What should I do?

[overanxious]

Are you serious? These were normal expenses when I was growing up, and as far as I know, they HAVE been since the 1940s.

all normal expenses....but they are out of whack these days....you go to the grocery store and spend 150 and you have like 4 or 5 bags....when i was a kid if you spent 100 it was alot of stuff.....cell bills/internet.....just even dining out is crazy these days...everytime i go out its 150 at least....

[michelle23]

I agree that the overall responsibility of cooking, cleaning and laundry should go to the stay at home spouse. I am not disputing that at all but I would not like to be treated like the only thing Im good at is being a wife and a mother. Theres a lot more to being a woman than that and I would find it extremely boring and under challenging to stay at home day in, day out. Thats just me. I need my brain to be stimulated or else I get restless and irritable.

I am not against it though and if I could afford to-I would probably prefer to be at home more often than not if i had young children as I know I wouldn't want to miss any of the important milestones. However Id miss my husband more if he was working double time so it wouldnt be an option if money was tight.

I am planning to wait though until Im sure there wont be any financial issues which will give me lots of choices when I do have kids and I can decide then.

I dont think there is any right or wrong answer. There has always been a dispute about this ever since women joined the workplace working mums vs stay at home. I think its all a load of crap coz it boils down to personal choice. Its a free country and we make our own decisions and nobody can tell anyone they are a bad mother either way.

As for the whole debate about men. I actually think men are happier now that us women are not afraid to stand up to them.
They are kept on their toes and I think thats how they like it

To the OP: I think you should just give it some time and see how he feels in a few months. Let it go for a bit and dont put too much pressure on right now or you might push him away

[michelle23]

all normal expenses....but they are out of whack these days....you go to the grocery store and spend 150 and you have like 4 or 5 bags....when i was a kid if you spent 100 it was alot of stuff.....cell bills/internet.....just even dining out is crazy these days...everytime i go out its 150 at least....

It is a lot of financial pressure and stress unless your earning well above average and most people are not. Were always shouting about equal rights and I think it is unfair to expect "men to be men" what does that even mean? Most women expectations are too high. There good at pointing out all his flaws and what he doesnt do but what about what he does do? Lots of men work very hard but still cannot afford to support a family of 4 or 5. My bf works 6 days a week and works his ass off but there is no way he could afford to support me, a baby and the house right now. It would be impossible. And hes already working about 60 hours-sometimes more. I could never ask him to take on a second job. It would not be fair. Hes also great to help out around the house. Were equal. We both work, both cook, both clean and if we had a child we would be 100% equal in that too. I do more at home coz I get home from work before him. He told me recently he wants a baby and I laughed and said get a better job then lol as thats the only way we could afford a kid right now.

[Wakeup]

As for the whole debate about men. I actually think men are happier now that us women are not afraid to stand up to them.
They are kept on their toes and I think thats how they like it

Women kept their men "on their toes." way back then to, Michelle. Even Ward Cleaver listened to June when she told him to lay off the Beaver.