm doing now, and that's just to accept being unhappy and lonely. It's a tough pill to swallow, and a part of me wishes I could just end it all right now and be done with it. I already feel pretty dead inside. But, I'm trying to power through as best I can. I figure I'll be alive for about another 40-50 years, so I guess that's not too long to have to wait for it all to be over. *shrug*

[michelle23]

indestructible-that is not a very good name for someone with your attitude.

You lack confidence and your afraid you will make the same mistakes that your family have made. Well you could learn from their unhealthy, destructive relationships and aim to be the opposite.

Can you list some of your great qualities? What you can offer a woman and why youd be a catch? Focus on all the good things about yourself and then list all the things you want in a girl. Confidence, a positive attitude and not having doormat written all over you is the best way to meet a girl. Most women want a man that they can look up to and respect, someone who is strong and stable and is her rock. Can you be those things? Can you be honest, trustworthy and faithful no matter what? Can you put her first and aim to make her happy and if she is not making you happy-have the strength to walk away? That is how you gain her respect. By working hard in all areas of life which means having a stable job, spending lots of quality time with her and also having friends and family that you care about as well as one or two hobbies.

Im not sure why some people think it is so hard. Figure out what is holding you back, whats preventing you from finding a great girlfriend and make some positive changes

[Indestructible]

indestructible-that is not a very good name for someone with your attitude.

Heh, well, when I was first making my account, I couldn't think of a username, so I went with the title of a new album by one of my favorite bands that had just come out at the time. Had nothing to do with me at all. :p

Can you list some of your great qualities? What you can offer a woman and why youd be a catch? Focus on all the good things about yourself and then list all the things you want in a girl. Confidence, a positive attitude and not having doormat written all over you is the best way to meet a girl. Most women want a man that they can look up to and respect, someone who is strong and stable and is her rock. Can you be those things? Can you be honest, trustworthy and faithful no matter what? Can you put her first and aim to make her happy and if she is not making you happy-have the strength to walk away? That is how you gain her respect. By working hard in all areas of life which means having a stable job, spending lots of quality time with her and also having friends and family that you care about as well as one or two hobbies.

I'd say I generally have the qualities from your post that I bolded. I consider myself smart and mature for my age, especially compared to a lot of other guys I know in my age range. I consider myself caring, supporting, respectful, and generous, I try to put others' needs ahead of my own when I can, I'm pretty easy-going and laid back. I have a particular dry, witty, sarcastic sense of humor.

As far as girls go, I mostly just want to be with a girl that I get along with really well, someone I can talk with and laugh with, someone that understands (and preferably shares) my sense of humor, someone that shares (or at the very least, appreciates) my little quirks and oddities. I don't find myself attracted to the "girly girl" types; not that I like straight up "tomboys", either, but I find that a lot of girls are just a tad too "sweet" and "agreeable", and I'm more attracted to a girl that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to tell you exactly how she feels about something.

That pretty much describes the last girl I was really into, and despite the fact that we connected so well for a while, she was more attracted to a douchey womanizing "player" type, and now to her current "frat boy"-ish boyfriend, over me. Hence why I feel like any good qualities I have don't really count for anything. I can make a great connection with a girl, but at the end of the day, no matter how smart and mature and great she is, she'd rather date the lame "cool" guys over me.

As far as "confidence" goes, I don't necessarily know that my beliefs have made outwardly "insecure". Honestly, I feel like I've always just had a sort of "quiet confidence" to me. When I started pursuing that last girl I liked, all my insecurities and bad thoughts just kinda went away. I was so sure there was something there, that confidence wasn't an issue. Heck, I overcame one of my biggest fears in the span of two weeks (a fear that, previously, I refused to even face at all) because I really believed she was the girl I've been looking for this whole time. But, when she turned me down, all that outward "confidence" I had just sort of disappeared. And over the last few months, I've kinda fallen apart pretty hard, because the loneliness and sadness has gotten to me more than ever. I haven't been very successful at putting myself back together just yet. But prior to the end of last year, I wasn't as "broken" as I am right now.

[michelle23]

All those qualities you have are great and I dont see any reason why a girl wouldnt be interested in you.

Women who go for men who treat them badly generally have low self-esteem and co-dependency issues and they are normally attracted to drama too so you shouldn't take it personally.

You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again

[Indestructible]

Women who go for men who treat them badly generally have low self-esteem and co-dependency issues and they are normally attracted to drama too so you shouldn't take it personally.

Eh. I guess. I dunno. It didn't seem like this last girl I liked had self-esteem or dependency issues, and she and I both agreed at one point that we hate "drama". I don't necessarily think her current boyfriend (who I referred to as a lame "cool guy" "frat boy" type) treats her badly, but I just don't get what she saw in him that she couldn't have with me. Back when I knew him (before they started dating), he always seemed kinda immature and lame, to me. I just can't imagine what she and him even talk about or really have in common.

You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again

I wish I was strong enough to do that. I'll admit, at the moment, I'm not really meeting a lot of new people, but over the last eight or so years, I've met and known several girls, probably easily over 100, and yet, out of all of them, I've only actually been attracted to a tiny handful. It's hard to "pick myself up" when I know that I probably won't meet another girl I even want to ask out for another 5-10 years. That's a long wait, especially just for a chance with a girl that may very well turn me down, too.

[michelle23]

Just because one girl you really liked turned you down-it doesnt mean the next one will. You dont know unless you try. Rejection is a part of life and everyone goes through it but you cant let it hold you back.

You should get out and meet people. You dont know whats around the corner

[Indestructible]

Just because one girl you really liked turned you down-it doesnt mean the next one will. You dont know unless you try. Rejection is a part of life and everyone goes through it but you cant let it hold you back.

It's not that I "fear" rejection, or anything like that, though, it's more like I've come to just expect it, and I don't see much point in trying when I feel like rejection is all I'll ever get. The biggest issue for me is that I just don't really encounter girls I really connect with enough to want to ask out. I have no problems talking to or being friendly towards girls, but I just never find myself thinking "I'd like to go on a date with this girl". The fact that I even found that last girl is like a miracle to me, and the fact that she's pretty much exactly what I've always wanted in a person makes it hard for me to think about dating anyone that's not extremely similar to her (which, in my experience, seems to be a pretty tiny amount of girls).

You should get out and meet people. You dont know whats around the corner

I'd like to get out more, but it's hard. I don't really have friends to hang out with, and there's just nothing I really want to go out and do by myself.