Taking Care of My Mother

[VincenzoG91]

There are two ways to make sure my sister keeps the house. Either she buys it from my mom for fair market value, or we immediately set up an intervivos trust to hold the house in my sister's name and then wait at least five years before applying for Medicaid. In other words, it would have been better to have set up that trust right after my dad died in late 2008. The only way to keep the house while receiving Medicaid assistance wouled be to keep my mom living in the house. And then after she dies, Medicaid can force us to sell the house so they can recoup the money they spent. The only way to protect the house from that scenario is to have a trust set up to hold the house in my sister's name (or mine) at least five years before applying for Medicaid. Five years ago, my mom was still very much in denial about memory problems, so she wouldn't have agreed to the trust. And there is no great advantage to my sister buying the house, because then she would be right back to making regular house payments while struggling with her credit card debt. She would be better off just living with my mom without house payments and paying off the credit cards and then saving some money. Besides, this house isn't that special to our family. My family has moved a lot over the years. I went to three different grade schools. My sister went to four different high schools. To the extent that we think of any place as the family home, it was the house that we lived in for 9 years when we were kids, and our family moved out of that house a long time ago.

If anybody can see this through to the end, it's my sister. She is a very experienced nurse. She helped my mom care for my dad during his last year, when he was dying of cancer, and she helped my grandmother during the final year of her life. Her only serious issue with handling our mom is the rare occasions when our mom gets violent. My sister now has a theory that the violent behavior might be tied to a specific medication that my mom has been taking for almost a year now, so she is going to see about getting the dosage adjusted.

The other thing that I noticed while talking to my sister last night is that I need to be talking to her more often, to give her a chance to vent about everything. We were just normal siblings growing up, until the family moved away while I was in college. Since then, my sister has idealized me, kind of like one of those anime girls that swoons over her "big brother." So whenever I call her, it seems to be a big morale boost for her. I can do that much right now, and then hopefully the ongoing crisis at work will get resolved soon, freeing up my time and money to help her.

[smackie9]

Can you not have the house put into your sister's name? I'm sure with getting a lawyer involved it can be done. Then the house can be protected.

[VincenzoG91]

Can you not have the house put into your sister's name? I'm sure with getting a lawyer involved it can be done. Then the house can be protected.

Unless my sister pays my mom fair market price for the house, my sister would need to have had the house for at least five years before my mom applies for aid from Medicaid. We don't need Medicaid right now, my mom still has some savings and she gets both her own social security check and my dad's check. But if things got worse and Medicare wasn't enough to cover costs, then we would need to apply for Medicaid. Most likely, that would only be necessary if we placed my mom in a nursing home, because that's so expensive. Anyway, if she goes into a nursing home and applies for Medicaid, they will require her to exhaust all of her assets except for $2,000. If she is still living in her house, the house is excluded from that requirement. But when my mom dies, Medicaid would then try to recover their costs by forcing sale of the house. I thought that an attorney could just draft a trust arrangement to shield the house, but since maybe 2006, that has to be done at least five years before applying for Medicaid. Five years ago today, my dad was still alive and he was the only one who thought that my mom was having memory problems. It wasn't until early 2010 that my mom was officially diagnosed with dementia, so that would have been the soonest that she might have agreed to the trust. At the rate things are progressing, I think we missed our chance.

[smackie9]

Get a lawyer that handles estate situations....I'm sure there is a way around it. I guess Canadian law is different....a parent can sign over most of their assets/ house/property to their child or children with the help of a lawyer. No paying fair market value. Same thing can be done with a motor vehicle. All they have to do is write "transferring as a gift" and pay one dollar.

[smackie9]

Lord Darkshire" "Wow your laws suck down there. My dad signed over his house to me so it wouldn't go into probate after he died....I didn't have to pay one cent to him for it."

I bet there is a loop hole the old government doesn't want the average citizen to know about......it's worth looking into.....you never know Vince.

[smackie9]

BTW I thought there was healthcare reform in the US or is that sugar coated bull shit.

[IndiReloaded]

Vince - I sent you a PM about this. Please send me a Friend request so I can reply. Not sure why we aren't already connected, but there it is. Feel for ya.

[VincenzoG91]

BTW I thought there was healthcare reform in the US or is that sugar coated bull shit.

There was healthcare reform here, but it was so insanely complex that few people understand all the implications until they are all phased in. I noticed that the insurance companies were all against it, until they were suddenly in favor of it, so I think they are probably the true winners in this reform.

[smackie9]

People say our ways in Canada is socialist and you don't have rights. Well if you have the government regulating it so the public doesn't get taken for a ride by greedy insurance companies and financial institutions, it's a better place to be I tell ya. Since it's so complicated for you that's why I suggest getting an estate lawyer involved. Talk it over with your family and see if that is the route to go. I'm sure a lawyer can find many options to get money and to have the house protected. There is also the internet...start googling your questions and see what is posted out there.