Reason for a actions?

[Annie1234]

I found a while back that my husband was messaging people online and was on singles sites as a single his profile stated he was looking for filthy chat and he messaged many people asking if they were interested in casual sex, we got all this out in the open, yet he still maintains there was nothing wrong with our relationship and says he doesn't know why he did it, I find this hard to believe and can't get the notion of if he didn't know then how can he say it won't happen again, yet he can tell me he didn't do it for certain reasons ie myself, or lack of sex etc, he did say at one point he only wanted to see if anyone would be interested as we had a row at some point and. I had supposedly said it wasn't working, can someone really not know why they would do this because I feel like he's just too scared to be honest

[BennyJamesField]

Maybe he is confused.
People do silly things when they are confused
also maybe he is starved of affection
I know toward the end of my last relationship i reached out for affection (not in the same way) but to girls i sued to be attracted to when iw as younger
I never had intention of doing anything.
but it helped fill a hole that she could no longer fill.

I have no doubt she was doing the same.none what so ever.
sometimes when people have eben together for so long the affection may be there but goes unnoticed

[Boisdevie]

Maybe he is confused.

Yeah right. Or perhaps he's just behaving like a cunt.

[VincenzoG91]

I found a while back that my husband was messaging people online and was on singles sites as a single his profile stated he was looking for filthy chat and he messaged many people asking if they were interested in casual sex, we got all this out in the open, yet he still maintains there was nothing wrong with our relationship and says he doesn't know why he did it, I find this hard to believe and can't get the notion of if he didn't know then how can he say it won't happen again, yet he can tell me he didn't do it for certain reasons ie myself, or lack of sex etc, he did say at one point he only wanted to see if anyone would be interested as we had a row at some point and. I had supposedly said it wasn't working, can someone really not know why they would do this because I feel like he's just too scared to be honest

He doesn't know why he did it? Wow, that is such a mystery! A real enigma. Even Sherlock Holmes would be perplexed.

As a suggestion, try applying Occam's Razor: the simplest explanation that fits the facts is usually the accurate explanation. So... why was he chatting with people online and asking for casual sex? Because he wanted to get laid.

And he is giving himself permission to cheat on you again. Because he "doesn't know why he did it," he won't be changing any of his behavior and it's going to happen again for allegedly mysterious reasons. Since your husband doesn't seem to have any respect for you anymore, ask yourself why you should keep trying to make this marriage work. Maybe you have good reasons, like for the sake of the kids.

[Annie1234]

We have three young kids, he keeps saying I shouldn't worry it will happen again as he knows he won't do it again, yet I sometimes feel I can't believe that cause I don't know why he did it in first place, our youngest was four months old when I found out and he constantly lied, one conversation was on Facebook, I found a message with two kisses and asked what conversation was he said nothing, messaged the lass and she sent me the whole graphic conversation, three times he asked her over the space of a month, she had said she didn't like cheaters so he waited three weeks and told her he was single! That's the one I can't get passed tbh , on one of the days he said to her he could come to her and had told me he might be working late, she said no and he didn't have to work so late, yet he still swears to this day he wouldn't have gone if she said yes and was genuinely asked to work late!

[sweetmama83]

my ex did this to me, still to this day he didnt see what he had done wrong but its disrespectful to us. after some thinking it was mainly for attention, it happened when i was pregnant and when our chilldren were very young and i wasnt giving him the 'attention' he deserved (twat) so he decided to get the attention from somewhere else. just to make him feel attractive. it sounds like he just made a slip up and its best if you just talk to him, he sounds like the typical male who doesent like talking about their feelings but maybe find out if something is bothering him or if he was actually thinking of playing away. at the end of the day what he did to you was very disrespectful but hopefully he didnt mean it and u can sort through it x

[michelle23]

OP this is a HUGE red flag. Your husband was planning to cheat on you and he would have if the woman on Facebook agreed to it. You are in denial right now and you want to believe everything he says but he is lying through his teeth

If I were you I would kick him out. He has proven he is untrustworthy and for all you know he could have cheated with someone else.

He has shown you what he is capable of. Why are you still with him?