Five years gone

[thereisnone]

Hi guys,

I've been reading this forum recently. My fiance and I were together for five years. I am 27 and she is 24. and engaged for 1. We had wonderful plans. Getting married. Having children. We had picked out the names of the children and how we would raise them. There was love. It wasn't perfect. There were fights and squabbles. But we always made up. Then three weeks ago she says she wants to take a break. I respected her decision. Then on Sunday, she calls me and tell me the news:

She doesn't want to be with me anymore.

I've never felt a feeling like this before. I felt like the breath had been taken from my lungs. I had been so afraid to hear those words. I love this girl more deeply than I have ever loved anything in this world before. Words just cannot describe the feeling of despair and sadness that I felt. So here I am: I feel anger, sadness, guilt all throughout the day in these terrible cycles. I reach out to friends but they can only help so much. Their kind words soothe me for the moment. But then the feelings come back. I love this girl. I love her more than anything on earth.

Sorry if it what I wrote read like a rant. I just need some kind of outlet. Five years is a long time. I thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives.

Yet, here we are.

[Makeme]

I understand the feelings all too well, I don't really think there is anything we can do about the "pain" .. Sure being around friends and loved ones really do help alot to keep you occupied and help keep your head up.. But at the end of the day..emptiness creeps back again.. It's been a month now for me and I'm still functioning .. We've been together for 6 years.

[michelle23]

OP you need to try and stay strong. there is a small chance she will come back but only if you dont contact her at all. act as if your moving on and your fine. hopefully shell change her mind.

give it 1-2months with no contact at all and if shes not back by then-its time to try and get over her and heal.

dont make the mistake of begging like many do and dont text her to see how she is etc. see what happens.

i dont want to give you false hope but there is a small chance.

look up the five stages of grief-it will help you understand what it will be like getting over her but if she doesnt come back- you will get through. stay strong

[Valixy]

Many people have suffered like you do now. Nothing seems to help you but in time you will feel better. It's going to be a tough process but you can try to make it a little bit easier for you if you want to. I hope you heal soon.

[Boisdevie]

I thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives.

Yet, here we are.

Yes, welcome to the real world which isn't like some Disney film. Relationships end. My advice - get out there and do some serious shagging instead of sitting there full of self pity.

[thereisnone]

Thanks for the positive words! I spoke to her yesterday night but she hadn't changed her mind. Instead, today I made plans for lunch with friends. They also had very kind words for me. They really helped. I have also been ignoring my physical fitness. I just grew comfortable around her so I stopped going to the gym. Today, I am going to the gym with my brother and I am going to start improving myself. I am going to try NC and see how long I last.

Last night she said perhaps in the future we would try again but not anytime soon. I am just going to focus on me and try to stay positive. I have noticed that one minute I will feel great and strong and I ensure myself that I will get through this.

Then the next minute, everything feels hopeless. It just really helps to write about this. I am glad I have my friends and this forum for kind words.

[VerticalMoon]

Going back and forth on your feelings is normal. You just need to give it time. The break-up is still really new, especially when you consider that you had five years together. It may take a while. he longer time goes on, though, the less often you'll feel the pain. Until one day, eventually, you'll be over her for good. I'm glad you have friends who are there for you. Exercise is really good for your over-all emotional health. If you can get into the habit of exercising regularly, that should help with the emotional recovery process as well. Make sure you're getting enough sleep too. You'll make it through this.

[thereisnone]

Yes, its one of those terrible aspects of a breakup. The darn emotional roller coaster is terrible. I can't wait to be over all of this. I had to box everything of her's up and place it in the back of a closet. There are so many presents (from Christmas, birthdays, V Day) that I had to box up. Also photos in the living room and in my room. It was so difficult seeing those.

Also, when I was on Facebook I saw her new profile photo. She looks amazing. My heart sunk so deep that it made me nauseous. I deactivated my Facebook for now as I don't want to see anything related to her. It's just so difficult.

[cookies&cream]

Love is not always like a fairy tale! She maybe just confused right now, or maybe she's undergoing something that you don't know. Probably she's afraid to tell you or something, I don't know. But if you really do love her, fight for her!

Probably she's having a crisis that she's not telling you. And when she broke up with you, when you simply accepted it, she probably took it as if it's okay with you. If you do love her, do NOT give up too easily.