Hi,

I have a bf for more than 2.5 years now. He's a caring person but personality wise, we don't really match... He thought I'm a very strong headed girl who never take his suggestion. But I overlooked those issue and try to work on it and hoping we will get married in the end of this year( I'm 26, he's 27). But he keeps avoiding let me go meet his parents.

About 3 months ago, I went on a business trip that lasted more than 2 months. there I met many new friends and had very good time hanging out with them. I've never had close interaction and hang out with that many friends before. I was having only having 1,2 close gf where I stay and never party much so I suppose this life changes me, I got opened up and was very happy hangout with ppl who understand me so much. Among them, there's this person that I had known last year here. We didn't talk much last year but he made such good impression. This year we have the opportunity to hang out more often in a group setting. And in the end of the trip. As he confessed he has developed feeling for me, I know I have feeling for him too. Personality wise, we really do match.

But I have to go back. So I went back, realizing its not wise being with my bf while having feeling for another and since I already know all our differences, after a few days of acting very weird, I sat down with him for a talk, asking what do he think of me. After 2.5 years, he said I'm a selfish person, I never care for him and I stubbornly sticking to all my decision claiming its the right one for me even though he think its not good ( my friends said I'm a very caring type of person and I care too Much for other and always try to do the right thing). It broke my heart that after 2.5 years, that's all my own bf gathers about me, I know what he said is driven by his frustration about the last few days but I know deep down, he doesn't see me for the qualities that I posses. If I were so horrible, why did he hang on to me? Even now when I tell him we should not be together anymore, we are still not having a clean break up.

All in All, I'm broken hearted. Torned between the pain of separating with the person I met there and the pain of knowing the last 2.5 years resulted in nothingness. I cannot make out which pain in more.

And I don't know what to do with my life now. I cannot move to the same country with the other person just because of the connection we had in 2 months( I'm willing to take risks but its too much of a responsibility for him... We came from different backgrounds and culture altogether) and I cannot ask him to move here since all his family r there, he's very devoted in his start up company there too ( working like 12hs/day) so obviously in the beginning, I already know we cannot be together, I just have to get over the pain. Breaking up with my bf is not to be with the other person, its just doing the right thing.