Is it fine to date other people in the beginning of the dating game?

[michelle23]

its fine to hang out as friends but we dont consider that "dating". dating here is about seeing someone romantically,.not platonically

your making a lot of assumptions about me and others here based on our ways of dating. how is that any different to me calling someonexwho sleeps with multiple people sleazy? or me saying "people who multiple date are untrustworthy"

your calling me jealous etc for something that is considered completely normal here and attack me gor feeling the american dating culture is messed up

that makes you just as bad as me

[searock]

So if you are not interested in a relationship you never go out with the opposite sex for some fun?

Yes, but that's not "dating", that's hanging out with friends, partying, sleeping around...

[dem862]

It sounds like the European version of dating is what we used to have in the US back in the 50's and is more like what we used to call "courting." What we call dating now, is sometimes even called "hanging out" here. Then you have "hooking up" which usually involves sex without any expectations and it sounds like the Europeans don't even do this. Although your James Bond was actually pretty good at it.

[michelle23]

no there is no courting here. one night stands happen all the time. the clubbing scene is crazy but a lot of people are not into that. where i live theres a small % who just go out to get laid but most people are looking for more than that.

dating here isnt about just hanging out. if someone likes you, theyl ask for your number, therl be flirty texts, theeyl meet for a drink and get to know each other. after that if there both interested theyl spend more time together and after 2-4 weeks become official bf/gf. in the meantime most people dont see anyone else while they are getting to know each other.

if they dont like each other, theyl stop seeing each other and wont become official obviously.

the longest i was seeing someone was a month before i decided it wasnt going anywhere and i never saw him again. anyone who lasted longer than a month were bfs.

[lamobatsman]

im with michelle. but i dont think michelle has met as many girls as i have. unfortuntately it doesnt work out that way all teh time thats why guys see many girls. in fact michelle with regards to that german girl listen to this.

I asked another girl out i met back in october for dinner. 3 months later she and i are very good friends and i told her about teh german girl. she said why did you ask me out when you really liked that other girl. i was honest i said " i had to spin more plates and you were just another girl to keep me busy so i could control my feelings for her"

i ended up seeing/sleeping 5 girls in that period i liked one girl. You can see from the end result why guys do that

[Wakeup]

It's not just 'guys' that do it.

[lamobatsman]

exactly i got told that shes probabaly doing the same going out and hooking up with other guys.

[michelle23]

yes but lambo has a fear of rejection and getting hurt. thats why he does that. *most* don't

and that was a ldr with a girl from a different country who you met online. when you were seeing others you still hadnt met her in real life which is different to what we are talking about

[Wakeup]

Many do though

[lamobatsman]

i disagree. a lot of people do what i do for that very reason - scared of getting hurt. Its foolish to invest in everything into one thing.

also i dont see my situation as totally different. in fact i think my situation would be worse. The fact that one has comitted to flying down to see someone means a lot rather than a couple of dates with someone locally.

[smackie9]

Yes, but that's not "dating", that's hanging out with friends, partying, sleeping around...

There is no mention of sleeping around or having multiple partners. Don't tarnish a simple choice to go out on a few dates with different people in a week. This is just a stage of no obligation of commitment, because there shouldn't have to be one. If you find someone you really have an interest in, it's a no brainer you will be cancelling out on the others.

[michelle23]

i disagree. a lot of people do what i do for that very reason - scared of getting hurt. Its foolish to invest in everything into one thing.

also i dont see my situation as totally different. in fact i think my situation would be worse. The fact that one has comitted to flying down to see someone means a lot rather than a couple of dates with someone locally.

if you were seeing a local girl down the road every second day and really liked her would you still see others/sleep afround?

[lamobatsman]

er hell yes! in my head if a girl is willing to fly from another country to see you she must really like you so therefore you can allow yourself to have feelings and stop seeing other girls. and even that was BS cos she ddint like me.

A couple of years ago i was seeing a girl for nearly 3 months. went on 3/4 dates. lost of talking on phone and texting,. she even came to my house a cuple of times to see my mum and sister. i was really into her. took her on some amazing dates. after 3 months (the end of summer) she said we should just be friends. I dindt even kiss her cos i didnt have the opportunity plus i wanted to take things slow cos i knew she was a christian and didnt want to come across as a player type and scare her away.

Since then never again will i see one girl at a time and that why even with the german girl i made sure i saw as many as i could even though the german girl i wouuld have thought liked me more than this other girl.

Those 3 monthds i was seeing this girl i didnt see any other girls. I lost out. I found out a month later she was sleeping with a new guy she just only met on holiday. Its all Bullshit to me

[michelle23]

lol that was your fault. 3months and you didnt kiss her? thats friendzone. you should have kissed her first date.

[lamobatsman]

lol that was your fault. 3months and you didnt kiss her? thats friendzone. you should have kissed her first date.

it wouldnt have made a difference if i kissed her or not. she was never interested. Friendzone is rubbish- if a girl genuinely likes you she wont care if you kissed her or not. she knows how much i really liked her