Why do I feel like this?

[Rev]

Hello everyone, I've joined this forum in hope to get some good advice from users who may have been in the same situation as me or something similar. Anyways I'll start from the top.

I'm a 21 year old male currently in a relationship with a 19 year old female. It will be three years thus August.

since the start of our relationship she hasn't been in one single job and I feel like I've carried the relationship single handed throughout our time together. I've paid fir literally everything and sorted everything including homes, pets and holidays. We have been on.and off arguing and bickering over stupid things for a while now. She drinks a lot and has no drive or ambition to do anything.. I even walk our dogs alone. She sometimes says that I control her ? She has a good friend relationship with my sister and they enjoy drinking together as often as possible which ticks me off a bit because I get little help with everything yet she wants to enjoy luxuries?? We recently went to Egypt for s week together and one night after she drank a little too much I got a complete ear full, about how much of a control freak I am and how she thinks she's with me because it's the easier option? It made my heart sink, I literally felt sick and disgusted to think that she actually thinks I'm that much if a bad person..

When I look at her she seems unhappy, when we go for a cigarette we hardly speak, things are just so aawkward though it seems easier to just try and carry on as normal.

Now I find myself having thoughts of not being with her anymore, although it hurts too much to think about what, how and when to explain how I feel.. I do love her a lot and I know she loves me..

We have two dogs which I adore very much, I don't want to lose them but at the same time if we did split the dogs would always carry memories of when Me and her were in a relationship..

Might sound silly that it's only been 2 and a bit years but I just genuinely don't know what to do

Any help or advice is more than appreciated.
thanks for reading

[pcmaster]

Where is she getting money for drinking in first place ? Stop paying for shit and let her see how much you are/ was giving her. Everything that she gets comes easy to her - it has no value. Make her qualify for any emotional/material investment. She acts like you are her dad when in fact you are friend and you are equal. And yes you are controling. Because you want her to have responsibilities when all she wants is 100% freedom and live for free. Akwardness will go away with the time, but the scar will stay. Seem that you both have to talk more to be more comfortable with each other.. She had to get drunk to say stuff that matters that means you are not completly open with eachother. Don't be a stranger !

[Resessions]

Yes as pcmaster said stop paying for everything. Only then will she see what kind of a free ride she's been getting and realize that your not a bad person. The way I look at it is if a guy wishes to spend the money he worked for and earned on a woman then she should be grateful for it instead of expecting it.

[Ann S]

"he hasn't been in one single job and I feel like I've carried the relationship single handed throughout our time together. " Well isn't that what happens when you start a relationship with a 16 year old?

"She drinks a lot and has no drive or ambition to do anything.. I even walk our dogs alone. She sometimes says that I control her ? She has a good friend relationship with my sister and they enjoy drinking together as often as possible" You have an immature 19 year old and possible alcoholic who you are expecting to act like a mature woman? Really?

It sounds like you have some codependent tendencies, and alcoholics, in general, think their enablers are door mats who try to control them.....and indeed, codependents have huge control issues that they call, "being helpful."

I can't see what YOU are getting out of this relationship? Why do you LOVE her? I suggest you go get some help about addiction issues - ALANON is in your country. Go listen. Go learn. It's free. DON't take her - that would be very codependent of you.....this is just for you.

Nothing changes until something changes. It sounds like YOU will have to get some intestinal fortitude, decide if you want to continue living your life like this and then forge a path for yourself.