What do you think her intentions are?

[okwhat2013]

Hi,
I met this girl last year, we sort of hit it off. We both like each other and it did get physical but stopping short of "complete" physical. Anyways, she has a serious boyfriend, they are planning to get married. Anyways, she basically said we need to be friends, if she was single, it would be different. So, we get along very well, and neither want us out of each other's life. So we have been just friends for well over a month now. We keep in touch about everyday. I hang out with her boyrfriend and friends sometimes and everything is cool and feels like we are just friends. So, I know I am kidding myself, but I do wonder what is going on with her. Well I'll put it this way, most of the time I don't have problem hanging out as friends but sometimes I still look at her differently and want more. Is it possible she actually sees me as just as a friend now? I know she had a problem with it the first week but ever since then she seems pretty much fine with how everything is. Any advice?


Oh, yea, I understand some of the advice isn't going to be very nice. However, I have never did something like this before, it just happened.

[michelle23]

well it shouldnt have happened. you knew she was taken. she is untrustworthy and you are selfish. you need to cut all contact with her and forget her. your playing with fire here and this situation never results in a happy ending for anyone involved.

[okwhat2013]

Thank you, I understand that point of view, it Was expected. Agreed, being selfish. However, the question asked was what is her point of view? Do u think she really just wants to be friends, keeping me around as a backup, or (my guess) has no idea what, is confused, she just knows that we can only be friends but doesn't want me out of her life. I mean we have a lot of fun together and it is only platonic now. Look, life is short, I don't like a lot people, I like hanging out with her and as long as no future harm is done, why not be friends?

[VerticalMoon]

The problem is that you don't know that no future harm will be done. If you say it "just happened" once, what's to say it won't "just happen" again? I wonder how much her boyfriend knows about your history, and if he would be okay with your "friendship" if he knew everything.

She might be completely over you. She might not be. If she's in a relationship with somebody else, then her feelings about you are really none of your damn business.

[okwhat2013]

I disagree, I think her feelings are important. If she truly just have friend feelings compared to other intentions would matter considering the situation. And for the record, they do not have a normal relationship, I can't get into it but let's just say she has brought home someone for him to spice up the sexual relationship which is obviously not were it needs to be. Let's just say they are not old school when it comes to what defines a normal relationship. So, it is not as bad as it sounds as far as Infidetily is concerned.

[michelle23]

any dishonesty in a relationship whether they are unusual or not is bad. and you should prob stay clear of her

you crossed the line of friendship so you cannot be friends especially since you have feelings for her. it doesnt matter what the dynamic of their relationship is-its none of your business.

even if he was a horrible selfish controlling possessive nightmare-still none of your business unless she dumps him and is single.

ask yourself would you really want to be with a cheat? whats stopping her cheating on you if you get together?

is that y she did it out of revenge for the threesome? it doesnt even matter anyway-shes taken and you need to back off. shes bad news and youll get hurt one way or another if you stick around

[okwhat2013]

1. Been with him awhile and never did anything, well who knows, but I believe her.
2. Yea, no issues with threesome,her idea, not first time, result of her being sexual and the lack of attention he gives her. I'm sure the psyche is to project the new, fresh, sexual desire onto herself.
3. I'm an old soul, somethings are just suppose to happen, I believe in this case it was suppose to be
4. Women don't cheat on me if actually give them me, that's entire another thread, but honestly if you are committed to a woman, give her the things she needs, security, appreciation, and understanding that she is a sexual creature there is no need for her to cheat unless she is a total waste of space which is not the case here.

Either way, the point was, can a woman have feelings for someone but then turn it off forever and totally be friends?

[oceansofpeople]

I think she wants to have someone listen to her. That she can trust of.
We all know that feeling is very important. Just listen to her, but don't fall in love with her cause she's taken already.