Thoughts on a guy just striking up conversation?

[OKANEED]

Still in secondary school and I want to come out of my shell a bit and be a bit more confident with girls, and it was suggested to me to simply start a conversation with every girl I come across, if appropriate. For example if I get to a lesson early and another girl is waiting outside that I kinda know, but don't really talk to, I should just ask her about her weekend etc ...
I'm a bit apprehensive and am not sure if girls would find this annoying/creepy/etc... ? Like I said, this would be girls who I know, since I have been at the school for 3 years, but are not really in my social group/are out of league
How would you feel if a guy came up to you that you recognize but have never really talked to and just started a conversation?

Thanks

(P.S. I am sure some of you will say "How else will you ever talk to girls/make new friends?". What I am saying is that these are not new people, they are people who know me and I don't talk to cause I am shy, they aren't expecting me to talk to them because every other time I have been in this situation I just look down at my phone )

[VerticalMoon]

Go for it! It helps people feel more popular when somebody approaches them for a conversation, regardless of who that person is. They won't mind.

I actually forced myself to talk to more people toward the end of high school- guys and girls- because I was really shy. It was suggested to me by a therapist. I had the same concerns you do. They're not used to seeing me talk to them, so won't they find it weird that I'm talking to them now? It was scary at first. But only good things ever came of it. I only wish I'd started doing it sooner. It only gets harder to find good opportunities to talk to new people when you're out of school. Good luck!

[searock]

This should be in the teenage love forum...

[babybesocial]

First things first. It's perfectly cool to be a bit shy and reserved when it comes to talking to people. We are all built differently and according to research on personality types, some individuals are more introverted while other's are more extroverted.

The real question is: How do you own your Introversion and set yourself up in the best possible scenario to naturally talk to others.

Obviously, starting at parties or big social gatherings would be a BAD IDEA because that is an environment owned by extroverts. Instead, consider the library, or even coffee shops that are more quiet. It is a more natural environment to strike up a conversation as an introvert, at least at first.

"Practice makes better" so start by doing this: Find someone who is in one of your classes. Ask them how "so and so" class is going for them? Tell them how it's going for you. And then transition with something like...

"It's funny we have been going to the same school for 3 years and we've hardly spoken." Then smile.

From there, ask them a few open ended questions. Given your age, go with something chill and relevant to the conversation

Examples:
1. So what extracurriculars (activities) are you involved with? (Then tell them what you are involved with)
2. Have you decided on your plans after high school?
3. Where are you from originally?

If you aren't comfortable starting with a girl, start with a guy. In the end...learning how to engage other's in conversation is a learned skill. Once you practice the skill, even if it's with guys at first, you will eventually start to build your "conversational muscle."

From there, you can start practicing with girls.

And once you do that, you can move on to practicing with "girls you like."

Best of luck buddy!

[smackie9]

Punching her in the arm and run away would be a good start.

[smackie9]

True experience: When I was in grade 10 I was in my drafting class, the teacher wasn't in yet so I was chatting with my friend while we waited. This guy (another student) walks in writes his name on the board turns to me and says in a loud voice " My name is Eddie Byers, remember this name" and then walked out the door. I thought that was pretty bold of him. He never did approach me, but at the end of the school year I got an anonymous love letter in my locker. Never did find out who wrote it, but I wondered if it was him. Then again it might have been this Wheeler guy in my art class lol.

That was over 30 years ago and it still makes me wonder who....(I still have the letter)

[OKANEED]

I will! yeh I know the feeling, like it is too late for me to talk to them. Thanks, im going off to a conference in a few weeks in another country with total strangers so I might try it out there since I have nothing to lose! Thanks

[OKANEED]

Wow did not expect that detail! Thanks for the advice, yeh exactly, people often invite me to parties because they think I will come out of my shell by being forced but I know for a fact I would just leave after an hour and not talk to anyone! Thanks for the "going to same school" line, I think I will use that, quite a good way to not make it awkward!