Hello
I’m 23 and goes to university. I have fallen in love with a guy, but I haven’t dared to act on it. Why? Because he is my ”professor”…
But I have thought that maybe after the exams it would be all right to make contact?
It is not weird in any way actually, he is only sex years older than me and it is definitely not a ”teacher-thing”. It’s a very small class and I don’t feel like he different than me in that sense. Just plain and simply like him. I like his shyness. He is this kind of nerdy guy that has strange humor and is really clumsy. I think he likes me too, at least to a certain degree. He always flushes when I’m asking about something, and looks a lot at me (but tries to hide it). But he is defiantly not a ladies man and I am pretty certain he have never had a girlfriend even.
It is not forbidden to date at the university I’m at. But I’m still uncertain on how to handle this. I’m not afraid to make a fool of my self (anyway I’m not getting him as a teacher in other classes), I just have to act on this!
I have two ideas:
1: write an e-mail to him, ask about class-subject (he told me a lot about this work he is doing right now, and I could for example begin there) and then maybe ask if he wants to have a discussion over a coffee.
2: I could text him (I have his number because he recommended some books he thought I might like) and be more straight-forward. I could just write that I really enjoyed his class and then ask if he wants to go out for an ice cream or something.
Do you have any thoughts?
I will be very grateful to any comments because I do not trust my own judgment right now, because I feel so strongly for him.
+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 12 of 12
Thread: How do I ask the shy guy out?
-
08-05-13, 12:39 AM #1
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 2
How do I ask the shy guy out?
-
08-05-13, 01:02 AM #2
Regular User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 1,412
.......*facepalm*.....
"1,2,3,4.....The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-drive!"
"Glory days/Well, they'll pass you by/Glory days"
-
08-05-13, 01:06 AM #3
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 2
Sorry! Do you think the idea is totally stupid?
-
08-05-13, 01:58 AM #4
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 5
Do you plan to take any other courses with this guy? If not, wait for the semester to end, and then just ask if he'd want to go and grab a cup of coffee with you sometimes. Do it in person. This way you can also gauge his non-verbal response. No need to mask it with talk about his work or the subject matter he's teaching.
Many people at uni have crushes on their professors, nothing new or weird there. You are both adults, so why not give it a try. I personally know of a few married couples that started out this way, lol. Good luck!
-
08-05-13, 02:44 AM #5
Normal User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Gender
- Location
- Latvia
- Posts
- 5,054
Look up on yahoo answers questions like - I slepty with my teacher, Im in love with my profesor, I slept with my student. You might have an idea how easy these things happen.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
-
08-05-13, 03:02 AM #6
Regular User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 1,412
Really?! So theoretically I could bed that hot yoga instructor...?
"1,2,3,4.....The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-drive!"
"Glory days/Well, they'll pass you by/Glory days"
-
08-05-13, 03:15 AM #7
Normal User
- Country:
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Gender
- Location
- Latvia
- Posts
- 5,054
Remember one story in newspaper. The guy was 13 year old and and teacher was like 26. He kissed teacher and it felt good she said but didnt let him to do it anymore. But he kissed again and again until they fell in love. They got cought in her car having sex. They said in court that they loved eachother and want to get married but teacher went in jail for like seven years. When she came out they got married.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
-
08-05-13, 03:21 AM #8
Dead
- Country:
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Gender
- Location
- Surrey, BC
- Posts
- 15,542
Just go up to him and hand him your phone number and say "I'd like to go with you sometime....for a coffee maybe?" "If you are interested here's my munber." And done.
-
08-05-13, 03:26 AM #9
Regular User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 1,412
I'm surprised that any forumites would advocate this, as almost invariably in all the thousands of times this question has been asked was the advice non-advocating..
"1,2,3,4.....The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-drive!"
"Glory days/Well, they'll pass you by/Glory days"
-
08-05-13, 03:39 AM #10
Registered User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Gender
- Location
- Twin Cities
- Posts
- 3,763
Awesome freudian slip.
Originally Posted by 1923245151
I think that your ideas for reaching out to him are good. However, even if there isn't a policy against him dating a former student, it might still make him look unprofessional in the eyes of other faculty members. Unless maybe he is just a grad student who is working as a teaching assistant, in which case he might be fine. Anyway, my point is just that he might be very interested in you but worried about the impact on his employment. But it's still worth a try on your part.Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.
-
08-05-13, 05:42 AM #11
Dead
- Country:
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Gender
- Location
- Surrey, BC
- Posts
- 15,542
If you look closely at her post, she quoted "It is not forbidden to date at the university I’m at." And she also said " after the exams it would be all right to make contact.....?" So he really wouldn't be her teacher anymore technically.
-
08-05-13, 05:43 AM #12
Regular User
- Country:
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
- Gender
- Posts
- 1,412
TL;DR basically....
"1,2,3,4.....The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-drive!"
"Glory days/Well, they'll pass you by/Glory days"
