Male expertise needed

[Wakeup]

Oh FFS. "I don't think you like me as a person." Are you trying to reconcile with a hormonal woman on her period?

Fluff is someone with no substance. Least that's my definition. Smackie's may be different.

[Lulu]

HA! That sums him up at times!!! HAHAHA! And then he says, "you asked me if I had ever cheated on you" because he was flirtatious with a girl at the bar when we went out one night; smiling at her excessively in front of me. She was smiling back and it was obvious but he was intoxicated at the time... He said, "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me". He once called me on a Saturday night and hung up on me after one minute because I didn't tell him what I was doing fast enough and "sounded shady". He didn't speak to me for a month because of it! I reminded him of it and he just kept trying to change the subject...

[Wakeup]

My dear Lulu, do you really want this guy as much as you thought you did? He didn't talk to you for a month? That would be enough for me to leave him right there if we were in more than a casual relationship.

I think he thought your relationship was a casual fling and you thought it was a bit more than that. Anyone who actually loved you would not be able to go a month without speaking to you. Anyone who actually loved you wouldn't have to wait for over five days to make up their mind to be with you when they've been told you want them still.

So: Are you sure you actually want him back?

[Lulu]

Yeah- he is a little jealous. I really think he loved me, though. He cried and was throwing up once when we argued over the thought of us breaking up when I was visiting him. He just is emotionally stunted.

[Wakeup]

He just is emotionally stunted.

Your call if that's the type of guy you want to uproot yourself and move to. Now all you have to do is wait to see if he wants you to. Frankly if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to and he doesn't agree with your moving to be with him, you'll end up doing better once you go no contact with him and stop hoovering each other back in and you discover you're quite fine without him.

Good luck.

[VincenzoG91]

Vince
You are a good bloke
i enjoy reading your writings.
just wanted to say this
seems like you have been through some similar things that i have been through.

respect!

The best part is that I learned everything the hard way, so I never forget it.

[VincenzoG91]

HA! That sums him up at times!!! HAHAHA! And then he says, "you asked me if I had ever cheated on you" because he was flirtatious with a girl at the bar when we went out one night; smiling at her excessively in front of me. She was smiling back and it was obvious but he was intoxicated at the time... He said, "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me". He once called me on a Saturday night and hung up on me after one minute because I didn't tell him what I was doing fast enough and "sounded shady". He didn't speak to me for a month because of it! I reminded him of it and he just kept trying to change the subject...

Reading between the lines... this guy has definitely cheated on you, and probably hasn't called back recently because he is currently cheating on you.

[BennyJamesField]

The best part is that I learned everything the hard way, so I never forget it.

yep same here bro.
learning the hard way makes you stronger, makes you smarter and makes you more independent.

[Lulu]

I just have a hard time thinking that he cheated. Not to be naive but he seemed SO into me. He cried, threw up, spent his first Christmas away from his parents by his choosing to be with me... and he is 34! He would tell me that he would sit home alone at night being good. When we would talk- he was always at home. He had me fly down to go to his childhood friend's wedding and meet everybody he grew up with... He is handsome and could cheat if he wanted to but wouldn't it be hard to invest his energy into me if he was doing that on the side?

[Wakeup]

Who cares. He's not phoning you up and being all excited that you want to move to live with him. That's the issue.. Keep your focus.

[VincenzoG91]

I just have a hard time thinking that he cheated. Not to be naive but he seemed SO into me. He cried, threw up, spent his first Christmas away from his parents by his choosing to be with me... and he is 34! He would tell me that he would sit home alone at night being good. When we would talk- he was always at home. He had me fly down to go to his childhood friend's wedding and meet everybody he grew up with... He is handsome and could cheat if he wanted to but wouldn't it be hard to invest his energy into me if he was doing that on the side?

That was then. Now he's the guy who can't be bothered to give you a call for nearly a week.