Male expertise needed

[Lulu]

Long story short; I broke up with my ex four months ago over communication breakdown. It was a long distance relationship and we both thought the other wanted it to be over.. since he has sent a card and texted occasionally since. He texted that he still misses me daily about a month ago. I called him recently and we went over everything that happened. Put it all out there. I said that I still love him and don't want anyone else. He said he loves me too. I asked for him to consider everything that we discussed and to let me know if we can try again or not so we can continue on or let it go for good. I asked that he get a hold of me in a few days and he promised that he would. That was five days ago....

Why hasn't he contacted me yet? What should I do? Wait? How long? or call again and press for an answer.. I am lost and this wait is making me crazy. Please give me your advice, guys!

[BennyJamesField]

call again
how long will it long distance for?
if too long then end it. long distance sucks. really bad.

He probably has not called because he is trying to gauge how long it would take you to crack
perhaps seeing how much you really do care
hardest part about long distance is you cannot see each others body language, only words, so that makes it any bodies guess.

[VincenzoG91]

If neither one of you has specific plans to move to the same area within a year, it would be less painful if you didn't get back together. Relationships can be a challenge under any circumstances, but long distance makes almost everything worse.

[Wakeup]

Apprently that "communication breakdown" is still pretty much in affect and your ex bf certainly doesn't want to rekindle your relationship. I think if he actually wanted to, he wouldn't need one minute, never mind five days to mull it over.

I don't know why you even dredged all this up again anyway? Long distance relationships rarely last the test of time if there is no set time that the two of you will no longer be long distance. To rekindle when there is no shelf-life in place is just wasting both of your good dating years waiting.

You want to call/contact him so just do it and get it over with instead of becoming sick over this.

Love isn't enough to keep a relationship nutured and working.

[BennyJamesField]

Vince
You are a good bloke
i enjoy reading your writings.
just wanted to say this
seems like you have been through some similar things that i have been through.

respect!

[Lulu]

I told him just that. He came here for Christmas and was here for three weeks. It was stressful and that is when it ended. I needed a few days to gather my thoughts and ignored him for two days. I replied but he jumped to the conclusion that I was dumping him. He asked if he was single and I said, "I guess that is what you want" all via text.. never any phone calls. Nothing until now. I told him when he was here that I would want to move there to be with him. He didn't say much at the time and I brought it up again during our recent conversation. That is what I want. To resolve this and move there to be with him.....

[Lulu]

And I told him that this was me swallowing my pride and that I would let this go for good if he wanted that. I don't want to chase him or nag him.. is he wanting me to chase or is it better to give him time?

[Wakeup]

So you want to and are willing to move there to be with him... In his house or to your own apartment? Do you have a job lined up if you go there or do you expect him to cover your expenses until you find work? Is there a plan in place or are you just going to wing it?

If theres no plan then I can see why he's taking so long to decide. You've not just asked to rekindle the relationship as it was, you've asked for him to commit to a full time arrangement and perhaps he isn't quite ready for all that responsibility?

[Lulu]

I am a nurse and can get a job there. His work is less consistent so it isn't like I would be trying to put him out. I just brought up how I had suggested it before and that we couldn't do this distance forever. I brought it up because it was part of the initial reason I wanted a few days to think thing through.. he didn't respond much to the idea. He said he had thought about it before but didn't elaborate.

[smackie9]

Booooooooooo this guy is a fluff. Why drag yourself through this mish mash of bs. Date someone locally that is on the same page.

[Lulu]

AND it was HIS idea to come here for Christmas... for three weeks. I thought he was thinking more seriously. I should have called him months ago but I really thought he was rejecting ME until he texted that he misses me daily. Now I put it out there and he promises to call but I am waiting five days later.

[Lulu]

What is a fluff? There is a cute doctor who is flirtatious but I feel like I am in limbo. I want to hear from him that there is no hope before I let go of this love for good.

[Wakeup]

I am a nurse and can get a job there. His work is less consistent so it isn't like I would be trying to put him out. I just brought up how I had suggested it before and that we couldn't do this distance forever. I brought it up because it was part of the initial reason I wanted a few days to think thing through.. he didn't respond much to the idea. He said he had thought about it before but didn't elaborate.

Well I'm only guessing but I'm thinking if he wanted all this that you've proposed, he'd have jumped at the chance if it's what he actually wanted.

I'm also assuming that all he wanted when he said he missed you was to maybe visit for a while, get laid again and then go back to being your part-time boyfriend.

After hearing everything you've said about how aloof he actually is about the idea of reconciling with you, I say wait until he calls you. Don't put anymore pressure on him to decide. It should be interesting to see how long he takes to come up with his answer and, what his answer to you will be.

I'm agreeing with Smackie and I think your ex bf is just fluff.

[Lulu]

WHAT IS FLUFF? Thanks for that- I will wait it out then. I was thinking along that line...

[Lulu]

It is just pissing me off and making me a little crazy, too. I told him- point blank- I need closure, feel like I am in limbo. Tell me if that is what you want and I will let it go. His big deal was "I don't think that you really like me as a person" which is crap.